Thursday, September 06, 2012
It's crazy that whenever I feel like I'm making leaps and bounds, I find myself facing things I thought I had overcome.
Since when was just running up a flight of stairs suddenly difficult again? Since when did I feel like quitting after 1 minute of jogging? It's moments like these that are both disheartening and reassuring. I want to be some wonder woman, one who everyday becomes stronger, faster, more athletic. For moments, during days when I lose count of how many times I've circled the track, I even take breathing for granted. (Being an asthmatic, this is a rare time in my life, when I'm not constantly concerned about my lungs.) But then, the days when I can barely bring myself to just run for 10 minutes, for just walk one more lap....it's those days that seem most important. They keep me grounded, focused, and remind me of my goal. Today is one of those days.
Would goals be easier to reach if they were...well...easier? Yes, in short term, I think so. But the long term of it would be more difficult. I'm competitive, and I desire challenge...and I think that years from now, this is what will keep me wanting to better myself; if fitness came easy, I might settle for just good enough, but because each day brings interesting differences and challenges it keeps my head in the game.
Today was a difficult day. I did not manage an hour of exercise. To be honest, I wasn't sure if I could manage any, but I did. 24 minutes. 24 minutes where I'm not sure if my will power was letting me down, or if my body was. But tonight, as I reflect, I'm left focused and empowered to make tomorrow better. Tomorrow, maybe, I will be wonder woman.