Tuesday, September 11, 2012
WEEK 1 ITC: Start by looking at things that might be holding you back from reaching your goals. Make a list of 5 things that might be holding you back or share 5 things that might have held you back in the past. You can do this privately, blog, journal or share it on your team in a thread.
Healthy Change Bonus: REFLECTING
Blog or journal about 1 thing that you are planning to work on this Fall Challenge. We will compare in Week 10 and see how far we have come.
I've written a private post with my five items... I won't be sharing that post, as a couple of the things holding me back are deeply private & not able to be aired.
However, I will share with you all one thing from my past that was holding me back.
I was just flat out lazy.
I would have rather sit in front of the TV or computer or lounge on the sofa with a book instead of getting on my feet and being active. It took a real kick in the dignity to get me off my ass and do something about my weight.
I was always of the opinion that I was fairly healthy, just fat. My blood pressure was good, cholesterol was good, I didn't get winded going up stairs, I was able to go for a good long hike if I wanted to. I just didn't like how I looked. I'd been "trying" to lose weight for a few years... But, I guess I just wasn't serious about it. I wasn't in the right head-space or something. I'd lose 10-15 pounds, then just sort of slip back into old habits and gain it right back - plus a few friends.
So, what kicked my dignity hard enough to make lazy stop taking up precious space in my life?
Well. It was two fold, really. First was that I tipped over 300 pounds.
At 5'11", I didn't look as heavy as I was. Thank goodness... but that didn't mean that this was an okay weight. I was "morbidly obese" and not happy with how I looked. I avoided looking in the mirror. The 10 year anniversary of my mom passing away was looming, and I remember that I had sworn to myself that I would NEVER let my weight get out of hand as she had. When she passed, she was over 400 lbs. She had been wheelchair bound & oxygen dependent for at least 7 years/100 pounds prior to her death. When I hit that 300 pound mark, I realized that I was well on my way to following in her not-so-good footsteps.
As horrible as that all was, the actual final straw for my 300 pound camel was not getting to go on a shore excursion that my husband and I had booked for our 13th Anniversary cruise. We wanted to go on a "Mayan Cave" adventure - which included zip lines & rappeling. We booked it, it looked AMAZING! Didn't even occur to me that my weight would be a problem. I was in "good health", hiking & such didn't even faze me.
But, then, we got there. And they weighed me and said I was too heavy for the adventure, that their equipment wouldn't handle me. I think I was the only one who got weighed. I was mortified! And, I swore that I would _NEVER EVER EVER_ have something like that happen again.
Plus, with as much travelling as my husband & I want to be doing, I realized that I didn't want to be thought of as "The Fat American". I didn't want to be looked at askance if I sampled cheeses in France or chocolates in Belgium. And, while I'm still a large girl (still in the "overweight" BMI range), I'm also muscular, and I'm working on dropping that last 10-20 pounds and firming myself up. I certainly don't look "fat" anymore.
So, what am I going to be working on for this Fall BLC challenge? I've just started the P90X program - and I'm going to see how "tone" I can get. Maybe I can even get down into a "normal" BMI range?
Hubby & I will be jetting off to New Zealand & Australia in November - and I'm looking forward to not being That Fat American.