Today I went through every closet, every drawer and anything size 28 or 26 I tried on and none of them fit. I made a huge pile of clothes that will be taken to Resale shop I found recently that specializes in Women Plus Size Clothes.

I did find a lot of size 22-24 that fit or were a little loose. I now have a new wardrobe that should last me till I get into 18-20. Uhhhh my hands are shaking typing size 18-20. is it possible that I can actually be a size 20-22 by my Birthday in February? I am also really nervous to think about getting rid of the size 26-28 clothes. When you are that size finding professional clothes that fit a 5'-3" woman is tough.

Okay, I'm going to say it...what if I gain it all back like I have so many times before. So many times have I lost close to 30 lbs to quit and gain it all back in a year. I feel different, but I've said that before, I've said this is a lifestyle change before.

HOW DO I KNOW THAT THIS TIME IS DIFFERENT?
I have learned how to cook healthy (still learning) and I am doing 100X more cooking.
I plan meals for the week and cook at least two things that I can warm up
I now do the grocery shopping so that I control what comes into the house
My grocery cart is 1/3 full of produce
I only eat out with my husband 1X every couple weeks
I take my lunch and snacks almost every day.
I have spent a lot of researching and trying healthy substitutes for things I love to eat.
I now eat at least 3 servings of fruits or veggies
I watch my sodium and look at my feet to notice the impact when I have had too much.
I have now been on this program for about 75 days. Never stuck with anything past 45days
I consistently drink 8 glasses of water or more. Never ever did I do this for even 2 days
I can allow my self a splurge but eat less than half of what I would have
I think before I put food in my mouth...maybe too much
I can pretty easily walk past the candy jars and sweets at work (because if I really need it I have a stash of 150 calorie treats in my desk drawer)
I use my sleep apnea CPAC as much as I can. Got through the whole night last night!
I track my food everyday

I haven't lost any weight in two weeks. 32 lbs, 14.5 inches. I am afraid this is all I will lose, but that's the negative head speak that I am still working on. Every time I blog It causes me to really be honest with myself and notice the real changes I have made. I have seen so many people who have successfully done this through Spark. It doesn't happen in a day. I expect the majority of this weight to take a couple of years.

If I get rid of these clothes that is a sign of my commitment. Can I really do that? Can I say that I will never ever be a size 26-28 again? I'm afraid.