Monday, September 03, 2012
Thanks to everyone who posted their sympathies on my last blog and and on Nicole's page as well. It took me a couple of weeks to come back here and read them because the whole horrible thing has me all choked up STILL. To imagine delivering a beautiful daughter in September, being diagnosed with breast cancer in February, and gone from this earth in August... Well, there really are no words other than what I've already said other than make sure you give yourself a breast exam every month and take any abnormalities seriously.
August was tough for me and I backslid into some bad habits. I'm not going to lie. I ate too much and didn't move enough. I thought summer was going to be easier because I was promised a lot of help with Keira so I could get work done. My grandmother couldn't help it: she had a stroke and can't care for her like she used to, but it still kind of sickens me that my 18-year-old cousin who is able-bodied and wasn't working or doing anything productive this summer and promised to help out totally reneged. Seriously, it was a struggle getting her to keep an eye on Keira when I went to the bathroom, never mind give me any time to get meaningful work done or let me get a workout in...
But summer is over and I'm letting go. There were some great moments, like spending time outdoors with Keira, meeting my SP friend Court, having my best friends from PA and CA come and visit us...
Today is "Back to Labor Day." I have a new part-time job writing and editing immigration content for a legal website and I'm back to my solo practice and actively soliciting new clients again. Keira starts daycare tomorrow for three days a week and I'm simultaneously worried and relieved, if that's even possible. It will give me time to write and work and take care of myself again, but after being the primary caregiver for 8 months, it will be hard to let go.
I'm backing out of my half marathon I planned to run at the end of September, because I struggled to lose weight and break 5 miles this summer. I couldn't handle the additional rigors of a training schedule, sadly. I am still signed up for the Philadelphia Marathon (deferred due to last year's pregnancy) and I'm switching to the half obviously and I'm committed to at least run-walking it. But the focus needs to be on losing weight because I'm not happy with my body and how I feel.
So right now, I pledge to get some activity in every day and to resume eating healthfully, and loftier goals will follow.