This inspiration for this blog is SP member Nataligenz who is wearing the MOST adorable dress in her picture. She was kind enough to tell me where she got it (Anthropologie) and warned me that the prices online would make my eyes pop out of my head (and that just sounds uncomfortable).
Being properly forewarned about potential eye poppage, I went onto the sight, and sure enough -
HOLY S&%#!!! - are they freaking kidding?
OK - undeterred, I went to ebay and there were 192 Anthropolgie dresses for sale. Ha! I will not be thwarted.
The dress isn't there. Pretty quick thwart.
But I found cute dress after cute dress. See??
Crap. Size 0-2. Double thwart.
In fact, the only thing I found in my size looks like a hold over from the Soviet era.
Nothing makes a girl feel pretty like a drab gray dress with a little black belt. I wonder if it comes with a hair net?
But now I'm really concerned. 192 pages of size 0-2 dresses? What happened to these girls? Were they walking down the street one day and - POOF - they vaporized and nothing was left but their dresses on the sidewalk?
Or did they become a negative size and then disappear? Hmmm.... Are their families selling the clothes because - well - they can't see them? (And what about their shoes? I could use a new pair of shoes.)
WARNING: rant ahead.
And how can anyone be a size zero? Zero (or naught as my English friend always says) is "a cardinal number indicating the absence of any or all units under consideration." I'm considering then that the dress doesn't really exist.
Further, in mathematics, zero is "an argument at which the value of a function vanishes." See - they just...vanished.
I also kind of like this: "one having no influence or importance, a noneity." As in "the person who invented the size zero is a zero."
And why do the size zero girls get the cute, colorful clothes and the size 12s get gray? Oh wait - maybe it is a reverse camoflage deal here. Bright colors deter the oncoming hefer in the gray bubushka from bumping into them and causing some kind of catastrophic injury....
I feel like I need to send out a search party for all the size zero girls out there. Or start a telethon and take up a collection for them. Maybe we could have sandwiches ready so when we found them, we could feed them enough that they hit a size that actually exists. If we put mayo on it, the calories could easily push them over into a size 1, couldn't it??
Of course, then they might want their shoes back....