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Friday, August 31, 2012

This day has been surreal to say the least. Pretty tough to describe the atmosphere at work, then add in the presence of security guards and it was a tad tense and certainly distracting. Safety was a prime concern. Not safety from them, but safety on the job. Having your mind elsewhere can get you sent home in a bag.

I'm glad this day is over.

I took a vacation day tomorrow for the race.

There was not a temp agreement made but there was an agreement to keep working under the old contract on a 48 hr basis until something gives with the stipulation that if we strike or they decide to lock us out, there will be a 48 hr notice given. Well, at least there won't be any surprises.

I am currently thankful for the now. For now I have a job. For now, there is a calm, at least for me. For now, this is all that matters. I will try not to worry about what will happen 48 hrs from now, it is too much for me and I am already on overload. Frankly, I can't take it. Like others have said, I have done all that I can reasonably do. I was smart. I saved and prepared the best I could without making my family live in a bunker.

This has always been the chink in my armor. To those that think I am fearless, guess again. My biggest problem is fear of the unknown, uncertainty, unemployment. It always makes me feel like I'm on death row and my fate is totally in the hands of another. It's one thing for me to screw up, be irresponsible and bring on my own problems, I can take it like a man. However, when someone forces hardship on me and I suffer through no fault of my own, I have a real issue with that.

I guess I have a real problem when I am no longer in control, I feel helpless and powerless to stop my demise.

Although my emotions are all over the place, I fall back on what I wrote in my blog series sometime back. I practice what I preach and it will be harder than hell to do so. I will practice response-ability. The ability to choose my response. I can see the handwriting on the wall and how easy it is to spin out of control emotionally so therefore, rather than start down that slippery slope, I will forcefully steer my vessel in the right direction rather than letting the winds of emotion blow me into the rocks. It is just that simple. There is no other option.

Any amateur can steer a boat when it is glass calm but it is the storms that forge the sailor...

I haven't really prepped for this race too much so I am not expecting a dazzling performance. Rather, I am going to simply just go for an enjoyable run, feel the vibe of the race. No worries on finishing, i got this... Run, walk, boogie, break dance, or what ever combo I come up with, I'll finish.
-btw... I can't dance so I'll have to make it up as I go....I won't be pretty though :)
..do the "worm"?...Ugh..don't go there..for your own safety lol...

Tally ho, off to packet pick up.

I'm gonna run and forget about all of this crap, it isn't worthy of my attention right now.
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  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

SHERYL_B 9/2/2012 10:36AM

    Good luck. At least you are being realistic and not hiding under a rock!

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VICTUS_GIRLANYA 9/2/2012 8:10AM

    emoticon

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ANNARUTH2 9/2/2012 8:03AM

    Sounds like you will be a winner no matter how you came out in the race! emoticon

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THEIS58 9/2/2012 7:58AM

    Thanks for your reality check in!

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THETROUT 9/2/2012 7:52AM

    I hope you enjoyed your race.

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SATCHMO99 9/2/2012 6:57AM

    Others may have control of the circumstances but only you can control your attitude to circumstances. Great job that you were able to prepare a little financially to give you some breathing space.

Hope you had a great run, perhaps you were able to channel your frustration into it? Running always calms me down, I hope it does for you too.

I believe that God opens a door of opportunity at exactly the right time, but rarely announces it beforehand.

Wishing you peace in the midst of turmoil.





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LEANMEAN2 9/2/2012 6:33AM

    Congrats and thank you for sharing

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EVILYNP 9/2/2012 4:18AM

  keep on keeping on

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ROCKYCPA 9/2/2012 12:07AM

    Hope the race went well and you are in a better place!

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MRFUZZ 9/1/2012 11:55PM

    Praying that this job stress will soon be over. In my heart,I know you will be ok. You're tough, now. Mentally and physically. This, too, shall pass. You can get through this. Good luck on the race. emoticon

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LOLAJO54 9/1/2012 11:36PM

    I did not read about what is or isn't going on but think I know how you feel when you don't have control of your life.

Breathe and enjoy your run --or I at least hope you did.. as I am sure the run is over and I just bet you did great ..

now move forward first stop- breathe then move with control



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BLUEJEAN99 9/1/2012 10:49PM

    emoticon emoticon

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BANNERMAN 9/1/2012 10:02PM

  Best wishes on the race and on the outcome at your work.

God Bless.

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CRAFTEME 9/1/2012 9:52PM

    What will be, will be and there is not much we can do about it! Great attitute! Good luck, both with the job and the run!

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FRANCES-AGAPE 9/1/2012 9:36PM

    emoticon

emoticon

BLESSINGS!

emoticon emoticon
emoticon emoticon


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PATRICIAANN46 9/1/2012 9:25PM

  There is nothing like exercise to help you relax and calm down. Good luck with the race. You certainly have the right attitude. emoticon

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SUSHENO 9/1/2012 9:23PM

    Wow. You have a way with words. Truly enjoyable to read this blog. Ever thought about writing professionally or getting paid to blog?

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JAMER123 9/1/2012 9:15PM

    emoticon emoticon Best wishes on your race!!
You will do well no matter you time. Enjoy it as you can!! emoticon emoticon

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CYPATAYLOR2 9/1/2012 9:04PM

  Good luck on your race. It should be a stress release for you. Think of the race and let everything else behind. You will do great. You will conquer!!!! ! emoticon

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L1ZB3TH354 9/1/2012 8:56PM

    emoticon

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LISA_FRAME 9/1/2012 8:44PM

  emoticon

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CORINA-MOMOF4 9/1/2012 8:42PM

    Hope it went great today... off to read your update from today :)

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MARYJEANSL 9/1/2012 8:12PM

  I hope the run went well - and I especially hope that the running helped a bit with your stress.

