Isaac made landfall in the wee hours of this morning. I have a few friends and aquaintences in NOLA and Baton Rouge areas and was able to check in with them via text and/or FB this morning. They are all doing ok, one of the girls that I worked 'with' before the big changeover at work happened still has power and the only damage so far is to the fence at her home.
My first husbands mother lives in Florida and I found out that when the power went out there when Isaac came through, she tripped in the dark and broke her hand. Hoping she heals quickly.
I am glad that that is the extent of damage sustained so far to some of the people in my life. I am keeping the rest of the area in my thoughts and prayers and hoping that Isaac gets unstuck and moves along and dissipates quickly.

Meanwhile in Lafayette, we haven't seen much at all...and being myself, I am more worried about the day off work that I had today than having to drive in the rain. I get paid hourly, which means of course that, if I don't work, I don't get paid. We are trying to keep afloat of the bills only on my paychecks. I am just hoping that my son's first full paycheck will be enough to pay his rent this month. My beau has not yet gotten paid from his new job and it will be a few weeks before he builds up enough commission to get a really good check. I did drive to work this morning to see if anyone showed up...as things are this week, I am at a standstill with what I can do until the sales manager gets a couple of reports done for me to be able to move my paperwork along. I came home this morning because no one was at work...in fact, pretty much no one was out on the road at all today! And we didn't even get any weather today!
Not that I want weather, but it stresses me to miss work right now with as stretched as my paychecks are.
I am going in tomorrow even if no one shows up. If I have to sit there for 8 hours and twiddle my thumbs, so be it. One of the things they told us with the new company was that the drivers have a 30 hour guaranteed pay...and they said that even if for whatever reason they can't drive on a certain day....if they show up to work, they get paid.
If I can't get my paperwork done tomorrow, I can go in and clean up the office, there is sweeping and mopping and vacuuming to be done!

Today feels like such a waste of a day, since I moved my jogging day up, today was an off day. I did get my laundry done and cleaned up my kitchen, but other than that, I slept....pretty much all day. I think I laid down on the sofa at 12 or 1 and didn't get up until 5 or so.
I think part of it was because I have been stressed out lately and not sleeping well at all at night, but part of it was because I was bored. I never know quite what to do with myself when I am not at work!

Oh! On my jogging yesterday....
After I got ready to go and stretched out and put my shoes on, I noticed that my feet, ankles, and knee were all actually pain-free all at the same time...weird.
We went out and jogged 4 intervals at 60 seconds each because I decided to restart my c25k program. When my Nike app told me that I hit one mile, it also gave me a pace of 18'41 per mile.

Right after that, it was time for my cooldown walk.... evidently, I slowed down a LOT because I ended up with a pace of 19'13 for the whole walk.


After we got home and I was stretching out, the endorphins hit back and I cried, then I got upset because I want so badly for my times to improve and realized that I was thinking that I was slow because of the pains in my knee/ankles/feet...but what I was feeling when I was jogging this time was MY WEIGHT! Even though I have dropped 21 pounds and my jeans are hanging off of me, I am STILL 289 pounds. I thought that dropping 20 pounds would make it a lot easier, but all I have found so far is that I still have a LONG way to go!

Don't get me wrong, I KNOW that I have accomplished a LOT, and I KNOW that it was hard work and I am PROUD of myself for what I have done so far.
Although I will eventually dig my smaller clothes out, right now I am loving the feeling of my jeans bagging and wrinkling up around my waist, groin, and thighs, because it is a constant reminder of what I have already done!

My beau keeps telling me that if I don't want to keep up with the jogging, that its ok, we can stick with the gym and the pool...But I DO want it, I have dreams of running. I don't know what has changed in me, why this is something that I not only want, but its something that I need. I don't know why, it just is and if I don't keep at it....I don't know, I'm scared to NOT do this, I am afraid of failing myself, of letting myself down.

All I know is that whatever it was that changed in my mind, in my way of thinking, happened around the same time that my beau begged me to please work on my stress levels and to start venting my stresses and aggravations before it killed me.

While I might not know how much time I have left, none of us know for sure...if my time comes tomorrow, I want to go fighting.
I'm fighting to regain mobility.
Fighting to not be a prisoner in my own body, a slave to my aches and pains.
Fighting against what I physically cannot do right now.
Fighting to be a better example.
Fighting to give my beau and my family and friends the best possible 'Me' that I can give to them.
Fighting for what I want.
Fighting for what I need.
Fighting for what I DESERVE.