Tuesday, August 28, 2012
Thought I needed to write and hope this makes me feel better.
Shortly after mom's passing my husband tells me I have to move. This recession has hit us. Rex has been in and out of jobs for 4 years now. We were able to keep afloat hanging on our life jackets. Well with my surgery, shingles and looking after my mom, I lost about 3 months of work. Since I work for myself there was no employment insurance and no income. Ouch.
So he had this great Idea that we sell our house and move. Didn't like it but understood. So he tossed it back and forth and could not make a decision. As I run a small daycare it was important to me to have an ending date. The parents of my charges need to get a replacement child care giver. (Apparently I am hard to replace)
So stupid me told him it is now or never. I could not live with my roller coaster of emotions each time he brought it up. So our house went up for sale and it sold in less then 2 weeks. Now we had to find a place to live in 7 weeks. We went looking in several towns. Looked at many houses and not one of them I could call home.
So Erica, my daughter said why not Niagara Falls Ontario. She is going to graduate school there this year. We thought we would never be able to afford it. Who wants to live in a tourist town? Not me for one. So we looked around a little, then some more. I think we spent a total of 12 days going back and forth, looking for a home. In those 12 days we never came across tourist traffic in July and August. So the long and short of it is we are moving tomorrow to Niagara Falls Ontario.
Sounds like an easy transition. The truth is I don't want to go. There are many reasons. One being my father. We will be 3.5 hours away from him if DH drives. For me to get there it will take close to 6 hours. Number two reason is I don't do highway driving. I will have to take the back roads. My father is not a well man. He always said it took the tree of them to make one healthy person. (Mom, dad & Uncle Bill) Now mom is gone it is only the 2 of them. Dad is the brains, Uncle bill the mussels and mom the cook and the nagger that got things done.
Third reason would be my daycare. I love my kids. My daycare has become my Identity. It is where I am at my best. . Going to the schools picking up and dropping off my daycare kids for 16 years has made me a big part of my community. A sense of belonging and being needed.
I don't want to talk about my weight. I have not got on the scales. but I am sure I must be up to 250 lbs. I was in onederland a year ago. My stress level high, my motivation very low.
So right now I suppose to packing up my computer desk. The last thing to be packed up. I don't even know what brought me to my spark page. I guess I had to write what I was feeling. Is funny that when I am at my worst and my best I always come to my spark page. I feel it comforting. Wish I came daily when all this stuff was going on. Maybe I would have been able to face these life changes with a better frame of mind.
So here goes yet another phase of my life. A new adventure! I know I should be feeling like I should be putting on bright color tights and a supper hero cape to fly bravely to the unknown. to go where no man has gone before. Except the 14 million visitors Niagara falls gets each year.
So as I am typing this I am counting my blessings. I have many. I guess I should be saying Look out Niagara Jo is coming to town.