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    MINII_CAKES   113
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Divorce Sucks

Tuesday, August 21, 2012

I've been divorced for two months now and I don't know what to do with myself. My heart aches on a daily basis and it pains me to know he's so happy when I'm here so miserable. I have so many things on my mind regarding this whole situation and it's driving me nuts. Anyone else feel these?
He has no right to say the kids are his if he's never around and he doesnt support them
How can he move on so quickly he never loved me to begin with
I hate his new girlfriend shes trying to take my place that whore!
No we cant be friends you jerk
Why do I still love him?
God I hate his guts SMITE HIM! SMITE HIM! he's sinned against you!
Many more things run through my head but I think its too explicit for spark. LoL ugh it's nice to get these things off my chest even if no one else reads it
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  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

JHAWKI39 8/23/2012 11:53AM

    I went through a divorce a few years ago, I did not have children, so it was a bit different, but I do know that gut wrenching pain you are talking about! In my life I had to figure out who I was and what I wanted and part of that was becoming a Christ follower, and using prayer and Jesus to heal me from the inside out.
Your ex-husband does not define who you are, so don't let him (or his new girlfriend). You will have those loving feelings for a while, but that is because you truly loved him. Taking things slow and really working through what your feeling means that you will successfully put all this behind you! He, on the other hand, rushing into a new relationship shows that he has no clue who he is or what he wants, chances are he will live in this repeated pattern and end up unhappy and alone.
Support of a trusted friend, and God- that is my advice to you!
As far as your kids, I agree with what has been stated. Your Mom, so as long as you always act like Mom, you can NEVER be replaced! Let him make his mistakes, and don't let them effect you, he will be living in regret, not you!
Prayers for you!

PS after 3 years of healing and "me time" I met someone who I love more than anything and we were married in April 2012. Just give it time~ good things will come!

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MOSTOFTODAY 8/22/2012 11:30AM

    Trust me, he's not as happy as he wants you to think. Divorce sucks on both sides, even when there is a new girlfriend in the picture and especially when kids are involved. He's feeling it too, he's just hiding it well. Your kids will soon learn that "Dad" is a title that has to be earned, and that if 'Dad' is not putting the time in, Dad will get the same treatment from them as they get older.
And the new girlfriend...well she will never compare to "Mom" and as long as you are doing your job at being Mom, you cannot be replaced. A new girlfriend is so exciting for the kids at first, buying them crap and being always cheerful...but You will always be "Mom", a stable factor in their lives, and girlfriends come and go.

Keep your head up, time will make you feel better and stronger, I promise. Do things for yourself, keep yourself busy. Bury your nose in a book if you have to escape. Don't worry your mind with thinking his life is better than yours, just focus on making yours better. Trust me, I know how you feel...I felt the exact same way ten years ago during my divorce....and now....well lets just say the kids don't want much to do with their Dad, his new girlfriend is long gone, and while he may have five times the money and freedom I do and appear to be oh so happy in his big house and fancy cars....I gloat in the fact that he has gained about 50 lbs since our divorce and the only women that can stand him are gold diggers.

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KIMPY225 8/21/2012 8:55AM

    Sorry to hear about your pain. I would focus on you & your kids. Don't let him get to you too much - you will live without him. You can't live without yourself! Keep your head up! and try to smile and realize there are many other things to make you happy! Good luck!

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ELRIDDICK 8/21/2012 8:53AM

  He may be happy now, but remember there was a time he was happy with you as well. He may be one of those that thinks when the newness wears off so does the love and move on again. You are better off in the long run. Join singles groups whether at church or out in the community, meet other people and forget the idiot that let the best thing to happen to him slip away. You'll find someone who makes you much happier. It just takes time.

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JILLITA55 8/21/2012 8:52AM

    I care and the Lord loves you still. Be the better person and don't let the new girlfriend take over your family. They are your children and remind her that when she is with them. I hope your children are living with you. And just for the point, I hate men too. I gave up on them along time ago. Iwill keep you in my prayers tonight!

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RIDLEYRIDER 8/21/2012 8:48AM

  You are understandably angry. Talking it out with someone you trust will help.
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KOMTRIA 8/21/2012 8:46AM

  This is so tough. I am sorry for all of this. I can only hope it will get easier with time.

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