Saturday, September 01, 2012
I am 50 years old and have lost and gained weight repeatedly over the years. The most recent was 2 years ago when I lost 92 pounds. I have gained back 60. I turned a blind eye to the weight gain, not sure why. My wake up calls?
1. We had an odd chilly day a few weeks ago and I tried to put on my jeans. They didn't fit.
2. Went out to eat with my son and almost didn't fit into the booth.
3. Got back my son's wedding pictures from the end of July and I was as big as two people stapled together. Seriously. I measured myself with my fingers and yep, I am as wide as two people. I sat there at my computer feeling the tears come up, but I was so mad at myself that they didn't fall.
So, I decided that was enough. I started the very next day eating 1500 calories a day and walking. At first I walked a mile everyday. Tonight I walked a mile and a half.
Things I hate:
all my clothes don't fit right, I don't care how big they are. when I stand up from sitting down I have to not only heave myself up, but I have to rearrange my clothing.
I am reduced to wearing a much smaller amount of clothes since I have grown out of my new, smaller sizes I got 2 years ago
bathroom stalls. It's easier to use the wheelchair stalls again.
I have a roll of fat on the back of my neck!
I notice I am very careful where I sit again. No lawn chairs, white plastic chairs, wicker, ends of benches
people look at me different
Everything is HARD--rolling over in bed, getting up from sitting down, especially from low couches and chairs and believe me all of them seem so low anymore, going up and down stairs, I just FEEL heavy
catching a glimpse of myself in a mirror and hating it, just hating my reflection so much
Stuff I look forward to:
being able to wear a belt and it looks GOOD
lots of energy
running--actually running a couple of miles a day, running up and down stairs, running out to the car for something I forgot, running through the rain because I forgot my umbrella instead of walking slooowly and getting drenched, running to catch my dog that got off the leash, running to catch a frisbee
cute clothes that look good on me
fitting everywhere: bathroom stalls, restaurant booths and chairs, car seat belts, airplanes without a seatbelt extender and having people hate sitting next to me because I am so big, movie theater seats, amusement park rides, little cars
looking at myself in a full length mirror and LIKING what I see
So now I am on Day 6 and at first I set myself some pretty stinking rigid rules but I have modified them to these:
sweets only if they fit into my calorie budget for the day--hey I gotta have my chocolate
one meal a week that I don't count my calories. Not permission to 'blow my diet' or 'I deserve this' but because I want to go to sonic and have cheese sticks and chicken and not have to starve the rest of the day
I am walking every day.
I guess I really didn't introduce myself completely. I am 50 years old, married for 31 years, have 8 children and 1 grandbaby. I love to read, play the piano, sing, cook, and I have played world of warcraft for 7 years. Gotta love that online gaming.
Oh and I broke my ankle and sprained my other foot and knee 6 weeks ago so i am recovering from that. Fun fun.