Thursday, September 06, 2012
Good Afternoon, Everyone!
Things are going well. I'm really looking forward to my nutritionist apt tomorrow bc now I'm free of crazy therapist lady.
I have to get a plan to stop this mindless/stress eating. I have to stop the eating when I'm not hungry crap too. I think the problem is that I like to eat (ha, who doesn't, right?) and the stuff I like is pretty much crap....well, kinda. The overeating thing is a problem too. I overeat on the "good" stuff too.
I feel liked I've tried everything to distract myself from it, but I'm hoping that there is something else that can help me. I'm hoping my nutritionist has some other ideas bc I'm at a loss. I've tried reading, knitting, walking, playing with the dogs, etc etc etc but it's not working. I either ignore the distraction and eat or do the distraction and eat afterwards.
I know this sounds like I don't care about my body and well being, but I really do. I just have a twisted way of showing it. I'm not sure why, in my head, that being lazy and eating crap is considered a reward, but eating well and working out is considered a punishment or a "have to". No one wants to feel like that HAVE to do something that isn't enjoyable to them.
I wish I could make it all more fun, but no matter how you slice it, it's not (well, unless I'm slicing cake bc that is fun). The things that I'm doing now and not doing to my body obviously aren't working and aren't making me any happier. Maybe I'm uncomfortable with change. Maybe I have to push through it all. Maybe I just have to suck it up and realize that, when I'm eating well and working out I'm doing what's best for me. I'm kinda like a kid.....you tell them to do something and it's b/c your their parents and they have to listen to you. You know better, right?
Results will come slowly but surely and I just have to be patient. When I was 8, I broke my elbow and the doctor said I HAD to touch my fingers, bend at the elbow and touch my shoulder. I tried, it hurt like a bitch and I refused to do it again. No one could convince me that touching my shoulder was the best thing for me. I felt that wearing a cast and not bending my elbow was the way to go. It was too hard and it hurt like a mother.
Then stepped in my smart parents......they said that if I touched my shoulder I could get the Barbie bedroom set I wanted for so long. It was lovely. It was pink and purple with drawers that organized Barbie's clothes, shoes and accessories. My Barbie and the Rockers doll and my Great Shape Barbie needed to store all their things in an organized fashion. They needed that pink bed and vanity. How would they ever live without that set?! Damn if I didn't touch my shoulder within a week of that bribe.
I just need to find that Barbie bedroom set grit and determination again. I know it's there somewhere, just gotta dig deep, right?