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Feeling a little lost because something is missing. . .

Monday, August 27, 2012

I started SP on 2008 ... 8/31/08, to be exact. I was looking for some 'help' in my weight loss/fitness goals. It was right after my birthday - ... and I wanted to/needed to lose some weight and get fit. I actually came across this site quite by accident and decided to give it a try. Even though I signed up on 8/31/08 , didn't really 'begin' my SparkJourney until 9/28/08 (right after the Labor Day holiday).

I had great success with SparkPeople - I lost about 24 lbs. all together. I had lost weight and gained some again - but ... I actually did the best when I found the 5% Challenge Teams. The group that I was placed with became known as 'The Firecrackers'. We were AWESOME. We chatted with each other, supported each other and became really good 'cyber friends'. They were my support team . . . they were constantly with my on this journey. The Firecrackers would celebrate with me when there were things to celebrate and would even lift me up when things weren't going so well. We were there for each other for the good times and the bad ... cheered for each other when one of us reached a goal; checked in with each other when someone was MIA for a few days ... sent get well wishes when one of us were ill/going through tests, etc. and sent words of sympathy when a team mate suffered a loss. The friendship and motivation that this group shared was really very special.

However, not unlike real life ... the challenges have changed. They still have AWESOME weekly challenges to help you with lifestyle changes ... they have wonderful team mates to help you stay motivated ... there are still some old friendships and I actually have made new friends along the way . . . but I'm not sure what is 'missing' for me.

Actually, if I'm REALLY honest with myself, the 'missing' ingredient is ME! The obvious thing is that out of the 24 lbs. I originally wanted to lose, I have managed to pack on some more lbs again and now I have 10-14 lbs. to lose. I really, REALLY want to get a handle on this 'funk' that I seem to be in ... I really need to find my way back to eating healthier and I need to find my way back to taking good care of me!

I know what I need to do ... I need to focus AND re-commit. I know this because these are some of the things that I have learned on my SparkJourney. I need to find a way to bring that 'missing ingredient' (ME!) back to the 'party' ... I know that once I focus and re-commit, I'll be back on track ... back on this healthy lifestyle journey.
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  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

1BEACHWALKER 9/15/2012 8:49PM

    I have SAD (Seasonal Affective Disorder) and it can get ahold of me when seasons change and it has hit me now. I feel like a bear that is wanting to go into hybernation-want to sleep all the time, eat all the time and heaven forbid if anything stressful comes along- I can hardly handle it! I get impatient, lose focus and really don't care sometimes. But like you, I am not about to give up!!!
SP is my safe haven, so to speak...when I read blogs like yours, I can see I am not the only one who struggles and yet keeps going! We are only failures if we quit! So, keep your chin up and keep focused! You are doing what you need to do and soon, it will hit you again-that spark! We all have ups and downs on this journey-so don't be too hard on yourself! emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon

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JERSEYGIRL24 8/31/2012 12:02PM

    Heidi,

I hear you, girl!!! I have had my ups and downs. However, I have lost 20 lbs (much of it previously regained) over the past year, and I credit it all to the BLC challenge. I know you have been talking to Taty about this. Yes, it is closed, but if you could possibly still get on a waiting list for the next round. You will probably have NO choice of teams, but it might be worth it. Most people love their BLC team. You could change teams for the next round if anything. If you are interested, please send a sparkmail to Nicole (FITLIKENIC) and see what she can do (BTW she is a former Firecracker, and it is because of her comments on the Firecracker thread that I joined the BLC). Invitations will probably go out in about a week, and there probably will be some people who will decide not to participate even before the challenge starts. It is an excellent challenge.

Jen's post gave me an idea. Maybe we can get some of the old Firecrackers back and rekindle the spark (in more ways than one). I moved to the Spirited Underdogs, but it is just not the same. They do much better than the Firecracker's in the standings, but I seriously miss the feel and support of the old Firecracker team. But the Firecrackers have changed so much that I have not had a strong urge to return.

I was seriously not planning to return to the 5% challenge because I have felt for about a year that maybe it is not the best thing for me. However, truth be told, the 5% challenge is not that time-intensive for me, and I feel that my exercise would help the team. If we could somehow rope some of the old firecrackers back into the loop, then I would love to be part of it!!

