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changing my thought process aka the devil on my shoulder

Sunday, August 26, 2012

I am not sure if it is my thought process or just figuring out how to get the devil off my shoulder, or if they are one in the same. My motivation has been hard to find lately and then the doc says not to do whatever I do that aggravates the now diagnosed tendinitis in my knee. I had it my head all week I was going to go back to the gym Saturday morning, but I don't know of a single machine that I could use, I can't even use the cardio machines because they bother my knee, ugh! So I don't go back for two more weeks. Oddly enough walking around the block doesn't bother my knee so until today (didn't feel good) I have been doing that at least. The darn devil is totally messing with my head though! I tell myself not to eat this or that and I need to exercise to get to where I want to be on the scale not to mention how I want to feel but something keeps interfering with my damn mojo and the only thing I can think of is the darn devil emoticon I felt so down when I gained 5lbs in one week but I couldn't get out of my funk no matter what I said I couldn't get going and do the right thing...I eventually dragged myself and the following week I didn't budge! You would think this would have given me motivation but NO! This week I still don't want to eat the right things and I still don't want to work out, even though I know I need to do these things to get back to where I want to the losing zone emoticon
Right now I am chewing gum so I don't munch on things I don't need to be consuming. I think I may turn the Wii on and see how old it thinks I am today but I still don't want to. I figured the longer I did this weight loss thing the easier it would be to get motivated and the bad thought process that got me into this mess would eventually be gone. I have heard it takes 21 days to break a habit, I am beginning to think that is all it will do break the habit pattern, until something triggers it to come back and the devil comes back.
If I could just pay all my bills I wouldn't have stress and I think that is what keeps hindering my progress...stress!
If anyone has any ideas I would love to hear them, BUT DON'T tell me to remember how I feel when I am on a good roll it isn't working right now! (and pissing me off even more)


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