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Friday, August 31, 2012

This day has been surreal to say the least. Pretty tough to describe the atmosphere at work, then add in the presence of security guards and it was a tad tense and certainly distracting. Safety was a prime concern. Not safety from them, but safety on the job. Having your mind elsewhere can get you sent home in a bag.

I'm glad this day is over.

I took a vacation day tomorrow for the race.

There was not a temp agreement made but there was an agreement to keep working under the old contract on a 48 hr basis until something gives with the stipulation that if we strike or they decide to lock us out, there will be a 48 hr notice given. Well, at least there won't be any surprises.

I am currently thankful for the now. For now I have a job. For now, there is a calm, at least for me. For now, this is all that matters. I will try not to worry about what will happen 48 hrs from now, it is too much for me and I am already on overload. Frankly, I can't take it. Like others have said, I have done all that I can reasonably do. I was smart. I saved and prepared the best I could without making my family live in a bunker.

This has always been the chink in my armor. To those that think I am fearless, guess again. My biggest problem is fear of the unknown, uncertainty, unemployment. It always makes me feel like I'm on death row and my fate is totally in the hands of another. It's one thing for me to screw up, be irresponsible and bring on my own problems, I can take it like a man. However, when someone forces hardship on me and I suffer through no fault of my own, I have a real issue with that.

I guess I have a real problem when I am no longer in control, I feel helpless and powerless to stop my demise.

Although my emotions are all over the place, I fall back on what I wrote in my blog series sometime back. I practice what I preach and it will be harder than hell to do so. I will practice response-ability. The ability to choose my response. I can see the handwriting on the wall and how easy it is to spin out of control emotionally so therefore, rather than start down that slippery slope, I will forcefully steer my vessel in the right direction rather than letting the winds of emotion blow me into the rocks. It is just that simple. There is no other option.

Any amateur can steer a boat when it is glass calm but it is the storms that forge the sailor...

I haven't really prepped for this race too much so I am not expecting a dazzling performance. Rather, I am going to simply just go for an enjoyable run, feel the vibe of the race. No worries on finishing, i got this... Run, walk, boogie, break dance, or what ever combo I come up with, I'll finish.
-btw... I can't dance so I'll have to make it up as I go....I won't be pretty though :)
..do the "worm"?...Ugh..don't go there..for your own safety lol...

Tally ho, off to packet pick up.

I'm gonna run and forget about all of this crap, it isn't worthy of my attention right now.
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  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

PENOWOK 9/1/2012 1:41PM

    I guess by this hour, your race is done. I hope it brought some calm to your mind and fun in this time of stress. Wile the physical race was probably a really good one, the race at work is not so comfortable. I am praying that the union settles with a plan that is agreeable to both sides. Sometimes I wonder if they realize what is in the best interest of the masses...and sometimes the solution is right in front of everyone. I am praying for simple, easy and satisfactory!

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KRISUA 9/1/2012 1:36PM

    emoticon

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JUNEAU2010 9/1/2012 1:04PM

    I hope the race gives you some clarity of thought about what you're going through, time to burn off some energy and have a wonderful day!

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BARBARASDIET 9/1/2012 12:56PM

    emoticon

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LIVELYGIRL2 9/1/2012 12:56PM

  The run is a great distraction.I hope you can work out some of that frustration. emoticon

Your actually precessing it well. Hang in there. emoticon

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NIKKIJ55 9/1/2012 12:43PM

    Best of luck to you

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LAFFWITHLINDA 9/1/2012 12:31PM

    Good luck!

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SABLENESS 9/1/2012 12:18PM

    I hope your run is a good release. Carpe diem, whatever it holds.

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KDYLOSE 9/1/2012 12:03PM

    I'm not what most would call a religious person, but I do have a basic faith that things will probably turn out okay if you try your best. And by best I don't mean that you're perfect, but rather that you just show up and try and are normally human. Things usually work out.

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TBOGENER 9/1/2012 11:56AM

    If I may preach, I think it is safe to say regardless of religious preference or no preference (if there is no God then indeed the person holds his own futrue). When facked with lifes uncertainess I calmly say, I don't know what the future holds but I know who holds my future. God bless,T

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PIXIEMOM13 9/1/2012 11:43AM

    Best of luck Robert!

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LDMCNIEL 9/1/2012 11:36AM

    emoticon

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WOWGIRL51 9/1/2012 11:35AM

    emoticon

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GRAMPIAN 9/1/2012 11:34AM

  emoticon

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DIANNEMT 9/1/2012 11:30AM

    It is SO tough to not be in control--and things like jobs make it feel really tough. You will get through this--hang in there.

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LYNCHD05 9/1/2012 11:23AM

    Thanks for the blog. Your attitude is inspiring.

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CESPRINGALL 9/1/2012 11:18AM

  I try to live by a similar motto. "You can't control people's actions, only your reactions to them." It sounded so simple 30 years ago when I first heard it. I still have trouble sometimes with my reactions. But you are right. Deep breathing and letting the emotions go is the only way. Good for you!!!

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JOHNMARTINMILES 9/1/2012 11:09AM

    Get through each day for this too shall pass.

make today a great day!

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KATHY_NATURELVR 9/1/2012 11:03AM

    I have a 5K mud run coming up next month and my training has been non-existent the last month. I really need to get back to training but stress has me not wanting to, I expect I'll be doing a walk/jog the best I can...Best of luck on your run.

