Thursday, September 06, 2012
I have wasted 35 years of my life. Maybe not all of it, but a good chunk of it. I've worried about my weight, what people thought of me, paying for binges and then about how much the scale was going to go up. Finally I blocked it out saying tomorrow. Well there is no more tomorrow.
My younger sister is 29. Yesterday morning came the devastating news that she has uterine cancer. She has no children, and now she may very well never have children. Growing up I was not the one that anyone thought would be a mom yet I have a beautiful 3 year old boy that I love more than life itself. My sister however couldn't get pregnant. After a miscarriage a few weeks ago and a barrage of tests and trips to the er, we finally got the reason why.
I went to bed numb yesterday. I feel guilty. I have a heavy heart because I truly love my sister, even though we don't always get along. She's strong, but she's tired of being strong. Now I have new worries. I worry about her. I can't imagine life without my sister. I worry about my mom who is terrified inside. Cancer doesn't happen to one person. If affects everyone. My sister isn't dying but I haven't been living. Now I need to. For her. For my son. For me.
There is no more tomorrow. Every day is your here and now and you have to make the most of it. 24 hours is a very short period of time. In a blink it's gone. When you open your eyes in the morning, what will you say about yesterday? Will it be everything it should have been? Be thankful for today, don't regret yesterday but make today better every day because there won't always be a tomorrow. I love you Elizabeth Marie. We'll all get through this with you!!