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    TISTEN23   26,257
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My baby is in 2nd grade now!!!

Wednesday, September 05, 2012

Where has the time gone? He just had his first day of 2nd grade today!!! Wow!!!

The mother in law is driving me crazy though! She is saying that its not normal for him to play by himself at recess. Nothing has changed. He has always played by himself on some days and played with friends on the other days. Just depends on his mood. He is very shy, and I am not concerned, but its causing us to argue.

Is this normal? What do you think?

He is almost 8 years old. Been at the same school (district) for 3 years. Has kept many of the same friends, though most are not in his class this year. I dont want to take him out of his class, but MIL does. He finally has a male teacher (he has had 3 females already, this is first male). Is this any cause for concern? Any input will be greatly appreciated!!!
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JANEMARIE77 9/7/2012 7:56AM

    people who don't have shy sons or aren't shy, quiet themselves will never understand

A lesson from my very shy son one i try to remember when I worry
We are at a family get together everyone sitting around a tall talking, expect me and my son we are listeners happy to be with others and hear what they have to say not at all uncomfortable with your selves. But than I hear the voices in my head (he should be talking like everyone else story goes on anyway here is what my very smart 11 year old said to me
"Mom I am very happy sitting here being and listen to others I don't need to be talking, I'm fine"
Now when I worry I try to remember this statement and truly the only time I worry is when I let what others think effect what I think he should be doing.
If he is happy does your son need to be like everyone else is it the best thing do we really know that.(are people who have lots of friends always happy? do they have the best lives ? ) Remind you MIL that he is happy with himself and try not to make him feel less than because he chooses a different way.

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SAMI199 9/7/2012 5:48AM

    My son was also shy,every kid is different. You know him better than anyone,so follow your own instincts. I know your MIL means well, I hope she will be less concerned as the school year goes on. I wouldn't change teachers unless there was a good reason. I remember all the drama every year about which teacher your kid had-there was always the one teacher everyone wanted & if you didn't get him or her you were doomed to a year of horror. Please...we all need to learn how to deal with different people & situations.I think the wrong message is sent when we try to make our kids life "perfect". There is so much pressure to conform & have the very same things as everyone else. He will be fine with parents who love him & allow him to be himself. This is 2nd grade-You are doing a great job. looking back ,all the things I worried so much about were more about what other people thought."He's so shy...."
"Shouldn't you....." & all the rest of the advice. Funny thing-my son's in his late 20's & still not a super social kind of guy. he always has had a few close friends,& is fine
doing things on his own. My daughter was Miss Social Butterfly & still is. It's all good.
The time sure does fly...

emoticon

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FENWAYGIRL18 9/5/2012 10:03PM

    School isn't like when we were little, there are so many bullies now and it's sad to say but sometimes they r better off just playing alone...
Your mother in law should stay out of it, it's non of her business she's already raised her children your the parent here not her! You don't need the stress of wondering why your son plays alone, I don't see a problem with it...
It's good that he can entertain himself and doesn't count on others, yes it's nice to have friends but there's nothing wrong with it , he has to learn to adjust as we all do in life... We can't all have our friends with us as we go through life from job to job... He's growing as a child, he'll meet new kids to play with and if not as long as he's happy that's all that matters!
If he's coming to you complaining that's one thing but if it's your MIL tell her he's happy and that's all that matters!
Don't be afraid to speak up they are your kids! emoticon

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2HAMSDIET 9/5/2012 8:31PM

    If he is happy don't worry. emoticon

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TISTEN23 9/5/2012 7:28PM

    He says that his friends never let him make the rules, so he just plays his own games to make up his own rules (like he does at home with little brother and cousin wont play his way). I am not single, dad is here living with us. I just personally feel he will do better with a male teacher, as he had a male substitute last year for 2.5 months and did great with him. Dad works a lot, so its usually me and the 2 boys hanging out, doing homework, etc. But dad is involved, dont get me wrong!!! Just has to work a lot because I am a stay at home mom.

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READE2MOVE2012 9/5/2012 7:15PM

  In my opinion, if he has friends that he does on occasion play with then there isn't any reason to be concerned. I personally believe that people need to learn how to be alone and enjoy alone time.

At 8 years old, his friends must accept that is his personality, otherwise they would not play with him, at a later date.

However, as a grandmother, I can understand your MIL's feelings. You want to know that your "baby" is accepted by everyone.I assume thatt you may be single based on your staement about having a male teacher. I was a single parent when my sons were that age and was glad when they had a male teacher.

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