Advertisement -- Learn more about ads on this site.

    MORTICIAADDAMS   362,478
Greater than 350,000 SparkPoints

I'm Back From The Dead

Monday, August 20, 2012

Saturday I felt slighter better as opposed to ventilator ready. LOL. Hubby felt almost the same if not worse. He looked like someone who had been on a 3 day drunk. We felt compelled to go to my MIL's anyway because we are hard heads and we are trying to get loose ends wrapped up there. We are under a lot of pressure to get this trust/estate settled. We made it there and of course the yard had to be mowed. It's in the sun and he has to use a junky push mower. It's almost like a Bataan Death March. So he did that while I priced things inside. I hated every minute of it but at least it was cooler. He came in and helped me and we were so tired and cranky that were like too old dogs growling, snapping, snarling, and nipping at each other. Of course we don't mean any of it and he is constantly apologizing because I am just defending myself. I am the westie and he is the pitbull. We got through the tablecloths and drapes. I have never seen anyone with as much junk as my MIL had. I hate it. My hubby hates it. So many worthless knickknacks and useless objects. I used to be a minimalist before my mom died. Back then my friends were mortified that I didn't have a stereo or any other electronic equipment other than a 13 inch black and white T.V. that I got as a child. And I didn't care. Unfortunately I inherited really nice things from my mom. She wasn't into trashy junk so I have more than I want.

Sunday we stayed home and tried to get some rest but we needed to clean up some of the storm damage. Plus we both felt the need to get some exercise in though no one knows why 2 soon to be corpses need to hike. LOL. We needed to go to bed. I had a ton of work to catch up on and we were both still snarly. I didn't get any where near getting it all done.

Today I had a ton more stuff to do for hubby regarding the estate and trust. I swear I will not do it any more and then he needs me and has no one else to help so I reluctantly do what I have to do which usually means making phone calls to strangers. At least the ones today were nice.

I had to take out the compost, feed the wildlife, burn the trash sweep the floors, spot clean the cages. The sink was such a mess that by the time I unloaded the dishwasher and reloaded it was full again.

I had 3 turtles today and maybe more. Big Boy came and would not let the female eat as he wanted to hump her. The other big male also showed up and tried to hump her as well. I went out and ran them off so she could eat in peace.

My son ended up having to work all day as someone got sick.

Member Comments About This Blog Post:

    I think you're having the "perfect storm" scenario of MIL's stuff, legal stuff, financial and personal stuff, sleep deprivation, MRSA, etc. No wonder you've gained and are feeling poorly.

I sleep easily and well, but even I have had trouble due to sleeping in my car. Thankfully no health problems.

Report Inappropriate Comment
TYEASLEY 9/10/2012 9:55PM

    emoticon I hope you're feeling better these days.

Report Inappropriate Comment
KALISWALKER 9/4/2012 1:43PM

    I am catching up on what you are doing. I hope you are finished with disposing of MIL's estate and can enjoy summer's end.

Report Inappropriate Comment
WOWEETOO 9/4/2012 9:08AM

    i'm cleaning my stuff out now..everything in the closet will go to goodwill and my stash of needlwork to the ang and ega friends and that leaves furniture (very little) for some thrift store to come and carry off only things not accounted for are the stitching things on the wall and hopefully friends and family will fight over those lol
the lady mary

Report Inappropriate Comment
ENUFF81020 9/1/2012 11:31PM

    Hi there,
I don't think cleaning up anyone's stuff is a good time, especially our own, but right after that, the stuff of a loved one. It is amazing how much can be packed away. Add in the weather that we have had and your illnesses of late--and the fact that your it is what is left of your in-laws and your husband isn't enjoying all of this and it is sure to be an argument waiting to happen. The fact that you both caught yourselves and managed it like decent adults is awesome and a testament to your relationship.

The turtles reminds me of a trip we took to the zoo--their exhibit was behind a window and there was some humping going on. I didn't realize that turtles did it that way and as I was staring and talking about them and asking questions, my son--who was much younger--finally looked at me and said, "Mom, you really don't realize that they are having $#x??" in a voice that caught every other adults attention. I am not sure if the giggling and snickering was at his comment or if it was at how dumb I was.

