Monday, September 03, 2012
I was never a skinny minny All through high school I was about 150 lbs, was considered fat by my mother who had no problem saying "stuff " about my weight. Can't you suck in that stomach etc. Actually she still does, usually in front of as many people as she can. Or her other one is to tell complete strangers that she doesn't go to my house its too dusty or other slaps at my housekeeping skills. Looking back the weight was probably a good weight for me. I am a big girl, 5' 10" and other than "tone" aka the stomach I was probably fine. I never felt it however.
I left home shortly after graduating high school. I went to the community college for about 6 months, but then the fast life of freshman year probably did me in. Too much partying and friends. During this time I did meet my husband of 30 years (almost 31). We moved to Whidbey Island washington for him to work for his dad and moved in together. After about 3 months we decided to just go to the justice of the piece and get married. Before the move to Washington I was never into fitness, however I was on the run all the time, I stayed within 15 lbs of 150. When we move where I knew no one, and I became a housewife and stayed home most of the time, I started to creep up. Before I knew it when I became pregnant after a year and went to the doc I was at 180. I gained 40 lbs during the pregnancy and never really lost the extra. Breastfeeding made me starved and I ate lol. The next ten years brought 3 more babies, and I ended up at about 210. I stayed there pretty well. After baby #3 my husband hurt his back and was in a chair in the living room for several months. He gained weight which made it worse and the doc put him, and thereby me on the diet.
We both did great, both lost down to our highschool weight. How I have no idea as we didn't exercise just followed a strict 1200 calorie diabetic diet. about a year later I had a hysterectomy and in the months following gained 25 lbs. Then a year later my oldest nearly died and we were at a hospital three hundred miles from home eating as cheap and as we could. We came home with a very sick child who had physical therapy three times a week. I would get everyone up and where they needed to be and drive my son the hospital for treatment and then be hungry and hit up what ever machine I found. -- another 25 lbs. from that 210 I crept and crept till I got on the scale one day and fell over when it said 250. I was horrified
So about four years ago I lost 50 but then the old habbits, fell back in and last December I got on the scale again and there I was at 250 again. I was so down on myself. My husband and I decided to make some changes and last January we started again. I lost 20 lbs between January and May. Then we went on an Alaska Cruise. We never took the elevator but walked the stairs every time. This kept my weight gain to 4 lbs. When we came home we never got back into the swing. Our nightly exercise didnt happen and I struggled without my exercise buddy. I however did lose that 4 lbs again once I joined sparkpeople and since then 3 more. and I learned a few things
I dont need my mother's approval on my weight, my house, my choices nothing
I don't need a exercise buddy. I can get out and walk 2 miles by myself (and do)
I need to count on myself to keep myself going even if no one else in the house does.
I need to get better control of my urges= goal
I need to be able to see cookies in the house without eatting them all =goal
I need to do this for me and no one else!!!