Tuesday, August 21, 2012
Yesterday I posted that I was angry with my husband for not supporting me in getting my black belt. For those of you who were surprised, here's the whole story.
Getting a black belt is much like getting a college degree. You work hard, starting with the basic courses, for a few years, and when you have mastered the material, you have a degree/black belt. After a bachelor's degree, many people want to continue their learning and enroll in graduate school. In martial arts, a black belt can continue training to become a 1st, 2nd, 3rd, 4th degree black belt all the way to a Master.
The one downside to both college and martial arts is -- tada! -- paying tuition. And there lies the issue in my household.
When I originally enrolled, I paid a large sum of "tuition" money to cover me from white belt to black belt. Now, keep in mind, I could have taken ten years to get to black belt if I had wanted to stretch out the money -- just like taking college courses part-time. But I wanted that belt, and I've spent three years training for it.
Now I need to prepare to pay the next round of tuition, the "grad school" fee, if you will. It's a few thousand dollars, and when DH heard the number, he lost it. I got an earful and then some about how shaky our finances are, how he's not working, and I'm allegedly "spending money left and right."
Granted, DH was correct in questioning the timing of the spending. But I was absolutely seething. Three years of training, and it comes down to "You can't test because I don't have a job"? Screw the logic; it's just not fair! I have been picking up extra hours at work wherever I can just to make ends meet. I've been the one working constantly...and yet I am the one who has to make the sacrifices?
Temper tantrum over, I have arranged a payment plan with our head instructor (who was more than willing to work out anything we needed), and I have given up my lunch time for this school year to pick up some extra money by supervising the students' lunch. (Hey, I can find some other time to eat, right? Yet another sacrifice...)
Yeah, I'm still bitter. I'm still angry about the unfairness involved. But DH is dealing with the unfairness of unresolved chronic pain (13 months now), so I guess we'll both have to deal with it and move on. Persevere...persevere...