Take care of yourself--I hope that the extra jobs you are doing come to an end soon.
Gentle hugs,

Report Inappropriate Comment
CHRIS3874 9/1/2012 10:55PM

    get well

Report Inappropriate Comment
KAPERK1 9/1/2012 8:57PM

    Oh my gosh. Please feel better.

Report Inappropriate Comment
SPARKNMOM 9/1/2012 11:29AM

    SO glad you're feeling better!! I went back to school this week - it was a rough start, but it always starts a little rough and only gets all will be fine :)

Going back to work means my house takes a major hit. I got home Thursday night and couldn't belive that the mess I walked into was my house. The kids' extracurriculars and my early mornings mean 9 months of neglect for my abode...thank goodness for the long weekend!! Next weekend will be long as well, as we will get NEXT Monday off as well for our county fair.

Wishing you a fabulous weekend!!

PS...saw you posted on Randy's page :) You make me smile.

Report Inappropriate Comment

    I know you'll be glad when this is wrapped up!

Wish I had been there to see the turtles.

Report Inappropriate Comment
ALASKASKY 8/31/2012 10:41PM

    emoticon emoticon

Comment edited on: 8/31/2012 10:44:19 PM

Report Inappropriate Comment

    OMG I just re-read your blog!
Giggled like a school girl at a turtle visual.

Report Inappropriate Comment

    I somewhat feel your pain. I have control of Dad's estate. Lucky for me he WAS a minimalist.
Still, trying to sell a house and all its contents sucks!

Report Inappropriate Comment

    I watch hoarders on tv too. It makes me feel better as I can say to my husband "at least we are not as bad as that"!!!! emoticon Take it easy both of you. emoticon

Report Inappropriate Comment
MRSSHOWME 8/30/2012 11:46AM

    I am so sorry that you are still struggling through your MIL's estate. This seems never ending to me, so I can't imagine how you and hubby are making it through.

Enjoy the turtles, relax and REST my friend!!

Report Inappropriate Comment
GINIEMIE 8/29/2012 9:26AM

    When my husband died, I called someone to come in and clear out the basement-his domain, after the children took what they wanted. I had to pay of course, but they claimed they recycled and donated what was useful. That was after two garage sales. It was worth the money.
Hugs to you and hubby, hope you both are on top of your game soon. Praying that this estate matter comes to a quick close also.
emoticon emoticon

Report Inappropriate Comment
MRE1956 8/29/2012 5:10AM

    Ouch! What an ordeal!

Had a significant cleanout to deal with a few years ago when spouse inherited his childhood home - almost like a scene out of "Hoarders", only with some valuable items mixed along with the junk - of course there would have to be a "fly" in the proverbial "ointment" make things even more ...... sigh ........ interesting, there was the matter of a second property that needed to be occupied by someone to avoid the appearance of abandonment........and guess who ended up with that burden? Yours flippin' truly! Now that really hurt since I HATE that $#!@# town (for reasons I won't bother to disclose)!

The only good thing that came out of that period of time was that, by my having the place to myself - *literally* - I at least had more than a few quiet nights - oh, what I'd do for that now!

House #1 is in reasonable shape now, but house #2 still needs some work (it'll be a "work in progress" for some time as finances play a big part in getting things done)....

Hang in there and treat yourself (and your hubby) kindly - this, too, shall pass!

Report Inappropriate Comment
MOMMA_BEAR_69 8/29/2012 4:58AM

    My kids have told me that they don't want any of the junk I have of theirs, so it is on its way out the door. Getting it cleaned out now rather than later. Keep up your great work.
Ken and I are still working on his aunt's estate in Louisiana. It has been a long seven years trying to finish it.
Thinking of you always,
Blessings and hugs,

Report Inappropriate Comment
WOOLANDWOOD 8/28/2012 10:56PM

    Hiya! I can't believe how long it's been... I miss you too.
I recently quit therapy and bought a loom... I figured it was a pretty good trade off. emoticon

Converting the living room that no one comes to into studio space is being an adventure.
I vacuumed the wool turkish style rug sprinkled it liberally with lavender buds and rolled it up. I plan now to hang it on the windward wall. (but that's going to be a project in itself)

I have continued knitting and hang out a lot on Ravelry.

