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    TRACYNOTGIVINUP   32,947
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THIS is why you NEVER GIVE UP!!! At goal, my journey with pics!


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Friday, September 14, 2012

I remember when I first started out on this journey on July 8, 2011. I didn't take any pictures or measurements. I didn't announce my goals or aspirations to anyone in my family or even to any of my friends. I started eating well and exercising. I am sure my family noticed, but not really. I did it mostly when my husband was at work and my kids are kids and don't really pay much attention to me all that much, since I am "just their mom" to the then 15 and 11 year old and the then 1 year old had no clue.

Why you wonder? I didn't think I was going to stick with it. Not to mention I had already lost this weight one time and over 11 years it all came back, so I had doubts that it could happen again. I was excited and it seemed like such a great plan and idea, but I have tried countless things, especially in the year leading into this and nothing ever seemed to last all that long. I didn't want to announce it and draw attention to the fact that "hey one month later and Tracy is back to eating boxes of candy and cookies all day long". So, I kept it to myself. I didn't want people to look at me think that I was going to be obese for the rest of my life because I couldn't stick with something, that I didn't value myself enough. At the time, I didn't really realize that I DID NOT value myself enough, I felt happy with myself and my life. Little did I know huh?

Not even one month in and my in laws were coming to CT to prepare and celebrate my sister in laws wedding. I now kinda had to tell people, they were at my house all the time and people were going to notice that I was eating better and definetly exercising now. I planned on speaking about it as little as possible still, but the words just started pouring out of my mouth to my family. I couldn't stop talking about SP. I finally took a picture on the day of my sister in laws wedding. Here I weigh 279, which is 7 pounds down from my starting weight. That is my husband with me, it is the closest I got to a full body shot.

From there things just started moving, I was taking pictures about once a month and really sparking. The weight was coming off at a good rate, at about a 2 pound a week average. I slowly started to notice that I was happier. I THOUGHT I was happy before, but I was NOT. I felt like I was living now, I was setting goals. In October I signed up for the virtual 5K on SP and decided to try walking/jogging it. Here I weigh 245, 40 pounds gone now.

During my program to walk/jog the 5K, I injure my knee. I felt devestated, but refused to give up, I searched and searched for exercises that would work for me. I enjoyed my daily exercising for the most part, but I needed goals, I enjoy having those too. A friend of mine allowed me to borrow her recumbent bike, best thing ever. I rode and rode and rode. And I was able to set goals with time, distance and pace, so it kept that part of me happy, while healing my knee. Come race time, I did go out and walked it and finished in a pretty good time of 44something. It left a good feeling inside of me.

Through the holidays I continued to stay on track, I lost and a couple of times gained in slightly small amounts, but kept going with it. I longed to run though. The bug really hit me after reading a fellow SP blog about a Disney Half Marathon. I don't know why this appealed to me so much, I have never been a runner, I have never even really tried it. But I kept thinking it was impossible. I was so scared to injure my knee past the point of no return. But I kept following the program. During this time, I had bad days. I had days that scared me into thinking, "What if I can't come back? What if I just keep binging and eating and I gain it all back?" But I kept doing the best I could and then my new name came along one day, I decided that I was NOT GIVING UP on myself. For some reason, pictures stopped in this. I felt pretty good about myself and just for whatever reason, stopped taking them. Here is one from January and I weigh 212 pounds, 74 pounds gone.

May of this year was a big turning point for me. I was running a "Biggest Loser" contest with some friends and knew that I couldn't win, but really what I wanted was to inspire other people to get healthier and find their own happier person as well. I was holding weekly walks at the high school track. One particular week at the end of May, I didn't get much response from people saying they were going over to the track. I said to myself, if no one shows up, I will walk for 4 minutes and jog for 1 minute. I honestly sat there hoping someone came! But, no one did and I set out to try anyhow. I figured I would stop if my knee started bothering me. I went for ONE HOUR straight. This was an eye opener to me. I NEVER believed I was even going to make the half hour mark without my knee hurting or me just not being able to go further, but I did ONE hour. This changed my whole thought process, not overnight, but it was certainly the beginning for me. I realized that I CAN do anything. Mind you that thought would go away and the self doubt would come back again....BUT NOT about losing the weight. At this time, the number on the scale took on less important role in my journey. I still wanted to lose weight and make it to my goal, but I was a happy, fit person who was able to do things I never thought possible and if I could do that day one of the walk jog, what else was in store for me. Here I am at the end of May, which is also when I hit 100 pounds gone, so I weigh 186 here.