In the meantime, you are wise to try to spark again on a regular basis.

Miss you, my friend and fellow Jersey girl!!

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JENGRAMMER 8/30/2012 6:39PM

    Heidi

Ditto to what everyone has said.
I too have had a very hard time lately.
Mine is mostly sparked (pun intended) by health issues which I blame my binges on--but I have been able to maintain my weight loss by alternating binges and extreme dieting (not bulemia but just food intake alternation). I get a migraine for 4 days and binge on chocolate, then when it subsides I behave and get real with my eating and do ok for a couple of weeks.
BUT - I've really really lost that initial Spark I had when we were - Hmmm - what were we? -- Overload Campers or some such group? - then we became an official team and took the name of FIRECRACKERS - YAY. We were a vital bombastic group as you recall who supported each other as you say.
I too miss that group and NEED support.
WHAT TO DO? Could we all get back into the Firecrackers and do what we know we need to do???? I'm not sure .
WHAT'S THE ANSWER???
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Comment edited on: 8/30/2012 6:40:46 PM

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MTNGRL 8/29/2012 8:21PM

    Heidi, I can relate. I joined August 2006. Made some really good friends, lost some weight and was really motivated.
Then the flame went out. I've gained it all back, stopped tracking, exercising and Sparking. Life threw a few curve balls but even when it didn't I was striking out.
I am ready to get back in the game.
You sound like you had an ah ha moment too and are ready again to go on the journey. Bravo!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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JAXMOMMY 8/28/2012 6:04PM

    Heidi-- I think many of us know how you feel. I do hope you won't give up on the 5% challenges altogether, but if you need to find another team to try, then try it. I miss some of the Firecrackers I started out with and I think they helped keep me motivated. I'm in a bit of a Spark funk myself. I just don't want to put forth the effort. I know that is wrong, but it is how I feel! Blog more! It really helps me to get a grip on whatever is going on and I need that Spark support that we all love so dearly! Happy Spark Anniversary (real soon)! And, Happy Belated Birthday!! Sorry! I was so focused on school going back I missed it!

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IMAGINE_IT 8/28/2012 3:11PM

    It can be easy to lose focus along the way....so don't feel bad Heidi...the most important thing is that you are still here...and that means a lot! I have been there too.....a few times i wanted to just stop exercising....stop worrying about how many calories..is this healthy...does this have too much sodium...etc..etc...but Spark is 'inside of me now' and for me 'healthy and feeling fit' is a 'MUST' and that is one of the main reasons i am staying...of course Spark friends like you are another important reason i stick around emoticon emoticon
I think you may have to 'shop' around until you find another team that fits your needs at this time....or another thought...maybe try to cut soemthing out of your busy schedule...so you can have a little more time for yourself? Just a suggestion...i know it is very difficult to find 'Me' time.....but it is worth a try.....i am here for you if you need to chat....or vent....or need Support...or a kick in the booty emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon

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BONNIEBELLE2 8/28/2012 1:02PM

    I joined SP in September of 2007 and really loved the site and lost 42 lbs. Then I started losing my spark and eventually just quit logging on. I came and went for a while and during my absence I managed to put back on almost all of the weight lost. I am only recently back to SP with renewed motivation. Hang in there! Do whatever it takes to get your spark back! We can do it!

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CHRISPYLEE 8/27/2012 9:21PM

    I really DO know how you feel! I had totally lost my Spark for a while and wondered if i would ever get it back.....sigh.......i hope you can get a handle on this 'funk' sooner rather than later! I gained over 30 lbs. that i had originally lost with Spark people, but i have my focus back and I will not give up!! YOU dont give up either my friend!! I never missed a day logging in.....crazy as it sounds i wonder if that snafu a while back when the site was down and you lost your log in streak messed with your head?? Just a thought.....If so then YOU SHOW THEM and get that streak back and start a couple more new streaks!!
Anyway, keep logging in everyday and hopefully soon you will find your Spark again!!
I am rooting for you girl!! emoticon emoticon
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