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    KBEAN77   1,187
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struggles with negativity

Tuesday, August 21, 2012

So I went on vacation last week to my best friends house after being way too stressed out in my work, relationship and home life. I am financially stuck living with my parents and I have decided to either get a second job or really buy almost nothing just to save. My mother god bless her is one of the most negative people I know. She is only home for maybe 15 minutes while I am but in those 15 mins she is so negative. She walked in yesterday and didnt even ask me how i was just started in on how she cant stand how her coworker complains all the time and blah blah. Then she started complaining about how I have food in the refrigerator and all this stuff..I got so mad I left 5 minutes early for work. It really cranks up my anxiety and I have asked her not to do it and I have asked my dad to talk to her but she has verbal diarrhea. I love her but she really builds up my anxiety when she does this and there is no way to stop it until I move out. Luckily I havent eaten bad because of it but alot of times it causes me to emotionally eat. I just needed to vent about it. I love my mom and I feel bad that she has such anxiety in her life but I just hate listening to her constant negativity. Last night at work wasnt too bad hopefully tonight will be better. I worked out again today and my eating has gone well. Last night during supper I had no cravings and was not too hungry. YEAH ME!
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KBEAN77 8/22/2012 1:46PM

  thanks everyone for your advice...I feel bad she is the way she is but she makes herself so miserable. She actually has really bad bone spurs which I think are due to her being heavy and older but she cant exercise according to doctors. That would probably help her. I have asked her to get help for her anxiety but she feels she is normal and ok. Its sad I feel bad for her but I have done well on the not giving into to temptations and eating right and stuff. Thanks again everyone for your support:)

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ERIKATAURUS 8/21/2012 4:49PM

    I understand completely as I have the same issue with my aunt. I do not understand how someone can be so happy being so negative. I also still struggle in not letting her negativity affect me and I know even a few minutes around this type of energy can really drag you down. As much as you can realize it has nothing to do with you, she is a person with her own issues whether she realizes it or not and you can't force others to change if they don't want to. When you know it's time for her to get home take a few minutes to simply breathe and relax so maybe her complaining won't make you as anxious. Even decide if organizing your schedule a little differently so you can be gone before she's home is worth it so you don't have to experience dealing with her in her "home from work negative de-stressing period".

No matter what keep focus on doing well for yourself health-wise and financially so you can move on to your own environment in the best shape physically, mentally & emotionally as possible. Good Luck!

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ELIZRN 8/21/2012 4:39PM

  Your mother's negativity belongs to her. Now, this may sound "negative", but it is the truth. It isn't your job to fix her....even if you could. We all get something out of our emotional conduct, so she is feeding herself with this. I know it is hard to be around someone with negativity, especially someone you love. It is OK not to love her behavior. You can look beyond that, understanding that she does have choices, as you do.

There are many ways you can look at this. Perhaps it is the price you pay for getting some help now that you need it. If you understand that it is not your responsibility to change her or to make her happy, then you can release. Why not surround her with the White Light of Prayer....& go about your own life.

Just a thought.

elizRN

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SUGARSMOM2 8/21/2012 2:42PM

  Hey did i hear you right ? You said your paths only cross for about 15 min. a day ? Now in my book that is not to long . 15 min . 900 seconds . .. How can she get much in talking in that short a time ? . If that brothers you and you think i want get a second job to get away perhaps that is true . you need to get your own place to be away from your mom . sorry . emoticon

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HEALTHYLADY12 8/21/2012 2:18PM

    Im sorry your going through this. Does she need some exercise to make her feel better, maybe you can motivate her and she will chill a lil.

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LITTLEDUTCH 8/21/2012 1:53PM

    That can be very hard to take sometimes. Hang it there, set your goals (both nutitionally and financially) and soon you'll be able to resolve both problems.

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LNZLOU 8/21/2012 1:44PM

    Try not to let her get you down. I have the exact same problem with my mother. I'm trying to take it as an example as how I don't want to act. Great job working out and eating well! emoticon

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