Tuesday, August 21, 2012
So apparently I'm still not eating enough. And I'm trying. I really am. I'm eating more snacks, but they're not raising my calorie count up high enough. I still feel hungry sometimes, but not unbearably so. And when I'm hungry, it is easily satisfied. I'm sure I'm not getting proper nutrients, and I'm really bad at forgetting to take my daily vitamins, lol!
And today is going to be even harder to eat enough. Because something so wonderfully, magically amazing happened to me last night, that I'm too shy and private to share here, but anyone who reads this has to trust me that it actually made my year. So now my stomach is aflutter with butterflies, and I have this nervous feeling of anticipation in my stomach that I know is going to prevent me from eating today. I had to force down my granola bar this morning. I have no idea how I'm going to eat lunch. Or anything else for that matter. Which means I'm worried that I'll pass out when I do my cardio this evening, because I have no excuse not to do it. In fact, I have more reason than ever to keep this whole weight loss/healthy lifestyle thing up.
But I'm walking on air, and I hope this feeling of elation lasts for as long as possible. What has happened to me? I don't know. I'm so used to being little miss melancholia, grumbling about everything. I've rarely felt this positive before. Please don't let this all come crumbling down. I'm so tired of being depressed! But now I'm starting to worry that I may be bipolar, because I'm sure I'm exhibiting signs of mania. Hopefully I just feel so silly and wired from a combination of happiness and lack of sleep!