Felix is three now and is as smart as I thought he would be... he had his daycare person and he whole family convinced he was turning 4 in July when he was three.

emoticon My son got married and appears to have decided to live life as an adult. emoticon

So all in all I'm doing pretty well.
Still kinda lonely and socially awkward. But the struggle is less.

I'm holding steady at 225. That may be something I manage to get lower sometime in the next year but I'm happy that my cholesterol and blood sugar are both now well in the normal range.

That's pretty much all the news from the northwest corner of the nation.

Lots of emoticon emoticon emoticon

Comment edited on: 8/28/2012 10:57:41 PM

Report Inappropriate Comment
MRS.CARLY 8/28/2012 10:14PM

    I've been long have you guys been dealing with the MIL stuff? It seems like a REALLY long time emoticon

Report Inappropriate Comment
WIFEALF 8/28/2012 8:44PM


Report Inappropriate Comment
JAZZERCISEGF 8/28/2012 1:39PM

    I've been tossing, throwing, burning, dropping kids junk off before they get home from work. It's so important but kids think its silly. I cleaned my moms house after she died and trust me I am trying to spare my kids. Hubbys aunt has mountains of stuff even though she lives in assisted living. emoticon

Report Inappropriate Comment
DOTSLADY 8/26/2012 2:13PM

    emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon

Report Inappropriate Comment
GOCYCLE 8/24/2012 11:40PM

    I don't know if I am too late or for whatever it is worth as a suggestion: We just put Mom through a down-sizing. She lives with our cousin now and rents her 2000sf home on the acre that she was no longer able or willing to maintain. It is a nice arrangement for her to have 24/7 company around :)

It might go easier for you and the family to hire a professional liquidator. They have a network of collectors to contact, the means to advertise the sale of her contents and the TIME to sit there and sell a lot of things that might hold memories for you guys. Liquidating someones personal effect can be a very painful (emotionally) and slow process because of our attachment. I found someone through my realtor. They guided me through the steps I needed to have done and kept them to a minimum and it was over in 3 days!

Report Inappropriate Comment
URBU2IFUL 8/24/2012 7:23PM

    OMG! Sounds like you have had it pretty rough! Hope you and DH can get some rest! Still wish I had a beautiful back yard to sit in and enjoy the wildlife. Yours is still really beautiful and I hope you get to spend some time there relaxing. emoticon
Talk to you soon emoticon

Report Inappropriate Comment
TEDYBEAR2838 8/24/2012 2:53PM

    You definitely make me tired thinking of all the things you do and not feeling
the greatest on top of it. You do need some down time for fun. What do you do for fun????

Report Inappropriate Comment
CHRIS3874 8/23/2012 9:28PM

    Yeah I just have tons of CRAP my kid left when HE moved out!!! (and he JUST bought a HOUSE with a HUGE garage) emoticon

Report Inappropriate Comment
MARLINDA5 8/23/2012 4:11PM

    After reading your blog - I am going to start throwing out stuff so my daughters won't have to worry about things - I like to keep knick knacks and have kept some of their childhood clothing and school info.

Hopfully the estate will be finished soon to give you and your husband some rest.

Also hope you are feeling well soon.


Report Inappropriate Comment
IFDEEVARUNS2 8/23/2012 3:25PM

    Oh my, I'm still dealing with my mother's estate. Cleared out the last of the house three weeks ago. I feel your pain!

