Where oh where did my motivation go?
Thursday, August 30, 2012
Motivation is a funny thing. When you feel as if you've 'got it', you're rolling along and your journey can seem fairly smooth. But when you've lost it, you can feel stuck, frozen in place, unable to move forward. Not only did I fall off of the wagon, but it's rolled over me, and I've been stuck for awhile now. Falling off of the wagon is something that I thought would never, and I mean NEVER happen again. Boy, was I wrong!
I thought that I finally 'got it' about making myself, and especially my health a priority. Wrong again! It was a gradual thing as I slowly started moving myself further down my priority list. Suddenly I was missing workouts and not staying on track with my food choices. I was skipping breakfast and sometimes lunch, eating a late dinner, and then dropping into bed. Any wonder why the weight started to pile on and I felt like a SLUG! Stress became my new companion, along with it's evil cousins - insomnia, migraines, and teeth grinding. The more pressed for time I felt, the less I took care of myself. Huge mistake!
We're not on this journey living in a bubble. Life happens and you're sometimes thrown a curveball from time to time. It's how you handle the challenges in life, WHILE taking care of yourself - that's the lesson. If this was a test, I know that I've failed. But it's okay because I learned from it. I see everything as a learning experience, and I think that now I'm a bit more aware of ducking when a curveball is headed my way. Stress is no longer my daily companion - I've kicked it to the curb!
So here I am, starting over - yet again. I beat myself up about this for most of the last year, feeling defeated. What a total waste of time and energy. Trying to get my motivation back has been tougher than I thought it would be. I've learned that I can't just sit here stuck, waiting for my motivation to find me, as if it would magically reappear. It hasn't! It's up to me. I realize that I alone am responsible for every choice I make. Therefore, today I choose to make a new priority list, one that my health and well being are at the top of. I choose to recommit to this journey - not tomorrow, or on Monday, but TODAY!