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Catholic Vocabulary List!!!!

Tuesday, August 21, 2012






This information is for Catholics only. It must not be divulged to non-Catholics. The less they know about our rituals and top secret code words, the better off they are.


AMEN: The only part of a prayer that everyone knows.


BULLETIN: Your receipt for attending Mass.


CHOIR: A group of people whose singing allows the rest of the Parish to lip-sync.


HOLY WATER: A liquid whose chemical formula is H2OLY.


HYMN: A song of praise usually sung in a key three octaves higher than that of the congregation's range.


RECESSIONAL HYMN: The last song at Mass often sung a little more quietly, since most of the people have already left.


INCENSE: Holy Smoke!


JESUITS: An order of priests known for their ability to find colleges with good basketball teams.


JONAH: The original 'Jaws' story.


JUSTICE: When kids have kids of their own.


KYRIE ELEISON: The only Greek words that most Catholics can recognize besides gyros and baklava. (for you non-Catholics it means Lord have mercy)


MAGI: The most famous trio to attend a baby shower.


MANGER: Where Mary gave birth to Jesus because Joseph wasn't covered by an HMO. (The Bible's way of showing us that holiday travel has always been rough.)


PEW: A medieval torture device still found in Catholic churches.


PROCESSION: The ceremonial formation at the beginning of Mass consisting of altar servers, the celebrant, and late parishioners looking for seats.


RECESSIONAL: The ceremonial procession at the conclusion of Mass led by parishioners trying to beat the crowd to the parking lot.


RELICS: People who have been going to Mass for so long, they actually know when to sit, kneel, and stand.


TEN COMMANDMENTS: The most important Top Ten list not given by David Letterman.


USHERS: The only people in the parish who don't know the seating capacity of a pew.


emoticonfor those of you who aren't Catholic.....now you know our secrets!!!


emoticonMary Anne
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  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

JANIEWWJD 8/24/2012 3:28AM

    Too funny!!! emoticon

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OPALMOON 8/22/2012 7:03AM

    emoticon

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INBRAZILFORNOW 8/22/2012 5:38AM

    Fun!

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ARTJAC 8/22/2012 2:01AM

    emoticon

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ANDYINBC 8/22/2012 1:59AM

    So that's what Kyrie Eleison means!

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EVWINGS 8/21/2012 11:22PM

    How very ture! I love the relic one!! emoticon

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Q8PRINCESS 8/21/2012 11:17PM

    emoticon

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CATHOLICCORGI 8/21/2012 9:33PM

    emoticon
I love it! Especially about the HYMN... that's my parish to a "T". Even the guitarist at 8am Mass has a capo set to 3 octaves higher...LOL! And the organist... it makes my throat hurt to try to sing... and I am a soprano! (No, I do not sing in the choir!)
Now all of our secrets are out!!
Peace be with you! Thanks for the laugh!
Leah

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CHRIS3874 8/21/2012 9:20PM

    emoticon

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BABY77A 8/21/2012 6:57PM

    Loved this. Thanks for blogging

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CATLADY52 8/21/2012 6:24PM

    Good to know emoticon . emoticon

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BUTEAFULL 8/21/2012 3:59PM

    emoticon

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KAYDE53 8/21/2012 3:38PM

    emoticon

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SILVER1369 8/21/2012 3:31PM

    emoticon

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JOHNTJ1 8/21/2012 3:14PM

    Love it

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PURPLE180 8/21/2012 3:11PM

    emoticon

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ANHELIC 8/21/2012 3:06PM

    Now we all know the secret. Thanks for sharing.

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GSWINNIE 8/21/2012 1:38PM

    SHH!! you aren't supposed to tell!

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SNOWYOGA 8/21/2012 1:28PM

    Thank you for sharing emoticon

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SNOWYOGA 8/21/2012 1:27PM

    Thanks emoticon

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WAYSOFGRACE 8/21/2012 1:19PM

    My mother used to ask me for the bulletin when I'd get home from church as a kid. Now I know why!

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OVERACTIVEELBOW 8/21/2012 1:19PM

    Thanks for sharing your smiles.. Audra

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1CRAZYDOG 8/21/2012 1:00PM

  H2Oly . . . that's it! Wonderred about that. . . LOL

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CHACHAOREO 8/21/2012 12:46PM

    I don't know where you find these--but I love them. Keep them coming!! emoticon

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HILDABRAND 8/21/2012 12:18PM

    That's hilarious! I especially love "justice" emoticon

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DVIRGADAM 8/21/2012 10:44AM

    Too funny! Thanks for sharing! Enjoy the day!

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LEW0213 8/21/2012 10:38AM

    emoticon

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JEANNETTE59 8/21/2012 10:36AM

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ANDREWS_MOM 8/21/2012 10:27AM

    emoticon
Thanks for the morning smile! emoticon
My lil' guy starts kindergarten at Catholic school next week...maybe i should start teaching him this list, too! emoticon emoticon

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DOROTHYBERO 8/21/2012 10:27AM

    emoticon

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GOOZLEBEAR 8/21/2012 10:14AM

    I'm not Catholic but I enjoyed it anyway!!!!! emoticon

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SHARJOPAUL 8/21/2012 10:10AM

    Ah yes reccessional the race to the parking lot.

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LITTLEWIND53 8/21/2012 10:04AM

    LOL

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EGGBASKET1 8/21/2012 9:46AM

    CUTE !!! A LOT TO THINK ABOUT !!! THANKS FOR SHARING !!!

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SENATOR9 8/21/2012 9:45AM

    Being a Catholic I remember all of them so well.Let's not forget Bingo in the basement emoticon

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SANDYW1945 8/21/2012 9:44AM

    emoticon

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LINDAKAY228 8/21/2012 9:24AM

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GARDENSFORLIFE 8/21/2012 9:17AM

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MCGS62 8/21/2012 9:15AM

    WOW ! I've been thinking way too deep --thanks for simplifying thigs for me emoticon

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RAINBOWFALLS 8/21/2012 8:58AM

    emoticon have a great day!

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