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    ABEAUTIFULMESS1   5,757
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Too Much Month at the End of the Paycheck

Tuesday, September 04, 2012

It's only Sept 4 and my paycheck is almost gone (ooops). I know I can make it work, and I'll be fine, but its just stressful. I hadn't had a regular paycheck since mid May and I felt like I was catching up with all the bills I was behind on. It had to be done, but it means the next 26 days are going to be tight! I did go shopping (definitely spent too much money) on Saturday and bought new jeans, shirts and sweaters for work.

I officially have gone down a size! I usually shop at Torrid because I like the styles and selection that they have. I feel like I can dress my age rather than dressing like a 40-50 year old. I don't mean that 40-50+ year olds don't dress well, but there is just a difference in style for someone older than me, and also for someone who is younger than me too. I tried on some size 22 jeans and.... THEY FIT!!!!! They were a tiny bit tight, but last time I went shopping, a few months ago, 24's were fitting the same way- a little tight- and now they just slipped right on/are a little big :-). I also am usually between a size 3 and 4 in their shirts- the size range is a 0-4- (sometimes even 4's were a little tight), and this time all the 3's that I tried on fit great! Its just a really fantastic feeling to know that the work I've put in has really started to pay off and its something that I can see now in the clothing that I'm buying.

This weekend was really good. I went shopping on Saturday, then spent time with "The Boy". He made some comments on Saturday evening- all pretty sweet/good- and one involved wanting to go to church together.

We both grew up going to church and have talked about wanting to start going again, but for me, I have had a really hard time finding a church that I like and actually want to go to. All of the churches anyone, especially my parents, have suggested are just... not what I'm wanting- they have no diversity and are just a mix of white, white and more white people and even though I am white I just don't really feel comfortable in those kind of congregations. I also prefer going to a church that's not necessarily in "rich suburbia"...I just don't feel that I really connect with groups in those areas...Its probably just because of experiences I've had/people I've worked with/kids I've taught. I do a lot better when there are various types of people from different backgrounds/cultures.

Anywho... after the comments he made, while I am definitely being a girl and probably reading too much into things- who knows maybe some of you guys can clue me in- I feel like we might be starting to kind of move forward with things a little...I'm hoping that he's realizing after spending so much time with me and noticing I'm still the same girl from a year ago- easy going, not pressuring him, don't want kids, supportive... and still love football, fishing, hanging out, etc....that it might be something that he wants on a more permenant/serious level.... I'm not going to push my luck or overthink things (well...I'm going to TRY not to anyways) but I'm hoping that sometime in the (near) future maybe he'll figure it out haha. We've just had some serious conversations about how if either of us get married (the conversations never revolve around US necessarily) that we want to be going to church with the other person and have a good/strong foundation with church/God being a huge part of that. The fact that he brought up wanting to go to church together just kind of made me think he might be thinking a little more long term or possible outside of just being friends(???).

On Saturday, we played games and just hung out. Then on Sunday, we went fishing- we hadn't been in a while so it was nice to finally get out for a while. On Monday, he and I just hung out at our own places and then I brought dinner over to his place and we ate, I helped him set up an excel sheet for work, and watched a movie. Then, I went home and went to bed.

I didn't sleep very well at all last night. I was constantly waking up, having really weird dreams and just couldn't get settled. I'm hoping that I'll sleep better tonight!

I know that this blog was just super random and didn't have a lot to do with diet/exercise, but its just what is going on with me.

Until Next Time emoticon
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  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

BIZZ27 9/11/2012 12:25PM

    I love it... As long as both of you are happy that's all that's important!! And I definitely get where you're coming from on the whole church thing and maybe reading into it a bit much. i would've totally done the same thing!!! lol

And down a size!! WOOHOOO for you!!!!!! I'm still not willing to go try on new clothes cause the ones I have still fit since I was wearing them when they were too tight anyway. I feel like if I go now and i don't see a big enough change, I'll get depressed and won't be happy with myself.

And you only get one check a month?? That's gotta be rough :s

Hope all is well, and text me when you've got the chance!!! Miss ya!!

xox, Bizz

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MIZINA730 9/7/2012 9:40PM

    If you're not ready to be serious, I know what you mean. I wondered if you were hoping for something more now. I reasoned that since you are a teacher, you must be a great communicator! I agree with the gentleman below that he does like you.The fact that he brought up going to church together is significant to me as well.

I appreciated the fact that you enjoy different cultures and all kinds of people. I do too.

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Comment edited on: 9/7/2012 9:41:59 PM

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ABEAUTIFULMESS1 9/7/2012 4:45PM

    Mizina,

We have really great communication and we've talked about where we are and what the other person is wanting/needing/comfortable with. We're just still in the "not ready for a relationship" state of mind. While I do, eventually, hope that things become more serious and more defined past being friends, I'd rather have things the way they are than not have him around. I'm not fully ready to be in anything too serious at the moment either so I think that we both really meet eachother's needs for now. We are pretty good about checking in with eachother on how we're feeling and so I don't really feel the need to have a conversation as of yet. Thanks for your input though! I appreciate it.

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MIZINA730 9/7/2012 1:28PM

    I think your blog is appropriate because it probably ties into your weight. Might I suggest that everyone be a little more clear and straightforward? That would solve some confusion.

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CLPURNELL 9/5/2012 1:03PM

    To give you a guys perspective if he is spending that much time with you he probably likes you. He honestly is probably just scared of being hurt or has his own personal reasons he is not ready for a relationship. The best relationships are the ones that blossom from friendships. So I would say just keep doing what you are doing. Work on getting yourself in a better place because no matter what happens you win in that situation. Glad you had a great weekend!

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MISSB8604 9/4/2012 5:53PM

    I too hate the short paycheck w/ the long month. Annoying!

WOOHOO for results!

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HELDER8 9/4/2012 1:22PM

    I think my favorite blogs are the ones that are just about life as opposed to always being about diet/fitness. It helps remind me that we're all just people, trying to work on those things in the midst of the chaos of life. I'm so glad you're starting to see results!!!! emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon

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