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    JOHNTJ1   65,428
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Some Success At Last!!!

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Sunday, September 02, 2012

I lost another Spark friend the other day. I’ve been there myself. You are ready to hit the “delete” button on your account and find some corner to hide in. You are frustrated, you are ashamed, you are scared and most of all you just do not understand why “this thing,” doesn’t work for you. You tell yourself it is time “for a break,” or “time to move on.” I’ve been there, I’ve done that and I proudly possess the scars, wounds and insecurities to prove it.

I started my journey almost three years ago believing that if I ate right and exercised daily I’d look like a cross between Tom Cruise and Matthew McCounaughey. I lost 80 pounds, looked good, felt good. I worked with a personal trainer ran a few 5K’s and life was good. It was after about 6 months that I hit a plateau. I used all the traditional wisdom and nothing seemed to work. That plateau lasted close to two years. Truth be told I regained all the weight I lost because the only logical explanation for my issues were that I was a goof, up, screw up, sort of guy who wasn’t worthy of health. I pushed myself physically to the point where I incurred two moderate to severe injuries. The downward spiral steepened. My dad died in March and I immediately put on 10 pounds. I was right back to where I started.

Jesus tells the story of the Prodigal Son. There is a passage in the story that sees the father looking at the son returning home, “While he was a long way off.” The son, tired and dejected was coming home; hat in hand to ask forgiveness. The father, miles away leapt for joy. In so many ways I am that son. My head would spin, the scale would groan as much as my back and legs did. I felt eons away not realizing I was millimeters close to finding the right combination.

I wouldn’t give up.

I’d like to tell you it was because a few angels appeared in the corner of my office and showed me the light. Plain and simple, at age 59 I want to live a long time. I lost 6 pounds this week. I didn’t do anything spectacular. I discovered what worked well for John, put blinders on to the rest of the world and showed a bit of success. I exercised 30 minutes each day, I stayed within my calorie limits and I took time to “be present,” at least for ten minutes each day. Tomorrow I’ll write a blog on my September goals.

Today I am going to bask in the glow and joy of success. It was a long time coming. My confidence level is high right now. That’s because after 3 long years I do believe, in my heart, my own mantra, “I am worth all the effort I put into myself.”

Don’t give up dear friend. The road may be steep and long but every now and then there is an oasis of enlightenment that makes this journey worthwhile. As Cat Steven once said “Oh I’m on my way I know I am, somewhere not so far from here……”

Namaste
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  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

SCRIPTEDFLIGHT 8/3/2013 2:42PM

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SILLYHP1953 1/30/2013 10:48AM

    Thank you, thank you, thank you for still being here when I came back after a few months hiatus. I hadn't read blogs since July but I started reading today.

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GODDREAMDIVA1 9/14/2012 2:15PM

    emoticon

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SEPTEMBERSPIRIT 9/13/2012 7:12AM

    I've been here for 6 years and hit a 3 year plateau and currently back at that range - struggling to move beyond that barrier again. It's so good to know we're not alone in the journey. And you're right - we sometimes have to put our blinders on and do what works for US. Thanks for sharing your wisdom.

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TERRIJ7 9/12/2012 1:29PM

    Well done, John!

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MYUTMOST4HIM 9/11/2012 8:54AM

    Wonderful encouragement - thanks for being so transparent

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LIVINHEALTHY9 9/9/2012 8:13PM

    Good for you for staying strong and sticking with it.

I am struggling with seeing any results lately and it is frustrating. But, I am not going to give up.

Thanks for sharing your blog.

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JUNETTA2002 9/8/2012 6:49PM

    Good For you. You can do this. Just remember one step at a time.

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KSGROTHE 9/8/2012 2:40PM

    emoticon I've been away for a while myself. I keep telling myself I need to get back on track, and then I don't. I've put back on all the weight I lost + 10 lbs or so. Blech. I sunk into bad habits which I'll have to break again. Inertia makes it hard to get started again.

Thanks for the inspiring blog!

- Karen

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LEANMEAN2 9/8/2012 7:50AM

    Thanks for sharing.

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FOUNDER3 9/7/2012 10:03PM

    Been there, done that, have ALL of the Tshirts.

Since coming to Spark People about 4 1/2 years ago, I have been working on putting all of that behind me, (well, there is enough behind me already, but you get the idea).