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CHERYLSBUTT 9/1/2012 8:07PM

    Run baby run!!!
You own that race!

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ANGELWENDYMAMA 9/1/2012 7:46PM

    Control what you CAN.. that's all. Hugs!

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CAROL6X 9/1/2012 7:39PM

    Running and exercising does get rid of the stress. You can do it!!! take one day at a time and deal with it. emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon

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LYNDALOVES2HIKE 9/1/2012 7:21PM

    I've fallen behind on blogs so just now getting caught up. It's a really tough situation but you shouldn't feel guilty or bad about not 'saving every cent' for such a situation. Yes, it's good to have savings and Suzy Orman says we need 6 months salary in emergency savings minimum - but my guess is that most people don't have that type of cash sitting around 'just in case' something happens.

And the truth is that 'something' can happen at any minute - but it usually doesn't. If you are not going crazy with spending, you really SHOULD enjoy a few things to make life worthwhile. You really deserve your new bike and no matter what decisions we make, there's always another path we 'could have taken' but I don't think it's productive to always worry about 'what if.'

I hope you have a great run today - hope everything turns out well for you on the job - and please don't beat yourself up over 'what might ahve been' because who knows what would have been the outcome on the path not chosen.
emoticon emoticon

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FORBANDE 9/1/2012 7:19PM

    emoticon

Enjoy the race. Enjoy your day. The problems will be there tomorrow. For today, you run and celebrate how far you've come.



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SANDYLH1 9/1/2012 7:14PM

  emoticon

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KNITCAT1 9/1/2012 6:44PM

    Know that there are folks thinking good thoughts for you. Take care. Enjoy your run.

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PEGGYO 9/1/2012 6:26PM

    keep on keeping on

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ALDEBARANIAN 9/1/2012 6:05PM

    running burns stress as well as calories

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KNEEMAKER 9/1/2012 5:50PM

  emoticon

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DUXGRL1 9/1/2012 5:29PM

    I'm just catching up on blogs from this week. It sounds like you have had a very rough time and I feel for you, I worry about those things too, being out of control, unemployment, etc. But do not beat yourself up for spending extra time with your family instead of working or getting your bike. I spent many years being a workaholic and it never really paid off...years from now you will have no regrets. I hope things work out in the long run and just concentrate on now, like you said.

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CONNIEKANDOIT 9/1/2012 4:52PM

    emoticon A great post and so very appreciated that you shared.

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IAMAGEMLOVER 9/1/2012 4:01PM

    emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon You have it in the bag. Like you said, run walk or dance you will finish. Good luck.

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CICELY360 9/1/2012 3:56PM

  good blog

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CLREYES55 9/1/2012 3:55PM

    Great attitude to have with all that is going on for you right now...I would have a difficult time with this. Good luck with the race and let us know how well you did.
emoticon

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SPIRIT42013 9/1/2012 3:54PM

    When grreat athletes falter, their coaches whisper, ":Remember your strength." REMEMBER YOUR STRENGTH, ROBERT! Remember your strength! And be kind, take care of your body! Keep the faith! emoticon

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WENDENANNIE 9/1/2012 3:39PM

    Good for you honey! I completely understand the fear of the unknown that you are facing. I too just faced unemployment, but where one door was shut, God opened another one and I have put my trust in Him to take care of me......much easier said than done, but it has relieved a lot of the pressure. Take care of yourself and your family first and worry about the rest later. Take care my friend....I'll keep you in my prayers.

emoticon Wendy

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HEARTS116 9/1/2012 3:36PM

    emoticon

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TONYVAND1 9/1/2012 3:25PM

  emoticon emoticon

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MCFITZ2 9/1/2012 3:20PM

    Admire your decision to focus on what you can do and let the rest blow around you.

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SMOULINIER 9/1/2012 2:59PM

  I remember so many years ago when a strike was looming overhead. Our union was not able to negotiate what they thought we deserved so the strike occurred. Fortunately/unfortunately I was laid up with a twisted ankle at the time so I didn't have to deal with it directly. By the time I got back to work (3 days later), the strike was over and the Union was able to negotiate the most important aspects of the new contract. Anything that allows you to decompress from stress is a good thing. KUDOS to you! emoticon

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LINDAKAY228 9/1/2012 2:48PM

    Our financial security can throw us so much when something theatens it. Glad there is at least some type of plan even if on a 48 hour basis. Hope the race went well and you just got out and enjoyed the moment.

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NESARIAN 9/1/2012 2:10PM

    emoticon
With your winning attitude and preparedness, you have done what you can. The rest is not worth worrying about as you have zero control over it anyway.
Race on, Brother, race on!

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JERICHO1991 9/1/2012 2:02PM

    Exercise is one of the best reliefs from life's stresses I have. Enjoy the run, and let the anxiousness flow away from you.

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HUNGRYWOMAN2 9/1/2012 1:58PM

    Being able to enjoy the moment is key to really living. Focus on that race,and have a fantastic time! emoticon
As for all the other, when things are out of my control I often use "The Serenity Prayer"
As a sort of mantra. You will come through this stronger, and in a much better place.
Looking forward to an update. emoticon
Best wishes.

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LOGOULD 9/1/2012 1:49PM

    Looking forward to hearing about your race. Hope it gives you some peace and a little more clarity about the work situation. Seems to be the season for employment upheaval. Thank goodness that we have our healthy living focus to distract us from the craziness. Enjoy your race - you DO CONTROL THAT! Best wishes on the job front.

Comment edited on: 9/1/2012 1:49:57 PM

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LESLIE56 9/1/2012 1:44PM

    I hope that you had a good run. emoticon Bless you, and take care.

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