Sunday, August 26, 2012
In life memories, misunderstandings, losses, and changes can always be good or bad. Yesterday I had a DO DROP BY party, as a memorial for my son. Several of his friends came throughout the day as well as some family, and some of my friends. People came to see the changes in our home that we did in honoring my son. He has a memorial garden now and a final resting place in the newly remodeled upstairs, His place is in the foyer. The first thing that I see every morning is his smile and brown eyes beaming.
In the last year I have maintained my weight loss and continue to exercise. Now I am read to move forward again. I started this weight loss journey for two reasons: 1) for me-better health, and 2) so I could enjoy grandchildren when they came. There will be no grandchildren now. God works in mysterious ways however. I have been given 3 children that will call me grandma from my children in Christ. I am healthy enough to enjoy them. I know my son smiles on this.
Now I want to talk about how memories, misunderstandings, losses and changes negative effects can be turned into positive outcomes. Memories of my son's youth and the joys that he brought to me when we visited vacation sites or played in the yard, inspire me to continue to strive for health. I know that I will have those opportunities again with other children. As a public health nurse I helped many families with their children over the years. Some of those parents continue to share their children's life's and accomplishment with me. Some of them even share their children. Some of the children I visited have had children and they share them with me. I need to stay health for them.
Misunderstandings with others are a natural process in building relationships. It is important that we learn from these understandings and take the concept that we learn by our mistakes(yes ours, because in any relationship there is two sides to the story. Maybe a third- my side, your side and the real side. ) Misunderstandings arise for many reasons. Not hearing correctly, not stating correctly, no clarifying, not coming to a mutual agreement. Even if it is an agreement to disagree. Misunderstandings occur because of our upbringing and things we viewed as children and misunderstood the reasons for in our development into adults. Some of these images and our reactions plague us well into our adult lives. I think this is when we develop the habit of eating to soothe our minds and comfort our souls.
Losses occur with people moving in and out of our lives. They move in and out again for multiple reasons. Their lives take a different pattern because of things they are exposed to that we are not. These losses and the reactions change us and how we respond to life. Some eat, some drink, some do drugs, and some just break from reality all together. For me and many I know the drug of choice was food. It is the most acceptable drug or was in years gone by. Now it is changing, because some people think that obesity can be changed by restriction of foods, not by the holistic approach to life's stress's as it should be. In America, it is the bandaid approach to everything. I am sorry there is no bandaid fix for a lifetime of hurt, ignoring of the need for nurturing and comfort, the need for support, or just the need to feel love. Even food does not fix this. Why? Because it is a much more complicated issue that people want to face. I think this is why diets work for a while, because we are not dealing with our true issues. One needs to look at their actions under a microscope and face their realities. This takes time and may cause some emotional pain. If weight loss is to be a success, I think it is a multifaceted approach that is necessary.
Changes can be for the good or bad. I worked in the government arena for many years. The reason most programs fail is multifold. The solution is not followed through to its conclusion nor its affects on everyone on the chain needed to its success. Some people are not even allowed input into the planning and they end up being the ones having to do most of the physical work. Changes made when something is working is ridiculous, but it happens. Change for change sake is a ludicrous notion. The other thing that is not looked at is the ultimate cost of the change. The cost in dollars, the cost in labor, the cost in the stress, the cost to others when time is spent completing tasks that not enough time is allowed for realistically. The people who make the decisions are not affected, because they are not employing the solution they only say do it. Change in losing weight or getting healthier is all under your control. The problem is people have to know enough about nutrition and recognize that some diets will not fit into their particular lifestyle. For example, the home delivery programs may work but if you have to buy extra on a budget or if you have others to feed on limited income, can you afford the cost to other family members. If it takes use of a special device can you afford the equipment. If it requires gym membership that is costly. In today's economy you have to plan ahead for your exercise program. Where can you walk? Do you have buddy? Can you stick to a video exercise program? Is there a sport you can interact in regularly? I will tell you personally I found that any movement different from normal will add to calories burned. I garden some now. I moved my bedroom upstairs. Examine your lifestyle for active changes.
Remember to learn from your life's memories, misunderstandings, losses and changes. I will meet you on down the road to better health.