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    CANDOK1260   43,308
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jokes and thursday notes

Thursday, August 23, 2012

Okay my two teems challenges came to end recently. My cats challenge end last week and this week my biggest loser challenge come to a end. I did not meet each of my goal./ But you know I don’t care. Except of course I would have like to help both team win. I don’t care because I know next time I will make my goal. I am now really committed to this journey. Thank to spark coach, spark live meeting and you guys I have learn to focus on me. I learn I need to track my food I need to drink my water . I need to be accountable to to myself to help me be accountable to my team. It also work in revised by being committed to me I am committed to my team.
Yesterday highlight have a great time at the bar listening to my nephew music but I wish the old folk ( over 40) would have told me everyone wear ear plug/ Boy punk pop is loud.
Yesterday challenge- well I solve my dinner problem by eating a flat bread pizza what I spilt with my niece
Jokes
Why did the Chicken cross the road?
Hypothetical answers from various famous people.
(author unknown)
Ralph Nader
“Chickens are misled into believing there is a road by the evil tire makers. chickens aren’t ignorant, but our society pays tire makers to create the need for these roads and then lures chickens into believing there is an advantage to crossing them. Down with the roads, up with chickens.”


Dr. Seuss
“Did the chicken cross the road?
Did he cross it with a toad?
Yes! the chicken crossed the road,
but why it crossed, I’ve not been told!”

Bill Gates
“I have just released eChicken 2000, which will not only cross roads, but will lay eggs, file your important documents, and balance your checkbook -- and Internet Explorer is an inextricable part of eChicken.”

Ernest Hemingway
“To die. In the rain.”

Aristotle
“It is the nature of chickens to cross the road.”

Karl Marx
“It was a historical inevitability.”

Grandpa
“In my day, we didn’t ask why the chicken crossed the road. Someone told us that the chicken crossed the road, and that was good enough for us.”


Captain James T. Kirk
“To boldly go where no chicken has gone before.”

Fox Mulder
“You saw it cross the road with your own eyes. How many more chickens have to cross before you believe it?”

Sigmund Freud
“The fact that you are at all concerned that the chicken crossed the road reveals your underlying sexual insecurity.”

.”

Einstein
“Did the chicken really cross the road or did the road move beneath the chicken?”



Machiavelli:
The point is that the chicken crossed the road. Who cares why? The ends of crossing the road justify whatever motive there was.

Albert Camus:
It doesn't matter; the chicken's actions have no meaning except to him.

Oliver Stone:
The question is not: "Why did the chicken cross the road?" But is rather: "Who was crossing the road at the same time whom we overlooked in our haste to observe the chicken crossing?"

chicken.

Newt Gingrich
Because the Chicken was kicked out of the coop.

Jerry Seinfeld:
Why does anyone cross a road? I mean, why doesn't anyone ever think to ask, "What the hell was this chicken doing walking around all over the place anyway?"



George Orwell:
Because the government had fooled him into thinking that he was crossing the road of his own free will, when he was really only serving their interests.


Nietzsche:
Because if you gaze too long across the Road, the Road gazes also across you.


Jean-Paul Sartre:
In order to act in good faith and be true to itself, the chicken found it necessary to cross the road.


Buddha:
If you ask this question, you deny your own chicken nature.

Ralph Waldo Emerson:
It didn't cross the road; it transcended it.
The Change
A middle-aged woman seemed sheepish as she visited her gynecologist. "Come now," coaxed the doctor, "you've been seeing me for years! There's nothing you can't tell me."

"This one's kind of strange..."

"Let me be the judge of that," the doctor replied.

"Well," she said, "yesterday I went to the bathroom in the morning and heard a plink-plink-plink in the toilet and when I looked down, the water was full of pennies."

"I see."

"That afternoon I went again and there were nickels in the bowl."

"Uh-huh"

"That night," she went on, "there were dimes and this morning there were quarters! You've got to tell me what's wrong with me!," she implored, "I'm scared out of my wits!"

The gynecologist put a comforting hand on her shoulder. "There, there, it's nothing to be scared about."

"You're simply going through the change
Motivation quotes of the day
Procrastination is one of the most common
and deadliest of diseases
and its toll on success and happiness is heavy.
-Wayne Gretzky
There are only two options regarding commitment;
you're either in or you're out.
There's no such thing as life in-between.
-Pat Riley
It's lack of faith that makes people afraid of meeting challenges,
and I believed in myself.
-Muhammad Ali
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  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

SPARKCHANTAL 8/23/2012 5:10PM

    and i thought it was just to get to the other side.

did the lady ever get to silver dollars? now she'd make a good friend!

hi candy

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LINDWGAYLE4 8/23/2012 2:10PM

    Boy so glad that I'm not going through the change like that if I told someone that I would be committed. emoticon emoticon emoticon

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2WHEELEDSHARON 8/23/2012 12:39PM

    I haven't seen the philosophical/political chicken joke in a few years, I forgot how they're my favorite. Thanks sis!

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KIN59VARA 8/23/2012 12:36PM

    Love it and also loved the southern version.

How do you like sparkcoach?

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LOLAINSC 8/23/2012 12:10PM

    Then there is the Southern explanation, y'all: Why did the chicken cross the road? To show the possum it could be done.
emoticon

Comment edited on: 8/23/2012 12:13:24 PM

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ALICIA214 8/23/2012 11:35AM

 

Very entertaining Thank you for sharing. emoticon

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GRANNYQUINN 8/23/2012 11:33AM

    I joined sarkcoach also , it has held me accountable , sounds like you had fun at the bar, Mmmm, flat Bread pizza . I love jokes Have you ever seen Church Ladies with Type Writers ? Hilarious Hugs Karen emoticon

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