Monday, August 27, 2012
I have been doing some thinking lately and I wish that I had a place where I can go to be alone without my family bothering me all the time, A place where I can think and be free to be myself. I don't want to fear anything ever again and I don't want to be called a failure because I have failed at everything I have ever tried to do before and I know how it feels to be alone and unwanted by the ones you love.
I was talking to Lila the other day and I felt at ease when I was talking to her because she made me see that my life is worth fighting for and that if I want my goal to succeed that I cant let anyone put me done and that means my family because I need them to behind me on my journey instead of against me. I feel so alone right now that it bothers me to think that I am going to failure again. I hate being alone in a major journey in my life like this and I know that I can't turn to my family for support.
I fear failure and I know that when I fail I will just stop this journey and I don't want to stop so I am going to start this journey with my head held high and think of just myself and not my family. I am going to start tomorrow by eating a good breakfast then doing some laundry then going for a much needed walk so that I can clear my head of all the bad thoughts that I am holding in because it will drive me mad if I dont get away by myself for about an hour or so.