So, I haven't been the best about really sparking this week. With all of the school stuff getting back in order, it has just been super hectic. I'm hoping it will all calm down before too long.
I haven't weighed myself in weeks. Maybe even months. And it's not because I fear my behaviors. Do I work out every single day for 2 hours? No. Do I eat the perfect foods every single day? No. But, I am tracking, I am eating much healthier, and I am exercising. Overall, I feel better, and this makes a ton of difference to me. However, this morning, I received a compliment from a co-worker. She noticed my outfit and said it was cute and then she said, "it looks like you have slimmed down." I was completely stunned, and pleasantly surprised all at the same time! I guess I never thought about anyone noticing who wasn't completely aware of my lifestyle changes. I mean, she does know that I'm riding my bike to work more often, and I'm sure she sees me carrying my "breakfast in a cup" every morning. But I don't remember talking to this particular person about my journey in the past. It really did make me feel good today, and inspired me to believe that I am doing right, even when I think I'm not.
It also made me realize something very important. It's the small changes that we make daily to better our lives over time. It's not about breaking all old habits and creating brand new ones over night. These things take time, patience and daily effort. If only I had known that when I was younger. *sigh* Maybe I wouldn't have gone through years of ridiculous fad diets, self-hatred, multiple failures, and even a very lengthy battle with an eating disorder. I WISH I would have had this knowledge 15 years ago. I feel blessed that I am learning daily that it's not about a diet, excruciatingly painful and lengthy workouts (I'm talking the 8 or so hours of daily exercise I used to do years ago), starving the body, or eliminating foods. This is not living. Living life means getting up each day, thankful to be alive, enjoying the special moments with the ones you love, cherishing the body you have been given, and respecting yourself enough to take care of your physical, mental, spiritual and emotional well-being.
These are all things I'm still learning every day, and I still struggle with loving myself. But with each day, as I treat myself better than I did a year ago, (i.e. staying smoke free, eating foods that I enjoy and I know are much better for me than fast food 3 times a day, or getting some sort of physical activity), I know I am learning to love my body the way my body is loving me for treating it better! Hopefully that makes as much sense as it did in my mind!
Anyway, I just wanted to share this little bit of my thoughts with everyone. It's difficult for me to write my thoughts and feelings down for others to see, as I do feel self-conscious sharing so much of myself. But thankfully, I have felt nothing but love, encouragement, friendship, and acceptance from those involved with sparkpeople.
I hope that by boldly sharing my experiences, I can at least impact one person in this journey.
Blessings to all!!!