I got to be me
Thursday, September 06, 2012
We grow neither better nor worse as we get old , but more like ourselves " May Lamberton -Becker
Lately for some reason I have not felt fully me. Or maybe I should say as happy of me as I should. I have been hypercritical and a real bully to myself. I have been on a stay-cation. And I have spent to much time on the stay part. My husband has been helping his dad all week on short notice and since I don't have many friends I have spent a lot of time alone and not happy with it.
But that all changes today we both went to the beach my favorite place. Since it is a season ending time we had a lot of room to ourselves. We had a brunch on the patio of a hotel and I found myself to be more open and not as shy as usual.
Then we sat outside and marveled at the ocean waves and I read a good book. My husband went and put his chair in the water but I was fine where I was and just sat there and reflected.
Later we went on two walks my favorite thing to do at the beach and if I lived closer I would be walking every day I so love it.
While we were eating our picnic lunch the husband went and got me a drink at the hotel bar. He comes back with a daiquiri for me. Lol, I just told him last time I was here I did not like that drink. lol he forgot. Then a couple hours later he comes back with an amaretto on the rocks and said he didn't want to get me a beer because he didn't want to mix my drinks. I laughed hysterically at this. He does not know me at all.
But I was so glad I went to the beach because I got to know me better. And from what I saw of me or in me I ain't that bad. I mean I was liking what I was seeing. I talked to a few people there and made them laugh. I was kind and tipped generously. I even did not take my husbands head off for getting me the wrong drinks after being married for 23 years. I seem to mellowing with age and also am more open and caring.
I plan to spend some more alone time so I can think of the things I really love to do besides writing that is. My daughter will be off to college next year and the husband just bought a small boat and we will spend less time together .I need to find fun things to fill my time. Hopefully if I continue to be open and caring I may find a friend some day to fill up more time.
As I get older I would like to be more like myself and totally know me and like me as much as I like each one of you my friends here.I am sure this new me will eat better and get more exercise and am sure I will because I always have my friends here to remind me of just who I am.