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A 40th Birthday picture crops up ...

Friday, August 24, 2012

My husband did a little office clean-up yesterday and came home with a CVS packet full of pictures from the cruise we took to celebrate me turning 40. I just had my 50th birthday last Sunday so these were direct 10-year comparison shots.

W.O.W. Unfortunately, I cannot show you folks the "before" shots but *I* have them, and they came at a good time. I was in pretty rough shape as I hit 40 years old. Ironically, there was a shot of me in the same formal gown that I wore on my recent college graduation/50th birthday cruise to Norway. Everything about me spoke to the fact that I'd utterly dropped the reigns of my life. I had not quit drinking alcohol yet, I remember I ate a really processed diet with salty/sweet snacks constantly and I looked flushed, bloated, PREGNANT - just a real mess. My skin looked bad, my hair had no life and I realize I was trapped in my own non-life! Thinking back, that was probably close to my highest weight, if not at that highest weight of 173 lbs on my 5'3" frame. These pictures showed me frowning and unhappy and miserable-looking by day (some are candid shots, not posed, so I could really look into the person I was) and the others show a buzzed, shiney-faced, bleary girl by night! I was stuck in a cycle that I thought I was destined to live forever.

I did break from that pattern, though. It took a long time, years. I buckled down for good in January of 2011. This july, I celebrated my first year of maintenance. It Is Possible!! Small steps will get you there, just as it got me here. Recently, I've been under a lot of stress. College graduation was in May and there are still no job prospects in sight. I am alone at home a lot of the time. Frustration is building and my will wavers at times.

I recently read a blog written by 4-A-HEALTHY-BMI regarding the Merry-Go-Round of weight loss/gain/loss/gain... you get the point. It's an excellent blog and I've passed it on to some of my friends. I'd like to link to it here as well. Weight loss is one choice at a time. Weight maintenance is also one choice at a time. We are in control.

While I can't show you the sad, out-of-control person I was at 40 years old, I can post a picture of me on my 50th birthday trip (you may have already seen this in my trip blogs). I am wearing the same formal dress, after debate at home as to whether it had simply gotten too big to bring and wear. I will be printing it out to have the before and after hanging on the fridge for days (hours!) when that little voice tries to convince me to stray off the healthy path.

The ride is worth it. We are in control.
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  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

KATHYD82 9/13/2012 10:02PM

    I just read this Melly! Your pictures look beautiful, and I am so glad that you feel better about yourself all the way around. Even though the job hunt is difficult, you should be proud of getting through school and doing so well in your classes. And now maintenance for a year! I admire your steadfast determination. I am sticking with spark because of you and Jan and Liz and everyone out there and how we encourage each other with our stories, good advice and encouragement in general. So glad to have found you, and so thrilled for you that you have found the mix that works for you! emoticon Kathy

Comment edited on: 9/13/2012 10:02:50 PM

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ELLIE381 9/12/2012 8:03AM

    emoticon You have done an amazing. emoticon

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JUSTYNA7 9/11/2012 4:50PM

    Wonderful! You're right. The changes are not just on the outside. My DD and DH just put together a memory book from a family trip... probably ten years ago. I am smiling. But I know how much those smiles were covering. I was managing on the trip but it was not easy physically or emotionally. I still had a good time, but it makes me excited to think how much more enjoyable a trip would be now. Thanks for sharing. Justyna

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SNOWANGELDIVA 8/31/2012 10:14PM

    Melly, you look fabulous in your evening dress!!
Congratulations on having a fabulous celebration of life on your 50th birthday. I'm sorry I missed it, Melly. I hope it was absolutely fabulous for you.

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LORT-C 8/29/2012 11:04PM

    Love it! Sometimes we all need those reminders up on the refrigerators. Thanks for sharing and pushing for me to finish my journey. You look great!

Comment edited on: 8/29/2012 11:04:33 PM

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LJCANNON 8/26/2012 10:16AM

    emoticon I agree with the Other Posters,, You Do Look Marvelous!! For your Next 10 Year Anniversary, I might have the Dress tailored, Just For Fun!!
emoticon It is funny how those Old Pictures show up at the most Unexpected Times!! My Son posted a "Before" Picture of Me on his Facebook Page just this morning. It is from the back so you can't see much, but I remember how hard Walking was and how Self-Conscious I was on that Trip (to Las Vegas).

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PAMTHEDREAMER 8/25/2012 4:45PM

    What a journey Melly! You did it though and you look simply mavelous darlink. Congrats. I'm proud of you. xo

Take good care

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EFFIEANNIE 8/25/2012 9:41AM

    Nice dress and you look wonderful!

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POPSY190 8/24/2012 3:25PM

    You look gorgeous! The best is yet to come!

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JANEMARIE77 8/24/2012 12:19PM

    a picture is worth a thousand words you look beautiful and so happy

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QUEENMOXIE 8/24/2012 11:34AM

    You look gorgeous! I understand the picture thing...there are pictures of me that people couldn't pay me enough to see, no matter how far I have come from the before to now. Hang in there....I know that things are tough, and I pray that things will get better. Didn't you get a job interview? emoticon

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CATAPILLOW 8/24/2012 10:20AM

  Congratulations on you accomplishment! I think you look great! Keep up the good work. You are an encouragement to me.

Thanks so much for sharing

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NOTABOUTHEFACE 8/24/2012 10:05AM

    Pictures are a good reminder of where we've been and where we can go if we aren't careful. So glad you're at a place where you are in control and happy with life!

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