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    JESSICAMONT32   9,904
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what a tough year


Wednesday, August 22, 2012

I feel like the last 14 months of my life has been one battle after another. One june 4th 2011, I got married. It was a beautiful day and a lot of fun. Nearly everthing a women could ask for ( My fathe wasn' there because he passed away in 07) . Had I known that day or during my honeymoon what was in store for me in the coming year I would have braced myself or maybe taken the time to enjoy the experience even more.
June 10th 2011 the day my husband and I arrive home to pick up our 14 month old daughter from her grandparents I get a call that my older sister has drown and died. She had a drug addiction and had gone swimming in the ocean and suffered a seziure. To get everything sorted out took nearly 2 months. I never had the chance to see her body, so to me I had a hard time believing it was true. I was living a nightmare. That same week my husband started school again. He was working fulltime ans going to school fulltime and never home . I was in a sense a single parent.
July 31 2011 I had a major neverous breakdown and was hospitialized for 7 days. The toll of my sister death took on me , was making it hard for me to function and take care of my daughter. My husband did not care to understand how I felt, he never really cared for my sister, he couldn't understand why she had the problems she did.
august 8th 2011 ...i head to the doctors because I am having stomach cramping and a missed period. I am on the mirena so the chance of being pregant is slim. The docotor does an internal everything seems fine. i have a ultrsound done and it shows that i have to rather large cyst on my ovaries. I am without insurance so it take a bit to get me into to see somone. I debate whether to go or not.
august 12th 2011 I see a obgyn...they do another ultrasound in the office the 7 cm cyst on my right ovary is now at nearly 11. the schedule surgery for the next mornng. I ask the doctor do you think this is cancerous ...she flatt out so no. ..you are to young for ovarian cancer ( 31 ) they remove the cyst next day and have to take the ovary as well, because once they get a look at it, it is misshaped and had some growths on it. two days later while recovering at my in law in ct i get a call from my doctore personally that I have early stage of ovarian cancer. I am shocked, horrifed and mad as hell.
august 30th ...we finally have my sister funeral and the next day i am do to go to Darthmarth Hitchock medical center to see the top sergon in NH.
Sept 20th 2011 I go in to round two....they explore everything in my abdomen to see if it had spread, luckialy it hadnt ...my left ovary was saved. The next six weeks are brutal, i stay in ct with my in law and daughter.
Jan 2012...famiular pains strikes again...back to the docs to find the cancer had come back to my left ovary. After much debate and waiting and seeing my husand and I do one round of IVF to harvest my eggs and fertilize them. ( News to me that you can have OC and still do fertlity treaments, depend on the type of OC you have and thankfully for me it was horomone fed) April "12" we harvest my eggs, i get overstimualted and put on 20lbs in two months. i feel just aweful
June 11 2012 I go in to have my only remaining ovary removed and my tube taken. no other cancer found. surgery and recovery are quicker this time. but i feel a little empty. like part of me is missing.

know to the present. I am still struggling witht the fact that i lost my sister, that my husband is not home nearly as much as i need him to be and that i lost my fertlity in all of one year....but i made a promise to myself that i am going to be a healthy mom for my daughter. That i will be that runner i used to be and that the cancer is going to get the best of me.

so that is my story ..the shortest version i could come up with. therer is so much more. Hopefully one day soon the cancer will be a thing of the past for me and i will no longer think of it daily............
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Member Comments About This Blog Post:
ROROSWORLD 8/23/2012 9:02PM

    First, you are brave. A lot of people stop planning anything when they get the diagnosis you did, they just curl up and wait. You didnít you fought and you planned for a future where you can have more children. That took guts, so give yourself a hug!! Second, losing someone even to old age, can knock the life out of you. To lose someone, unexpectedly, to something so unnecessary and tragic, well your brain has a hard time making sense of it. Be kind to yourself and give yourself plenty of time to grieve. Your husbandís bottom line might be you, so he sees you hurting over you sister and it just makes him angry because he can not protect you from the grief or from the cancer for that matter. So, what he shows is anger and not the fear that he is feeling. I am praying for you. You have had an ugly year. However, you are strong and proactive, so I believe you will get through it and you will do it with style and grace. Hugs!!

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PHILTRILL 8/22/2012 10:47PM

    Sweetie, my heart goes out to you with everything that happen to you in the space of one year, as they say when it rains, it really pours. My condolences to you on the passing of your sister and how it happen. Your husband situation I will not touch that you both have to communicate on what you think is not going right and what you require. Your cancer situation I am going to encourage you to surround yourself with all things positive, don't dwell on what happen in the past you have a very precious person to live for (your daughter). Time for some change in your diet to assist that cancer will be a thing of your past. Good luck on your journey.

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