Wednesday, August 22, 2012
What i'm learning is that food is an addiction the same as alcohol, sex or drugs. I am powerless over food and it has made my life unmanageable. Now it is up to me to make the choice to continue allowing it to control me or if I take control.
Sometimes after I eat I reflect and wonder exactly why I had the second helping or ate so much, because I actually was full. I have come to a few conclusions. 1. When I was a child we had to belong to the "clean plate club" and we could not leave the table until all our food was eaten. My father was a catholic school teacher and we didn't have much money and we did not waste food. I guess some things just stick in our head from childhood like that. 2. It's almost as if i'm afraid there won't be any food coming forthwith so I try and make sure i'm super stuffed in case there isn't any and I am doubling up on it. Now there really is no reason for this. I am not rich by any means, but i'm not poor either and there is more food in the fridge or cupboards. 3. I think sometimes I just allow myself to do it b/c it's easier to say hey, i'm full or comfortable, I can put this in the fridge and eat for my next meal, it's almost as if I am a glutton at times.
Well they say acknowledging and understanding is the first step, and I believe I have taken the first step. Food has had control and power over me, but today I choose to have power of it!!! Food has made my life and health unmanageable, but today I choose to make my life manageable and make healthy choices!! I am worthy!