At this time I also signed up for an actual 5K. I started doing the 5K Your Way on SP and found how much I was enjoying the challenge of completing it and I had some hard times. There were a couple of weeks that I didn't spend one week on that time, I spent two. The program which is supposed to take me 5 weeks, took me almost 8 weeks and I was okay with that. Three days before my race, was the next eye opener for me. My friend Rita who was running the race as well came to run with me. When we started our warm up, I explained I was doing the walk 1 minute jog 4 minutes in the training. She said we were going to try to jog the whole thing, I thought she was CRAZY! But I am not going to say no and so we set out and I did it. I jogged an entire 5K. I honestly would have cried if i was by myself. My race was on July 7th, which I thought was cool, it was one day away from my 1 year Sparkiversary. I went from a girl that could barely walk 30 minutes without being winded and in pain to JOGGING A 5K in one year. I thought it was a great way to end my first year. Here I am at 178 jogging in my first 5K with my daughter aside me and my friend Rita.

Now, I get the running bug. I love it, I don't want to stop, this is when I realize I can do the Disney Half Marathon. I start running more and more. I slowly increase my mileage. Now each time I run, I have doubts about my running and thinking I am INSANE for thinking I will someday run 13.1 miles since I am struggling with 4 miles. I really struggled in August of hitting 4.5 miles, so I took break and did that for a couple of weeks before moving on to 5 miles. This past week I had my next eye opener, I think this one may be a lifetime learning one.....I am running virtually to Disney to keep me motivated....I needed to run 5.95 miles to make it out of New York and into New Jersey. I decide to attempt this, mind you I am not fearful of high goals anymore. I don't care if tried and couldn't run more than 5.25 miles, I tried and I will make it one day. I haven't ever run more than 5.03 miles so far...until that day when I run the whole thing to get myself into Jersey. During that run, I realize if I can run almost an extra mile I WILL be able to run at Disney. I will train and do what I need to do to make it happen. I really can do anything I want. My husband told me the other day a marathon was too much, I told him no. Right now I don't want to do a marathon, who knows what the future will bring, but if I wanted to, I CAN train and run a marathon! I can also do other things that I decide I want to do, whatever they may be in the future.

Today I weighed in and unexpectedly not only lost the .6 pounds I needed to hit 165 pounds, but lost 2 more pounds with it. I am sure I have more weight to lose, but I decided I want to focus on the other things in my life more. If it comes off, it comes off. I am not giving up on any of my new life. I will keep sparking, tracking, running, toning....anything I want to do fitness wise. I will also continue to treat myself, to a bigger dinner or a movie sized box of popcorn or a cone with regular ice cream. I will continue to dream big and set bigger goals for myself rather than things I know I can do. I will continue to live up to my name, TRACYNOTGIVINUP. I challenge you all to do the same, especially if you are reading this and just starting out or feeling like it is going to take forever, or having doubts if you will be able to follow through. NEVER GIVE UP, just do whatever you can for that moment and keep going. Anything is possible!
Here is my pic from today weighing 162.5 pounds.
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Member Comments About This Blog Post:
LOULOU1063 9/18/2012 5:42PM

    Tracy Awesome job. You gave me the motivation I needed to get off the couch and hit the gym. I am also finding that I enjoy the fast pace walks and looking forward to my first 5K. . emoticon emoticon

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BAZOOKABOBCAT 9/18/2012 4:13PM

    TRACY!!! Oh my goodness. Look at you. Not only do you look incredible, you look like you're glowing from the inside out. I am so proud of you.

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HEATHOG 9/18/2012 2:53PM

    Fantabulous! Way to go!

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KICKINGKILOS 9/18/2012 1:21PM

    Love this blog


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JURASSICSUE 9/18/2012 12:19PM

    Well done! What an inspiration!
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TRACYMT2NY 9/18/2012 10:59AM

    Congratulations!!!! What an awesome source of encouragement and inspriation you are to all of us fellow sparkers! I love your whole mindset through out the whole thing and your dedication to yourself! From once Tracy to another - BRAVO ! Well done! You are smoking hot!

