Day 21: Too Many Hats
Tuesday, September 11, 2012
Today I am literally running around playing so many roles that I feel like a juggler about to have a massive accident. I have always worn a lot of hats, but somehow I used to be able to balance it better than I can now. This week alone, I will literally be playing all of these roles (in no particular order), sometimes having to switch back and forth when the phone rings:
- New Yorker
- Arts administrator
- Program department head
- Development consultant
- Graphic designer
- Window dresser
- Studio manager
- Self-employed artist
- Partner, daughter, sister and friend
Somehow on days like today, when I am literally going from one thing to another from 9AM-10PM (switching hats constantly), it's hard not to feel completely defeated in the work I am doing for myself. How can I fit in all the meal planning and preparation, let alone exercise and meditation, with this kind of schedule? I am already exhausted from a similar day yesterday. It's technically the last day of my cleanse and I don't want to fall off the wagon. But this much stress and exhaustion makes it so hard to resist temptation.
I have to remember to put "human" on this list in the future, and not to let it get this crowded again. This will require me using the word "no," which is hard for me. I want to be able to do it all, like so many women. But what am I trying to prove? Is there ANYTHING on this list that satisfies ME at all? Not really, not right now. When I am spread this thin, I don't do well enough on anything to derive good results, let alone be present to enjoy them.
I know better than this. I know that we are human BEINGS, not human DOINGS. This is obviously still something I need to work on.