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Day 21: Too Many Hats

Tuesday, September 11, 2012



Today I am literally running around playing so many roles that I feel like a juggler about to have a massive accident. I have always worn a lot of hats, but somehow I used to be able to balance it better than I can now. This week alone, I will literally be playing all of these roles (in no particular order), sometimes having to switch back and forth when the phone rings:

- New Yorker
- Teacher
- Student
- Arts administrator
- Program department head
- Development consultant
- Bookkeeper
- Stepmother
- Marketer
- Graphic designer
- Window dresser
- Studio manager
- Self-employed artist
- Hairdresser
- Gardener
- Partner, daughter, sister and friend

Somehow on days like today, when I am literally going from one thing to another from 9AM-10PM (switching hats constantly), it's hard not to feel completely defeated in the work I am doing for myself. How can I fit in all the meal planning and preparation, let alone exercise and meditation, with this kind of schedule? I am already exhausted from a similar day yesterday. It's technically the last day of my cleanse and I don't want to fall off the wagon. But this much stress and exhaustion makes it so hard to resist temptation.

I have to remember to put "human" on this list in the future, and not to let it get this crowded again. This will require me using the word "no," which is hard for me. I want to be able to do it all, like so many women. But what am I trying to prove? Is there ANYTHING on this list that satisfies ME at all? Not really, not right now. When I am spread this thin, I don't do well enough on anything to derive good results, let alone be present to enjoy them.

I know better than this. I know that we are human BEINGS, not human DOINGS. This is obviously still something I need to work on.



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  • MELANIEBAUR
    You've had a LOT of those hats in your closet for as long as I've known you. I know it's hard to toss aside familiar/comfortable clothes, but perhaps some of those hats don't fit you anymore? Or at least don't match your current outfit? Spring cleaning in Autumn sounds good to me. You're awesome for at least SEEING that you can't wear all the hats at once without looking like a Dr. Seuss character. XO
    1772 days ago
  • SCAREWALDORF
    I think we are all guilty of this from time to time. Next time you want to say yes, even though you know you probably shouldn't, just remember if you spread yourself too thin, you won't do your best on what you've said yes to.

    I hope that makes sense!
    1773 days ago
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