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M-DAVIS 9/18/2012 10:16AM

    Congratulations on ur wonderful success!!! Ima so glad this was the first blog I chose 2 read 2day. I've been struggling wit my own journey and ur encouraging words hit the spot 8)

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MISSMARCYB 9/18/2012 12:42AM

  Wonderful! emoticon

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BEAUTY_WITHIN 9/18/2012 12:31AM

    WAY TO GO!!! WOOHOO! :) and thanks for the inspiration!

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LAHUDSONCHEF 9/17/2012 11:32PM

    Tracy, very inspiring! emoticon

Though I've not caught the "running bug", I am attempting to walk/jog the Trick or Treat Trot...and see how I do. Overall, I prefer walking emoticon , but who knows, this may make a runner of out me! emoticon

My knees are both suspect, since I injured them both ages back and they've never been the same...add bursitis in one knee and the other hip, and that makes for an ice-packed after-training emoticon ! However, as I get stronger, I find the problems with my joints are more easily managed. So, I have hope. emoticon

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L1ZB3TH354 9/17/2012 10:50PM

    Thanks for your inspiring blog. I was sitting here making excuses to "take a recovery day". But thanks to you I am going to change into my workout clothes and start walking. You are awesome, keep going strong. emoticon emoticon emoticon

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THETROUT 9/17/2012 10:27PM

    Unbelievable change in you! Wow!

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MOTORCITYNANA 9/17/2012 9:47PM

    You are truly an inspiration!

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DSIMS8 9/17/2012 9:24PM

    I loved reading your story! Thanks for sharing it with all of us sparks!! emoticon

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LEB0401 9/17/2012 9:20PM

    Wow! I LOVE reading blogs like this. It really puts wind in my sails. Thanks for inspiring a novice runner like me.

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NEWANDHEALTHY13 9/17/2012 9:19PM

  Very inspiring. Thank you. Congrats on the great work

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COWCUTTER05 9/17/2012 9:16PM

    emoticon emoticon !! I'm battling my own self doubts right now and I appreciate you posting your journey for us to see. You look amazing! I want to reach my goals very badly this time around and yes I fear the failure, Last time I seriously sparked I lost 30lbs before my wedding 9/12/09. I've just celebrated my third anniversary and the 30lbs were back to celebrate with me. So I've geared up again, I'm getting support from my hubby and a coworker but other than that I've been on the down low so to speak - I don't want them to know if I fail again.
So, emoticon again for your inspiration! 155 here I come...no matter how long it takes!!!!
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EABL81 9/17/2012 9:09PM

    Congratulations! Your hard work sure paid off!
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CINDYL611 9/17/2012 7:57PM

    Tracy, thank you for this blog... I saw it because my cousin subscribes to your blog and I saw it on her feed... You are an inspiration! I weighed about 165 when I got married 19 years ago tomorrow... I was 199 when I got pregnant with my daughter who will be 15 next month. surprisingly I only gained about 10 lbs with her... but I didn't loose it and 6 months later I was pregnant again... again, I gained about 10 lbs with my son... but never saw 199 again... I need to lose about 55 lbs to get to my wedding weight... and really another 15 or so beyond that... I've walked a 5k each of the last 6 years for our local hospital's Cancer Center that cared for my father in law... but without really training for it. I think I need to 'change things up' a bit...

Thank you for the inspiration - proving, that it CAN be done... and I CAN do it before my 20th anniversary next year! emoticon

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SVELTENSASSY 9/17/2012 7:39PM

    Good for you. I admire your tenacity.
You did it, Girl!

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MAMA_CD 9/17/2012 7:25PM

    Congrats! you look great

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MIPALADY23 9/17/2012 7:09PM

    Woooo hooo awesome!

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LEALOWE 9/17/2012 6:49PM

    Way to go. You look marvelous.

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KELLY19770 9/17/2012 6:17PM

    emoticon emoticon

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AGK3112 9/17/2012 5:18PM

    emoticon emoticon

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CHANGINGEMMY 9/17/2012 4:34PM

    Thank you so much for being soo inspiring and motivating. It's exactly what I needed today. I'm starting over AGAIN!! You are awesome!! Keep up the hard work!

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JUNIORSSISTER 9/17/2012 4:28PM

    My friend your post today was an answer to prayer. I am starting over yet again after a very long break, at least two years. There is so much self doubt in trying to start over again. But I know I just need to look ahead and do it. Seeing your post today was just that shot of inspiration that I really needed. Be proud of your accomplishments and know you have really provided inspiration to fellow sparker.

