Saturday, August 25, 2012
I look back at my blogs and I see the spiral out of control... I see the almost 50 lb weight gain. I know the reasons why... Just excuses.. no time, no money, no energy.. I do know one thing. When I lost the ton of weight, I put exercise before everything. Even my kids. I'm not saying that if you have kids you can not exercise. What I am saying is that you need a healthy balance. You see, I was not balancing. For a full year I had no involvement in my children's lives. Homework time... LOL what is that. (That is sad because I'm a teacher) I expected my children to do it by themselves without my help. Well.... they were not ready for that. My lack of involvement in their lives ended up with me HAVING TO TAKE CONTROL THE FOLLOWING YEAR. Things just started to spiral out of control with them. Their academics declined.... behavior...house was a wreck... we were so stressed etc. I do have wonderful children so I wont say the behavior was bad. I was bad....
I used to always tuck them in bed at night and read them 2 stories. I used to make sure they did that 20 minutes of nightly reading, I used to make sure they were involved in things in the community and church...Well my exercise deleted all of that... We were at the gym when we should have been reading.. I was at the gym and my husband was tucking them in, We stopped going to Wednesday night church and Sunday mornings because there was a great spin class during that time. You see how it became? I used to workout early morning and in the evening. From 3-4 hours a day. It became an idol in my life. Until, I had uticaria.. daily hives and edemia for an unknown reasons. I was up to 8 allergy tablets a day and still had hives and swelling. I also ended up in the hospital with some unknown illness and getting a spinal tap.
Laying in the hospital, that's when it hit me.. Maybe it took that to wake me up. The spiral out of control then became 100% focus on my children and no time for me. Slowly the gym stopped because I wanted to be there for my kids. My job year was horrible.... the work stress was non stop. Instead of early morning workouts I was at work at 5 am so I could be with my kids at night. Nights I felt guilty going to the gym. I wanted to cook, clean, do laundry, read to them, take them places, be INVOLVED! Just be the mom that I used to be.
Now here I am almost 50 lbs heavier. Am I mad.. yes! Do I have regrets.. yes! I regret not listening to everyone who said slow and steady. I think If I really listened to that, when I hit bumps in the road it would have been o.k. I learned a lot from this experience this yo yo. Now I'm finding balance.
No No's so I don't Yo Yo
Bring the kids to the gym NO more than two days a week. I need to go early in the a.m. or when they are at an activity.
Place exercise before important events with my kids. A great spin class is not better than meeting a teacher at open house or a Sunday service.
Always be there to tuck my girls in at night. No gym at bedtime unless it is after bedtime. As they get older this may change, but right now my 4 year old needs me at this time.
Encourage fitness with my girls, and get them involved. Mahogani and Melodi are becoming teens, this will be good for them. Family walks, yoga, swimming, etc.
Tell myself it is o.k. to exercise. I can take time for myself.
Encourage clean eating and a healthy lifestyle this way we are all learning. Have clean eating cooking classes. Teach them to cook clean eating meals.
Marathons are o.k. to do these are usually on Sunday's and happen a few times a year. Other than that, Sunday Runday.... needs to happen before church and STILL make it to church.
Remember, just as my kids need activities in the community and something to do, so does mom. I can do other things besides working out.
Remember it is o.k. to loose one pound a week. You do not need to loose 5 a week. Loosing one is gaining the peace, and learning how to balance that I want.
I think I'm finally on the right track.
Peace and Love