Thursday, August 23, 2012
So in my recent quest to be noticed by my husband, I had bought some new shirts from Kohl's, and when I did, I "earned" $20 in Kohl's cash. I also had a $5 off coupon for signing up for emails from them. So, I had $25 to spend today. :) I found a cute blue knit tie-waist cardigan on the clearance rack, a beautiful wooden candle holder on clearance, and a nice candle. My grand total for the purchase was $1.27.
It was so fun walking out of there without spending hardly anything. Of course goodness knows I've spent enough at Kohl's over the years, but I always have great coupons (I generally only shop there during months when I get a 30% off coupon in the mail).
My husband texted me yesterday and asked why everything he does lately irritates me. I didn't realize I had been so transparent. I thought I had been being pretty nice, but the more I think about it, the more I realize I've really been cold to him lately. I texted back that I'm sorry, but that I've felt very unimportant and invisible lately. He texted back that I'm not unimportant, and that if I was invisible, I could go rob a bank...
He's really not very good with words or emotions, haha. He doesn't mean it to be uncaring or negative. He's just really not good with expressing emotions. Which is why I feel the way I do. I guess I'm looking to him to validate me. I'm feeling heavy and unattractive right now, and I'm wanting him to compliment me and tell me I'm pretty, even though it is completely out of character for him to give anyone any sort of compliments at all, other than the kids. He is wonderful at praising the kids.
It's just not his responsibility to build me up, even though I wish sometimes that he would.
But, at any rate, I'm watching my snacking, and have been doing well sticking to healthy snacks, or saving leftovers from meals to eat for snack. I saved a bit of turkey meat from lunch so that I can snack on it around 3pm, when I start getting hungry again. So, that's good, I guess.
I heard Jada Pinkett Smith say in an interview that she never had trouble snacking or anything because her mother taught her that food is for nutrition, not for pleasure. Hmm. I don't like that philosphy at all. I think that food is for nourishment AND for pleasure, and I think that eating should be a joyful, positive experience. Just not overeating or eating things that are terrible for us. I prefer the philophy of moderation. :) Not that I practice it all the time, haha. That's the goal, though.
It appears that this blog has turned more into a journal than a blog. It's helping, though. It's nice to get all of this out.