From the end of May until the end of July I had awesome weight loss and strength advancements. My thyroid finally got jump started and I lost 10 pounds. In August I gained back 6 of them. Yep, not happy about that at all but I am not going to dwell on it.
I have 4 major goals to meet in the next 5 months.
First, I want to lose enough weight to be either at 200 pounds OR more preferable in Onederland by December 1st. This won't take a miracle (though I could sure use one!), but it will take more work, stamina, strength, determination, will power, and dedication than I have ever put forth in my entire life. I won't be allowed to cut myself ANY slack in training, eating, or discipline. Period.
Why December 1st? Because I want to complete my next goal with a lot more strength and stamina than I have right now. On December 1st I am participating in the Dirty Girl Mud Run which is a 5k with lots of crazy, climbing, crawling, dodging, wet, muddy obstacles interspersed along the route. I fully expect my team mates on the San Antonio Spark team to assist me with some of the obstacles, and I will help them as much as I am able, but I don't want to be TOTALLY dependent on anyone in order to really fully participate. I need help, but I don't want to be the extra weight they have to drag along, you know?
The third goal happens on January 12th when we walk as a team to complete 13.1 miles in our San Antonio 13.1 Half Sparkathon. We've trained all year for this. I'm still the slowest walker, even slower most of the time than my sister who has neuropathy in her legs and feet and cannot feel the ground beneath her, though she keeps pushing forward with determination to finish. We are up to 6 miles each Saturday right now and will add in miles ever week or so up until event day. It's so difficult for me, but it is also so important to me to do this. I WILL do this.
Not to sound like Debbie-Downer, Woe is Me, Poor Poor Pitiful Me...really, but these two events are of the utmost importance to me and doing my best and doing fairly well at them has so much meaning to me. My pulmonary doctor is all for it, though he is cautiously optimistic that I will be able to do it. My primary doctor says, "Go for it, I'm proud of you!". My pain management doctor and my rheumatologist are fearful for me. They encourage me to keep moving and to be relatively active...but with strong limitations. They both worry I will damage my already weak and inflamed joints, my degenerating lumbar spine area, my feet which I keep having stress injury problems with. My sweet pain mgt doctor can barely believe I am able to walk 6 miles and doesn't see how on earth my back and feet will allow me to do more than double that. But I have to, you see. If my conditions are worsening, as the doctors say they are, then this very well may be my last chance to do something of this magnitude physically. I don't want to live out my life wondering if I could have done it, longing for the chance I didn't take. If I don't do this now I probably won't ever do anything remotely this challenging again in my life. Now or never. If I further damage this body doing it, so be it. I can take the physical pain much easier than I can take the idea of not going for it.
A lot of people don't like tattoos. I've never been a HUGE fan of them either. But I want a permanent, never going to go away commemoration of my success. My fourth and final goal is to have a tattoo between my shoulder blades in honor of both the Dirty Girl and the Half Sparkathon after I complete them. It will be a variation of my red-headed warrior woman seen below. She embodies the way I feel inside - fierce, proud, strong. She is also beautiful and totally female. She represents my soul. I just need someone to tweak a few aspects of her to make her more "my own" before I get the tattoo.
Beneath her feet (I have to have those shoes on her changed, hate them!) will be the words: 13.1 MILES 1-12-13
When they dress me at the nursing home years from now I want to hear the nurses and attendants say, "DAMN! Granny here was a Beast!"
Anyway, that's what I'm up to and up against. If you hear any pity party whiny noises from me in the next few months, you have my permission to smack me down hard and fast. Feel free to remind me of my own words: NEVER GIVE UP, NEVER GIVE IN!