Hey Sparkies.

Today has been a pretty eventful day. I went to the gym even though I had to cut my time short to take the husband to work. I did my warm up and some core exercises. Actually, I was still feeling pretty sore from Monday's core exercises. Again, I feel sore. But you know what sore is a really good feeling. It means I did something to work that flab. That's right even the back flab. Unfortunately, I am still about 23 pounds away from being able to use an exercise ball that I bought. However I don't let that stop me from doing it at the gym and trust me it works! Also, I do some weights while I do side bends and pleays. It helps with working your sides.

This week I am changing up the exercises and focusing on strengthening my core. That means every day instead of focusing on legs and then abs, or just arms, I am doing cardio more and doing core exercises every other day with legs and abs as the back burner. So far I have dropped 5 pounds since my weight gain last week of 7. Also, I am starting to notice that I am liking the way I look now. I am taking more pictures of myself and not just of my face. The other day I took a picture of me in my sports bra and a picture of my butt so I can see the differences.

I know it's funny but it helps motivate me. I like looking and feeling good. I know I still have a long way to go before I ever feel like it's maintenance mode instead of weight loss mode but when that day comes you guys will see a slew of pictures of before and after. Random pictures of things that motivated me like the picture of my butt... of course it is covered... lol... and maybe I may even slip into a bathing suit to show off all my hard work.

Either way, I think about the future but I like to live in the here and now. That means thinking about what needs to be done today and not tomorrow. When you think about your life like that it helps alleviate some stress.

Now for the husband update that I am sure you are all wondering. Basically, many of you know that he is pretty lazy and has no common sense but he is not stupid. He would tell me time and time again that he would be my pillar during this. Yes he does help sometimes but only after I complain. Also, many of you know that last week I finally had enough of his crap and told him to either be my husband or let me go. Of course last week was a really bad emotional week because of this.

We spend a few days apart. Of course I missed him but at the same time I realized I had more time to do the things I wanted to do. Also, my house stayed clean. Whoa. Realization hit me that I would be fine without him as much as it sucks and as much as it would break my heart. I would be okay and move on eventually. I am not the type of person who dwells on the past. I hate that more than anything and recently I am getting better about not doing it.

Which makes me happy. It doesn't make me depressed. I don't see a sad girl anymore. I see an opportunist and an optimistic girl now.

Anyway, basically on the drive home I told him he has six months to prove to me that he will change. He didn't say anything. Then he asked me if I really wanted to be with him. Well yes I do but I don't want to continually have to be the only one in our relationship. I basically told him our relationship is unbalanced and it puts a lot of strain on me. I need him to be my pillar of strength and to be more active about being with me. I also explained to him that if we can just work through this we can be better parents for our future kids because we will be one unit instead of two separate units. We would be on the same page and raise our children the way we need to in order to make them productive people in life.

He stated he understood so we will see what happens.

That is it for today. Everyone have a great day.

Love Piichii