Wednesday, September 05, 2012
I have been slacking for 102 days. In that time, I could have lost easily 25 pounds. Or more. I think about how 102 days turn in to years of me not being very happy with myself. I spend a lot of my life waiting for it to start. I don't know what magical catalyst I am waiting for, ultimately the power to change comes from inside of me.
There is also the thought, that we should be happy with ourselves the way we are. There is truth there too. Maybe we need to love ourselves enough to want to improve? I don't know, I tend to use the "love myself the way I am" mantra to avoid change. I really can't balance "change" and "love" I don't think they are compatible. Because if you are truly committed to change, it's because you don't like something and if you truly love something you don't want to change it.
Blah Blah. I am back to change for now, again. I don't want to de-motivate myself. I think about the hundreds of pounds I have lost and gained over the course of my adult life. Why? I KNOW I am happier when I am thinner. I have more energy. I take better care of myself. I am a better mom. I am a better friend. I am a better wife. I am better.
I want to be better.
My first small goal (aside from actually starting) is to lose 10 pounds in 2 months. So, Nov. 5th.
The ultimate goal is to lose 66 pounds.