HOSPITAL CHART BLOOPERS(Actual writings from hospital charts)

1. The patient refused autopsy

2. The patient has no previous history of suicides

3. Patients has left white blood cells at another hospital

4. She has no rigors or shaking chills, but her husband states she was very hot in bed last night

5. Patient has chest pain if she lies on her left side for over a year

6. On the second day the knee was better and on the third day it disappeared

7. The patient is tearful and crying constantly. She also appears to be depressed

8. The patient has been depressed since she began seeing me in 1993

9. Discharge status: Alive but without permission

10. Healthy appearing decrepit 66-year old male, mentally alert but forgetful

11. Patient had waffles for breakfast and anorexia for lunch

12. She is numb from her toes down

13. While in ER, she was examined, x-rated and sent home

14. The skin was moist and dry

15. Occasional, constant infrequent headaches

16. Patient was alert and unresponsive

17. Rectal examination revealed a normal size thyroid

18. She state that she had been constipated for most of her life, until she got a divorce

19. I saw your patient today, who is still under our car for physical therapy

20. Examination of genitalia reveals that he is circus sized

21. The lab test indicated abnormal lover function

22. Skin: somewhat pale but present

23. The pelvic exam will be done later on the floor

24. Patient has two teenage children, but no other abnormalities