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NEWCHINELO 9/1/2012 11:01AM

    emoticon

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CAM2438 9/1/2012 11:00AM

    emoticon

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DNRAE1 9/1/2012 10:47AM

    Control what you can, and let the rest go! Easier said than done, but try. Bless you and enjoy your run!!!! emoticon

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SHOAPIE 9/1/2012 10:43AM

    emoticon

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AROSSER- 9/1/2012 10:13AM

    Your response-ability and positive attitude - very inspiring! Best of luck : )

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123ELAINE456 9/1/2012 10:06AM

  Turn all of it over to God and let Him take care of it. Do what you can do and the rest just let it go. So Sorry You are having to go through this. Things like this is no fun. Hope you have an Enjoyable Fun Race today. You Can Do It. God Bless You and Have a Wonderful Week.

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SASSYLJB 9/1/2012 10:05AM

    betchayou have one of your best times ever running out the stress!

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FITWITHIN 9/1/2012 9:57AM

    Enjoy the moment as it happen. Have a great race and weekend. emoticon

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TEACHEROF4TH 9/1/2012 9:55AM

    Keep your positive attitude going! Good luck with your race!

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MANILUS 9/1/2012 9:47AM

    Some things are out of our control and you are right about not letting it provoke an emotional reaction. Hope you enjoy the race!!

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BLACK741 9/1/2012 9:46AM

    so sorry for what you are going through, i have been there and know that it is a tough place to be. Now working for a 1/3 less that I was making 15 years ago, but able to pay the bills and get by so that counts for a lot. Good luck on the race, will be a great time to just enjoy the world and get your brain wrapped around something good.

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GINGERVISTA 9/1/2012 9:39AM

    Sorry for what you're currently going through. Things are tough, I know. Moving back from TX to IL, it took me over 2 years to find a job; had wanted full-time w/benefits, but settled on the only job offered of p-t at minimum wage.
You'll be in my thoughts.....not only for your work situation, but for your race. At least you'll have that as a distraction. emoticon

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GOOSIEMOON 9/1/2012 9:37AM

    Hang in there! Hope your run settles your mind a bit.

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KIPPER15 9/1/2012 9:33AM

    Job tension is the pits. I have lived through "the Michigan Syndrome" of over a year of unemployment. Unfortunately, I ate my way through it. I found Spark people when I got a job and had to get it back together. My thoughts and prayers are with you. emoticon Good luck with the race. emoticon

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BLOOMING52 9/1/2012 9:27AM

    Good luck.

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BECCA315 9/1/2012 9:22AM

    Response-ability: what a great concept! Being responsible for what we do, what we say, what we eat...

Becca

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LIGHTNINGRUNNER 9/1/2012 9:21AM

    Robert good luck on your race - you are smart to let it go - right now you have done all and you have no control if or not that make an agreement. Crossing fingers for the best of news about your race and job.

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MARITIMER3 9/1/2012 9:17AM

    It's a horrible feeling to know that someone else can take away your job, and with it a lot of your lifestyle. I know because I've been there. I hope everything works out well for you, but in the meantime, try to divert your thoughts as much as you can. You've done what you can to affect the outcome.

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LAURIE5658 9/1/2012 9:11AM

    Robert, during the entire year of 2011 and in to 2012 Jim and I lived a Hell that was owrk related that we never want to experience again. Things worked out beautifully and we made it through with the help of God. Have faith...true faith...that all will work out. The road is not easy as it is full of potholes but in the end you will be stronger.

Have a great run today and with each footfall may your heart grow lighter.

emoticon

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PENNYPACKER3 9/1/2012 9:04AM

    emoticon

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LIMIG2 9/1/2012 9:04AM

    You are a go getter you will get the job done.

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MARY19512 9/1/2012 9:01AM

    Hope that the race is a good one and that you shed your fears with every step. Your fears are real but you are handling them in an amazing way. Your blog inspire me! emoticon

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TEACHING1ST 9/1/2012 9:00AM

    I love your response-ability response! You always have such great insight. Good luck with the race and know you're not alone at all with the worries about the future. It's such a scary time and yet we all have to deal with it to the best of our abilities. I hope your situation works out in your best interests.

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NANCYHOME247 9/1/2012 8:54AM

    My husband and I have had somework-related up's and down's, also. Is it a false memory I have of our parents and grandparents having job security? Companies that thought of their employees like family. Pensions waiting when they retired.

Well, I think most of us don't have that security or confidence anymore, and it's a sad state of affairs.

So, Godspeed on your race! Enjoy the good times, press through the not-so-wonderful! Life has a way of working out.

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MIMIDOT 9/1/2012 8:48AM

    Good luck! Keep sparking!

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WINE4GIRL 9/1/2012 8:48AM

    Good luck on the race! you've probably run it by now.
"I will practice response-ability" are probably the most profound words I've read in a long time. Thank you for that! I had to reinvent my (job) life when an accident forced me to lose control.. I had to depend on others. I think it changed me for the better. You never know what comes of change until much later.
Good luck and God bless!

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JENNAAW 9/1/2012 8:47AM

    Your situation is being repeated in every state in this country. Keep your incredible attitude and spirit!

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PURPLELVR7 9/1/2012 8:44AM

    Said a prayer for your job situation, trust God he is in control

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LSIG14 9/1/2012 8:42AM

  The "let go of the future and live in the now" will carry you through. When you are able to stop obsessing over the "might be's", you're better able to cope with what is! Best wishes for your race and your job situation. You'll do fine!!!!


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STHAX10 9/1/2012 8:37AM

    emoticon

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JILLIEWILLIE1 9/1/2012 8:30AM

    Uncertainty can be very stressful! I am glad you have such a fantastic exercise routine and race to keep the bulk of the stress at bay. emoticon

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