Monday, September 10, 2012
Yesterday my mind monkeys wouldn’t let go. No matter how many bananas I tossed them they rode the edges of my brain whispering all sorts of negative mantras. You see, I had just stepped off the scale with ONLY (lol) a 2.2 pound loss. It certainly wasn’t the seven pound loss from the week before.
I was slipping back into old patterns and behaviors, wasn’t I?
I had walked this road before only to stumble and skin my knee and remain, well remain FAT.
At least that’s what those monkeys swinging from my synaptic junctions kept telling me. We’re hard wired for the negative. Everything in our world screams “Make you better.” When we fall short of whatever better is, usually on the cover of US and People, we slip into a state of depression and the monkeys go wild. At least mine do. Yesterday I tossed them a few emotional bananas and while it didn’t totally satisfy them it quieted them down long enough for me to have a really good day that didn’t revolve around what I put in my mouth.
My clothing has begun to fit better. It’s not baggy or anything like that. Let’s say it’s less snug. I noticed it around mid-week. This road has been traveled well too. The mind says something like “Ooooooo you’re gonna weigh in with a huge loss!!” The day comes to weigh in and you want to see if your scale is broken. “But never mind, ignore the nice feeling lose clothes give you it was ONLY 2.2 pounds.”
In reality whatever I am doing is starting to work. I’m following the path of my September goals; portion control, thirty minutes of movement or exercise each day and ten minutes of quiet time each day.
The week following a huge loss is like winning the Super Bowl or the World Series. What do you do the next week; lose eight pounds, then nine the next and suddenly you are on life support? There is a lot of pressure to succeed and when we put it on ourselves only one thing is going to happen; someone finds the key, opens the door and the mind monkeys go wild.
I sat at church yesterday and heard the beautiful gospel reading about Jesus curing the man who was deaf and mute. He uttered the words “Be Open.” The monkeys quieted down. He asked that we open ourselves and our lives to everything that comes our way, good, bad or indifferent. In this story he opens us up to all sorts of possibilities if we only stop for a few minutes and really listen to them.
I am 2.2 pounds lighter, my clothes fit better, I am sleeping better and I am more alert and much more active. When I sit and close my eyes those are the images that dance before my eyes.