Ambivalence, I know you're not my friend
Saturday, August 25, 2012
I am probably the slackest person you know, well sort of know on here anyway.
As laughable as it sounds, I have struggled all week with getting enough calories in. Almost every night I've had to eat two tablespoons of peanut butter just hit the minimum calories on my tracker. and my fat percentage is always low. I am eating 3 meals a day and at least 2 snacks, sometimes 3 but it's work. I have to consciously think about doing it. I go through streaks like this, where I'm not hungry, nothing sounds good and frankly, I just don't care to eat. Like today, it's 3:00 pm and so far I've had a cup of coffee. That's it. Weekdays I do better because of the structure and discipline of getting up and going to work. I'm still up on weekends at the usual time but I tend to wander around and just kind of do whatever. Next thing I know it's 3:00 and I haven't eaten lol.
I am getting pretty close to my what I set as my goal weight. I don't know if it's really my goal weight or not. When I started back on SP in July I just picked a random date and a random weight. Last time I got down to 112 which worked for me. Then after a couple of years of not tracking, working too much and not working out enough I'd gained back up close to 130. As of this morning I'm at 117. I haven't worked out in two weeks. See, more slackerage. I do get a lot of steps in at work, but I don't count that on my exercise tracker. Anyway, even though I know SP won't allow a daily calorie count of less than 1,200, maybe my body is telling me 1,100 is enough. I'll just play it by ear and see how things go.
I just fixed a yummy lunch of roasted pork chop, steamed green beans and a baked potato. Just writing this blog made me go do what I'm supposed to do. I have to try harder to banish my ambivalence.