I read a blog by OLIVIANIGHT today and in it was a quote by her boyfriend. He was trying to give her a compliment and it went totally awry.

That reminded me of a series of comments I've gotten over the years that - well - just missed the mark. Starting with last night and my own poor dear husband.

I went to the doctor yesterday because my lupus and arthritis have been flaring so badly that I can barely walk without pain. Add to that, I have developed a nerve condition in my legs so I can't keep my legs still at night and end up "sleeping" on the couch so I won't disturb him. This has resulted in me getting about 2 hours of sleep a night. On top of a lack of sleep, I'm struggling to find a job in this new town we moved to.

I'm pretty much a physical and emotional wreck.

Anyhoo... as I'm telling him what the doc put me on to help with the pain and leg issue, he was listening very intently. (Joe is kind of intense anyway, so when I say 'intently' - I mean INTENTLY.) He asked all the appropriate questions like what are the side effects, what to do if I'm allergic, yada yada yada.

And then he said ... wait for it....

"And did she give you anything for your mood swings?"

Excuse me??? My MOOD SWINGS???? WHAT MOOD SWINGS???? WHO THE HELL HAS MOOD SWINGS????
(ba-waaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhh)

Oh - you mean those.
Well, no, as a matter of fact, she didn't.

He felt so bad. He couldn't backtrack fast enough. He was in full reverse Scooby-doo mode that I just started laughing and was trying to make him feel better.
(Um - that would be mood swing #3 I guess.)

But that one pales in comparison to the litany of WTF? comments and such over the years. Here are my some of my favorites:

1. Opened a package from husband #1 with sexy lingerie in it. The underwear said "extra grande." (he was ex-husband not long after)

2. Boyfriend brought me a single red rose - without the rose on it. I got a thorny stick.

3. Came down from my room to go out and mom said "is THAT what you're wearing?" Nope - my REAL outfit is still upstairs.

4. At my wedding to my wonderful Joe (and reason I've started SP) - Niece: Did Aunt Tina gain weight? Mom: she is a little heavier now. Sister: yes - she has gained quite a bit. (hey - anyone want to comment on the big white-ish WEDDING DRESS I'm wearing???)

5. I got in the mail this week a flier for anti-wrinkle cream. Someone hand wrote on it: Hey Tina - you should try this. It really works!! (no one signed it so I can't open up a can of whoop A** for that.)

And this got me to wondering. What are some of your favorite foot in the mouth moments? Either given or received? And how gracefully, or not, did you respond?

Me - I'm totally graceless. I have a snark-bone a mile wide (just in case you didn't notice.)