Congrats.

Patty A.K.A Junior's Sister

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LORAFAY 9/17/2012 4:27PM

  Tracy, you look amazing! Thank you for sharing this. It made my cry and inspired me! I am sooo happy for you!

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BANDMOM2012 9/17/2012 3:51PM

    emoticon

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JULIA1154 9/17/2012 3:34PM

  Thanks for sharing your journey. I'm very happy for you.

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GRATEFUL_BEING 9/17/2012 3:24PM

  You look amazing. You are amazing. Now I feel like I can do a 5k emoticon

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TARAFROMTX1 9/17/2012 3:15PM

    Way to go Tracy!!! You Look Wonderful my friend!! I am so Happy for you!! You have done an awesome job!!! I have to say I can completely relate to how you felt in the beginning.. about not telling family or talking about it... I am the same way.. its only been about a month ago I started posting pics and saying things.. and this is after losing 115ls in the past 14 months and 145lbs total.. leaving me with about 85 to 95 more to go. Only after getting more than half way there lol.
You are a True inspiration my friend!!!! emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon

Comment edited on: 9/17/2012 3:16:49 PM

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PAM9704 9/17/2012 2:09PM

    What an inspiration ---- great story. You look amazing!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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PAM9704 9/17/2012 2:08PM

    What an inspiration ---- great story. You look amazing!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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IAMABIGFATLOSER 9/17/2012 1:51PM

    Way to go Tracy! I am just starting out and am very close to what your starting weight was, about 10 pounds higher. This is really inspiring for me, knowing that I can do it (even with 3 kids!), remembering that I am worth it and realizing that I am not alone. Thank you for sharing your story and congratulations on your achievement!

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BECCAAPPLE 9/17/2012 1:42PM

    WTG!!!!


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STRUMERCAT 9/17/2012 1:41PM

    Thanks for the motivating blog! Your contagious excitement and confidence in yourself shines through.

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RUN2MYDREAMS 9/17/2012 1:37PM

    Thank you so much for sharing your story with myself and others. It helps us to see that if emoticon then emoticon !!

Congrats on your successes thus far! One thing that's most important is to LIVE! And you are definitely doing that emoticon

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CYN_BOW 9/17/2012 1:26PM

    Thank You For This....I don't know why I clicked on this blog but something called me too and you have given me some strength and I know that it is not easy and it will not be easy bit I have been encouraged to give it my all. I Gotta Start Somewhere and no matter the struggle keep pushing myself to do it...

THANK YOU SO MUCH - I NEEDED THIS....I am in my beginnings and it is a struggle to convinvce myself not to give up on myself but I am ready for the fight...

Thanks again....

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JMEEMB 9/17/2012 1:24PM

  Thanks for lasting inspiration. So glad for your accomplishments and new health!

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FIFTYFOUR2 9/17/2012 1:19PM

    Congratulations! And thank you for posting - you helped me more than you know- I was actually thinking of giving up - I have a long way to go but I won't now!

You look great and happy!!! emoticon

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CPATRICK9 9/17/2012 12:57PM

    Fantastic! Thanks for sharing your story!

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MSBLT82 9/17/2012 12:43PM

    WAY TO GO!!! You are amazing!!

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HECKSYEAH 9/17/2012 12:32PM

    You are an inspiration!

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VOLLEYGIRL77 9/17/2012 12:02PM

    That is so awesome!! Congrats on your success!

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JANIENKP 9/17/2012 11:57AM

  Your persistence is motivating and the fact that you admitted it is an ongoing battle but you are getting stronger and more disciplined with each goal reached - CONTRATULATIONS and best wishes as you continue with the new lifestyle! emoticon

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FITMAY 9/17/2012 11:17AM

    You are so INSPIRING!!! Thanks for sharing your story... exactly what I needed to read to refocus this week...
Much love and admiration,
May emoticon

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WOOFGANG 9/17/2012 11:09AM

    Awesome, great job and thanks for sharing your joy with everyone. That alone is inspiring!

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ST8NLIFE 9/17/2012 11:09AM

  Amazing attitude! emoticon emoticon

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4THEFASHION2 9/17/2012 10:58AM

    Made me cry! You did it!!! You beat it! I'm so happy for you.

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