In Ten Years… which path will I choose? (THE NEGATIVE)


If in ten years I continue to gain weight until I’m 100 pounds heavier or more…

MY SON…

I would not be able to get up and play with my son very well. I’d have trouble bending over to pick things up, or catching my son if he fell off a structure or swing. I guess since in ten years he’ll be in middle school, it might not be that big of an issue, but knowing that I couldn’t be mobile like I want to be… it would kill little pieces inside me… He’d probably also pick up some of my eating habits, since I learned mine from my family as well.

BREATHING…

Breathing will become an issue. I have asthma now, but it will get worse. I may even have multiple attacks a day. If I were to lie down on my back, I would have trouble getting enough air, since its difficult even now sometimes.

SLEEP…

My bed would be uncomfortable since I would barely be able to fit on it. I have a single mattress and will for a while unless mattresses and bedframes become free… or they break down so much, it’d be impossible to salvage them.

WALKING AROUND…

Walking through campus and up and down stairs will become almost impossible for me. Currently I get out of breath if I don’t take at least one break while in between classes. I would also barely make it out of my driveway since I live at the bottom of an incline. Getting the mail, which is at the top of that hill, will exhaust me to no end.

OVERALL HEALTH…

The muscles in my back are constantly giving me problems. With the added weight, I will be in constant pain. I will probably live off of advil or tylenol, and heating pads. My muscles in general, being weak, will pull and strain easily. My flexibility will be long gone and I’ll constantly be stiff and uncomfortable.

Heart disease, Diabetes, High blood pressure, Liver and Kidney issues cover all sides of my family. If I were to add on a hundred pounds, there would be no denying the fact I would have one, if not all of these medical problems. I would be living off of pills, like many of my relatives.

CLOTHES…

All the clothes I’ve saved, all the ones I fit into now, will all be worthless. I would wear clothes at the end of the plus size line, and I would have to really hunt to find something that fit me right. I’m one of those shoppers that unless I’m 100% sure I love it, I won’t buy it. That would either have to change or my wardrobe would have to be cut in half, which means I’d have maybe two or three outfits for work/school, and a couple for around the house. That makes a lot more laundry days.




So in summary, I think I would be very unhappy with my life. I’d be depressed, I’d feel very anit-social, and feel abundances of guilt to my son. I’d be especially upset that I let it get that far, and didn’t do anything about it. I’d be uncomfortable in my own body. The negatives would pull me in, I’d have a lot of difficulty finding my way back out.

This is just what I think might happen for me, in the worst case scenario, excluding early death. I am mostly just guessing based on my own personality and medical/personal history. This is not the path I would choose, for me or my son.



............................
..........................
..........................
..........................
.......................


In Ten Years… which path will I choose? (THE POSITIVE)


If in ten years I lose the weight until I’m 100 pounds lighter or more…

MY SON…

My son and I would be able to do more things together over the years to come. I may not always be “super mom” or even someone who resembles that, but I know that I’ll be able to keep up with him more. There will be more oppurtunities for me to share with him, things like walking around a zoo, or standing up during one of his games. I could be a role model for him. He would also be eating healthier foods which will give him more energy to learn and grow.

MY HEALTH…

Even weighing less doesn’t exempt me from the possible string of health risks I harbor, but it does help. I could avoid them for a longer time, and maybe even all together if I get more active and eat right. Before I gained all this weight, I didn’t have any asthma attacks, I could breath well and sleeping wasn’t too much of an issue. I didn’t sweat a ton, and I had healthier hair than I do now. It’d be nice to be able to have all those things again.

ENERGY…

The last episode of excercise and healthy eating I had, my energy levels rose quite a bit. When I was 80 pounds lighter, I felt like another person. I walked everywhere, and didn’t even break much of a sweat. I loved the tranquility of the walks. Now I can barely get myself up to do anything physical at all… even just sitting on the couch makes me want to doze off. It doesn’t matter how much sleep I get the night before.

MORE ADVENTURES…

I remember how much easier it was for me do things. It still took effort for me to walk long distance and dance, but I remember how free my body felt compared to now. I dream of going hiking up a mountain, to go biking on a dirt trail that runs along the river. Walking through theme parks wouldn’t be as daunting and if I wanted to I could maybe join a club volleyball team with some effort. I’ve always wanted to do a marathon just once… for a good cause with a few friends. Just being a healthy weight, I feel that many more paths and oppurtunities would be open to me.

CLOTHES…

My leather jacket in the back of my closet would be able to be worn again. I got it right before I got pregnant, so I only wore it a few times… it still looks brand new. I have to large storage bags filled with clothes, my short shorts, my skinny jeans and tubes tops. Even my old swim suit, a halter tankini I wore just once. My style of clothing has changed over the last two or three years, but most of them I’d still wear now if I could. Being a healthier weight brings a lot more clothing choices for me.

OVERALL OUTLOOK ON LIFE…

I feel like I would be happier. I know that life wouldn’t be perfect, or even close with a healthier weight. I’d still have stress from family, school and life in general. My own self-image would not change much if I didn’t work on it. But being healthier would give me more freedom and it’d make living life in general, easier. I’d have a bit more confidence. I might even get a lot more done if I were to have a lot more energy. I think just knowing I accomplished my goals, would be enough to push me for more. If I could reach this goal, what else could I accomplish?

A short summary: this is the path I’d choose…