When I was sixteen, it was a very good year...
Tuesday, September 04, 2012
Whenever I think about going out for a spin on my bike, I think it won't be any problems whatsoever to go down to the end of the riverwalk and back. I remember that I used to bike miles and miles a day when I was 16... Admittedly, it wasn't for my health or fitness, it was because I was currently taking classes for my learner's permit and if I wanted to go anywhere in town my bike was my only mode of transportation. Well, I could have taken the ol' Shoe Leather Express (i.e., walking) but that would have taken FOREVER and a day, so, biking it is. My bike was a man's bike I really had to work to pedal. To this day I can't ride women's bikes unless I pull the seat all the way up so I fully extend my leg when I'm pedaling. Anyway, like I said, I thought nothing of pedaling the 2 or 3 miles out to Nicole's house, peadaling another mile back into town to Jonathan's, aimlessly pedaling another five miles in and around town, going BACK out to Nicole's, and then doing the 2-3 miles back home. I was a teenager in the summer who had no commitments other than to be home before dark. I had great friends who had the same lifestyle, and a great boyfriend whom I saw (and snogged) every day. I was probably in the best shape of my life! *lol* I was happy, I was healthy, I was getting my exercise...
Today I am thirty. My main commitment right now is work, which, including commute, takes up to 10+ hours of my day away. Add in all the other stupid adult things that need attention, like banking, laundry, housekeeping, errand-running... and that wonderful thing called sleep. I have discovered I require far more sleep now than I did then. I now think naps are the coolest things ever. *lol* All the summer friends have moved away and found lives for themselves, started families, have commitments of their own. The boyfriend and I broke up, didn't see eachother as often, and then went through several years of no communication before reuniting and picking up where we left off. He's now in Arkansas taking care of his own commitments, so the visiting (and snogging) only takes place for a short while every 6 to 8 weeks. I own a car now, so needing to bike anywhere to get anything is no longer a necessity. As long as I have gas money, I can go where I need to regardless of distance.
Now... that said, will someone please explain why I still think that I can ride my bike for DAYS and not feel tired in the slightest? *lol* I think, "Hey, I can ride to the end of the 'walk and back, no problem! I can go all night! yeehaw!" But once I get on my bike and pedal up that first hill outside the apartments I immediately regret my decision. What was going to be a 40 minute cruise to the train tracks and back morphed into a short spin around two of the side streets off my main road. One of the roads I'd never been down before, and I wasn't halfway around it before my lungs voiced their objection. I ended up going out for about 25 minutes, but that's still 25 more minutes of activity than if I had just chillaxed at the apartment all day.
Side note: I'm working overnights for the next three nights, and then have three days off in a row. It's my goal to actually take my bike out all six days in a row, if only around the 25 minute loop and not the full 40 minute run.
I'm feeling good that I got out, but feeling bad that such a small trip left me so tired. I'm kicking myself mentally for thinking I still have the stamina and health I did half my life ago. I was about 15-20 pounds lighter, my worst health problem was mild asthma, and I had plenty of people to go riding/walking with to take my mind off the pain.
(I just texted the roommate to see if she's interested in walkies anytime in the next 6 days... we can do short walkies after she gets home from work, and long walkies this weekend. No, I really have no idea why we still call them "walkies" even though neither of us still have dogs.)
Today, while not at my heaviest (186), I am heavier than I was. My health problems now include PCOS and a bout of Mono. I have far more "sit-down" hobbies as an adult than I did as a teen that consume much of my free time. I have no workout buddies other than my roommate, and our work schedules don't mesh most of the time. That said... why the heck do I think I can still do what I did then? Especially since I've been, for the most part, comparatively sedentary most of my adult life? Delusion, thy name is velvetalchemist. *snort* I am aware that, given enough time and focus, I could probably get close to how I was. I can be that active, (mostly) tireless girl I once was. I do think this bothers me more than my actual weight/size. O_o
So there it is. More focus on my stamina, less focus on my size. Sound good?