I have up days, down days, up periods of time, and down periods of time. The only thing that has been consistent is coming to Spark People even during the really down times.

I did have a period of time when I could not use the computer because of back issues, but even then I tried to get here at least a couple of days a week.

Stories like yours, keep me grounded, keep me going.

Learning to love myself, and let go of the old negative messages has helped a lot.

Living one day at a time, one small change at a time, has made it all so much more manageable

I know something about how you feel. At least I think I do

Congratulations on bringing yourself back, and recommitting yourself to this journey. The rewards are great emotionally, mentally and physically.

I am so happy that you are here. This is the place to be, don't 'cha know!

emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon

I know you can do it, one day at a time.

Bonnie

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EFFRAYECHILDE 9/7/2012 8:33PM

    emoticon

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GOPINTOS 9/7/2012 6:40PM

    Congrats on the 6! Weight loss is a crazy deal. Ups and downs. Just keep doing the right things, and the weight loss will come. For me, that is limiting my carbs, moderate proteins, high fats. When that quits working, I will try some other combo :)

Best of luck to you!

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XENATHOMAS 9/7/2012 6:06PM

    Namaste

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TRUCKERSMRS 9/7/2012 1:17PM

    Thank you for such an inspiring blog. We are all worth the effort - we just need to remember it at times.
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YULLABELLE 9/7/2012 12:16PM

    emoticon

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VOLLEYGIRL77 9/7/2012 11:41AM

    Awesome blog! Thanks for the supporting words :)

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LINDA! 9/7/2012 9:51AM

    Great blog! emoticon

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TRUCKERWIFE2 9/7/2012 9:45AM

    Congrats! Keep up the good work! emoticon emoticon

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MTREFRY 9/7/2012 9:03AM

    Thank you for sharing your trials with us! You are an inspiration emoticon

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ROUNDTOWNMOM 9/7/2012 8:54AM

    You are inspiring me today when I need it most. I've not regained every ounce I've lost, but I've regained 9 lbs I didn't ever hope to gain back. Thanks for this.........and thanks for not giving up on yourself!!!!

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NESSY759 9/7/2012 8:30AM

    good job on not giving up. you can do this

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WENDENANNIE 9/7/2012 12:53AM

    Good for you dear Spark friend!

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RAINBOWMF 9/7/2012 12:14AM

    emoticon blog. emoticon

Mary

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CORINA-MOMOF4 9/6/2012 11:43PM

    great blog! You can do it!!

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FATHINSN 9/6/2012 11:37PM

    Don't ever give up! Let's us support each other through ups and downs!

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MOMKAT4310 9/6/2012 10:15PM

    Awesome. Sorry for the loss of your father. Glad you decided to stick with SparkPeople even when on the plateau. And congrats.

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TXGRANDMA 9/6/2012 10:08PM

    Great Blog! So many of us have been where you were, but are still here, trying every day to improve! If we can just get one little thing at a time going our way, then put it all together, eventually (that is the key word here!) we will get where we are going!
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ONLYTEMPORARY 9/6/2012 9:25PM

    emoticon

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CLUMBOY 9/6/2012 9:22PM

    wonderful blog. way to go! all the best to you.

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SPEEDY143 9/6/2012 8:44PM

    emoticon YOU are worth all the effort and your SparkFriends are encouraged by your struggles because we are all human and have..... "Been there, done that!!!!" Spark On John and emoticon on the first of many 6 pound losses on your journey to better health emoticon emoticon

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DONNAJZ4241 9/6/2012 8:37PM

    What a wonderful blog. I know exactly how you feel. It will be 2 years in October since I have joined Spark and I have struggled consistently in the past year. Every day I wake up with the best intensions...telling myself today will be the day. Sometimes I get through a day or two or maybe even 3 if I'm lucky. Then my luck runs out and I am back in the same situation...wonderful when something will "click" so I can be on my way to a healthy me. Thank you for sharing your story with us. It is stories like this that give me the courage to keep trying. Good luck in your journey!

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LOLAJO54 9/6/2012 8:16PM

    oh wow started reading this blog and it hit home big time.. I am people like this I know people like this ...

