Friday, August 31, 2012
It seems for the past couple of weeks I have really fallen into the doldrums. Yep the blues just took up residence in my life and would not leave me alone. So I have tried to figure out what is going on with me besides *real life* stuff which we all have that to deal with.
After thinking about everything that had or has changed in my life over the past month I came to the conclusing that one of the big things was...........................
....my name change on here.
For years (3/07 is when I joined SP) I have been NIMAWEYGH. Most call me Nims, Nimsy, Nimmie, Nimmers or Nimmykins but the all relate back to NIMAWEYGH. I use this name on other sites that I am on as well and have used it for years. It was the name of my most favorite dog. She is who I dedicated my first published poem to because it was about her.
So when I changed my user name on here to my real name Karlas-korner I thought it was the right thing to do. Now in reflection it really was just something I thought I should do but in reality it was a BIG MISTAKE. I thought I was hiding behind NIMAWEYGH and not being my ture self but one cannot be seperated from the other and one is not a shield to hide behind but a banner to be waved.
I am Karla but I am also Nimaweygh. One in the same. One is more serious (yep you guessed it Karla is) and one is more playful, upbeat, funny..................yep Nimaweygh. So how can you split a person in two and expect what you try to be.........to be whole. It can't be done.
So NIMAWEYGH is back to stay. She never really left those that love her the best. Yes they tried to call me Karla but it did not suit me like Nimsy does and so in the back of thier minds I remained Nimsy or Nims. To those sisters of my heart................YES YOU KNOW ME BEST.
The second thing that has me a bit off kilter is the fact that I chose to sit this round of the BLC 20(Biggest Loser Challenge Round 20) out after being in it since round 14. I feel like I am missing something wonderful and exciting. Like I am trying to tell myself that I need a break, I need to sit this one out, I need....................I need...................to stop lieing to myself and find a way to get in on the wonderful support, motivation, inspiration that is the BLC and connect with the women and make more friendships that last the test of time.
So now that I have corrected one mistake it is time to find a way if possible to correct the other one and get back to my funny, fun loving self.
These things I do just for me because I am worth it.