Tuesday, August 21, 2012
Sometimes we get to say goodbye, and sometimes there isn't an opportunity or a time to do that. My hope for many Spark friends is that you do get the chance to say goodbye. Whether it is a friend moving away, or moving on to a new job, or having a really tough and sorrowful time of sending someone on to the other side. I think we deserve and need this important step, regardless of circumstance.
I have had this opportunity many times, but there is a time I didn't get to do this. I forgive my parents because of my age at the time and the circumstance...but I did not get to say goodbye to my late sister, who died 34 years ago today. What I remember is the pastor at our church coming for dinner, and we went to the cemetery and I knew she was gone. The words out of my mouth was that I did not want her to die. I was only 3. It is something I really hope a lot of 3 year olds do not have to go through. I hate cancer.
I really try to hold tight to what I remember of my sister, Janet. I remember her with hair. I remember when she had to wear a wig because her hair fell out after chemo treatments. I remember rushing to my Dad to tell him she fell out of bed and needed help. How awfully scary and sad a time that must have been for them, but I was so young and couldn't have that kind of talk with them. Here they were, less than 10 years into their marriage, burying their first-born. Just sad.
I am grateful the Lord blessed them with my sister Jennifer, me, and my brother John. I think we filled their hearts, their arms, and time, with a lot of business so that they could feel what they needed to, but had purpose and a lot of love yet to give us.
I wish my sister was here today, but I know that was not meant to be. Thanks for listening.