Will I ever find that Key?
Monday, August 27, 2012
Staring at the food tracker this morning... realizing what I really need to do right now is journal...
I've been tracking my food for at least a couple of years now. Too bad it wasn't "magical", and could take off my extra weight by the very act of doing it! I've been exercising as well, and thank goodness there is that improvement in fitness to cheer me up when I can't seem to lose weight.
Every once in awhile I just feel so sick and tired of putting those same pounds back on again and again and again. It's been YEARS! Truly amazing though, how many various strategies I've come up with, to try and succeed *this* time... But I'm running out of strategies, and getting tired of them... really starting to wonder "What's the use!" Instead of asking the question "what's the missing link?" It's like there's a Key *somewhere*, if only I could find it.
Often, I just tell myself that if I was ever to stop trying, "imagine how much worse/fatter I'd be..."; and "It keeps me humble, to realize I have no willpower" etc.
I have some friends who belong to a group called "Food Addicts Anonymous" or something like that. But their strategy is to practically eat nothing, and weird foods, and they're both single. I realized recently that I have to stop blaming my family for tempting me to overeat, but it would be awfully hard to have to make separate meals!
I just love my food. As far as "emotional eating", it's the emotion of "happiness" I suppose--all those seasonal treats are SO enjoyable! It's really hard to eat such a tiny portion of them... (and yes, I do belong to the "seasonal" group.)
Ah well, journaling about it is perhaps something I should do more often, especially when I'm feeling like this! The buddy idea I haven't done very well with either... I find it hard to get to know strangers online... My husband SAYS he's going to diet, then goes off of it--OFTEN!
Well, guess I'll head back to the Nutrition Tracking... plug away, no matter how useless it seems!