“I am worth all the effort I put into myself.”
love this

thank you

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CKAYTHOMAS 9/6/2012 7:44PM

    emoticon
Never give up.

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NASFKAB 9/6/2012 7:06PM

  thoughtful great blog asusual

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KACEYSW 9/6/2012 7:04PM

    Thank you for the encouragement. Sometimes that wall seems so daunting!

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JULIA1154 9/6/2012 4:46PM

  Thank you, John. We all need to be reminded of the need to a) persevere and b) find our own path and stick with what works for us. You did so, eloquently.

(I'm sorry for the loss of your father, John. I'm sure he must have been very proud of you.)

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YAFENELRA 9/6/2012 4:15PM

    It is a long struggle but with Sparks it can be done.

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PRAIRIECROCUS 9/6/2012 3:34PM

    Good for you !
Congratulations !
emoticon for the inspiration !

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ALBERTAROSE57 9/6/2012 3:30PM

    oops, posted twice, sorry.

Comment edited on: 9/6/2012 3:30:55 PM

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ALBERTAROSE57 9/6/2012 3:27PM

    They say that messages will come when you need them the most, from the most unlikely sources. I was giving up this week, today actually. Tonight is the weekly weigh in, and with a dismal 6 weeks behind me - was ready to say wth??? I have only started my journey (again), and 6 weeks in and 14 pounds down am frustrated. I've tracked until I can track no more :P I've been so faithful of making sure I get a balance in my diet. I have ADHD, so exercise is never a problem - I just don't sit still. I have trouble not looking at the 80 pounds ahead of me, and the commitment to stick it out for as long as it takes is daunting. My knees groan, my back aches - and I have very little patience with myself. It's very comforting to know that this is quite a "normal" feeling that others have gone through. Thank you :)

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MAMAOWLS 9/6/2012 2:58PM

    Thank you for writing this it could almost be my story except that I've only put on 10 pounds. I know I just need to rededicate my self to me and I can finish the journey I started almost 2 1/2 years ago. Thanks for reminding me that I am in control and I can do it. emoticon

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GENEALOGYGAL 9/6/2012 2:00PM

    Thank you so much for writing these wonderful words of encouragement and success. The road we are on can be very hard and very treacherous at times. So happy you discovered your way back. Total success is just around each bend. You ARE worth every effort! (I say this with sweat, dripping hair and a tummy that is growling...and after all the hard work and staying on track...actually gained .8 today...haha...how in the world is that even possible?). I refuse to give up. We are so worth it.
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Comment edited on: 9/6/2012 3:02:07 PM

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LOGOULD 9/6/2012 1:14PM

    SO happy for you John. It is harder to stick with the program the further along you go, and maintenance is a BEAST! I hate the word maintenance because it sounds like so much stagnation.....and then the slippery slope to putting it all back on. I managed to catch myself at a 10-15 pound gain and am almost halfway to taking it back off. Let me tell ya, it's harder this tine around, but I am beginning to realize how good it really feels - not going there again! Way to stick with it!!!

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JIBBIE49 9/6/2012 12:58PM

    emoticon What an honor to see your blog featured in the Spark Mail. emoticon

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JLLOVETT 9/6/2012 12:07PM

    What a powerful, inspiring story of SUCCESS!! emoticon Day by day, step by step, that is what I keep telling myself.. Congrats on your mental override!!

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KIARARAMIREZ 9/6/2012 11:58AM

    Thank you for that, I woke up feeling like everything I'm doing is for nothing. After reading your blog, I feel much better and very encouraged. I'm not doing it for nothing, I'm worth it! You are an inspiration, I hope you know that. God bless you

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SPIRIT42013 9/6/2012 11:56AM

    Thanks?, John!! I won't! And if I do, I hope someone will b**** slap me! Take care, and read what you wrote here OFTEN! emoticon

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WALKSINLIGHT 9/6/2012 11:28AM

    Awesome ! Congratulations ! emoticon Thanks for Sharing
and Dinja - just think, if you are losing/gaining the same 2 pounds, you are not putting on weight anymore so you have definitely started journeying on the right road - hang in there !
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GINA180847 9/6/2012 11:26AM

    Good for you John, the job is much harder for some of us than others. Be it mind clutter, stinkin thinkin, whatever, as long as we do not give up we are still in the game.

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