Report Inappropriate Comment
LIVINGFREE19 8/22/2012 1:17PM

    I am not a hoarder at all, but some definitely are. I am definitely a minimalist. We are renting the house we are in so I only like to keep the bare necessities in case we have to move. We don't have a lease anymore. We have a month by month type of setup. the landlord doesn't want to do a lease because he has a brother he is trying to get here from another country and he will live in this house when he comes so we will be moving then and we never know when his brother will get here...if ever. I don't really like living like this but our daughter only has 4 years left of school, and after that we can move anywhere. Where we are at is only 4 blocks from her school...very ideal location.
Anyways...I know what it takes to price things to sell and it is a tedious job. i hope you sell lots of stuff when you have your sale, to make it all worthwhile!
Good luck!

Report Inappropriate Comment
TIGGER2094 8/22/2012 11:02AM

    Oh, man! You are one busy lady! Glad you are feeling a bit better, and hoping you get some well-deserved rest soon.

Report Inappropriate Comment
CONFUSEDBIRD 8/22/2012 9:21AM

    I hope you start feeling better soon! It's very easy to become a minimalist when your raised by ppl who can't get rid of anything. Thank goodness for that!

Report Inappropriate Comment
BLAZINGSWORD 8/22/2012 12:02AM

    I went to a ladies Bible study one night and they did it on the Day of Rest. The ? was posed to us: Why did God make a day of rest?

Well of course there were varied answers.

But the one that stuck out in my mind the most was, "God never intended for us to finish all the stuff we need to do in one week. So He created a day of rest because He knew it would be NEVER ENDING!"

I try to remember that as I live each day now because of mine and hubby's circumstances. I get done what needs to be done for that day because I feel like I am running in circles with the phone calls, the appointments, the rxs, ect. So I can certainly understand where you are coming from with you MIL's estate.

Hang in there, it won't be forever.

Report Inappropriate Comment
EAGLES_WINGS 8/21/2012 11:34PM

    I am tired just reading all you have to do. If I don't keep it simple, I am miserable. Hope that you get to the other side of the estate sooner than later. Hope you have a restful night. 'bout ready to do that myself very soon! May your tomorrows be lighter and happier. Love to you! emoticon

Report Inappropriate Comment
NORASPAT 8/21/2012 11:28PM

    "M". do try to take it easy you will just fall right back by not taking care of you and DH, Slow down, stay home a little and have a Nice read in the yard Pat in Maine. we are very busy having fun. Winter will be here soon enough, Pat ((((HUGS)))))-PLEASE do take care. emoticon emoticon

Report Inappropriate Comment
CONTENTCHRIS 8/21/2012 10:05PM

    That turtle soup sounds so good.. Wait oh i mean yea chase em off yea.. emoticon

Report Inappropriate Comment
KANOE10 8/21/2012 9:35PM

    Boy do you keep busy. I bet you will be glad when your MIL's estate is finished.

I am glad your turtles came back !

Hope you are feeling better. I finally caught up on sleep.

My son and I were also rather snappy as we moved him into his apt in 100 degree heat. emoticon

Report Inappropriate Comment
JERSYGRL 8/21/2012 8:12PM

    The inherited sentimental and "good" stuff can really clog up the house. Hope you are near to finishing your MIL's house. We had two houses to clean out essentially by ourselves. We were much younger and had tons of energy. Carol

Report Inappropriate Comment
SUNNY332 8/21/2012 8:04PM

    So glad you are feeling better but goodness gracious, sweetie, slow down some. You jump in with both feet & I worry about you.

Take care and slow it down some.....


Love you my friend, Sunny

Report Inappropriate Comment
COMPUCATHY 8/21/2012 7:59PM

    Glad you two are feeling better...sounds like you've worked yourselves to death, though. So much to do. Settling estates is so much work! Hope you are seeing the light at the end of the tunnel. Get your sleep and take care! Keep up the good work! Thanks for the encouragement! Spark on! emoticon

Report Inappropriate Comment
LINDAMARIEZ1 8/21/2012 5:33PM

    Well, I swear! 2 of my 4 hermit crabs sleep in the shells I bought for the food! sooooo, all nite the other 2 can't get any thing! Then they sleep all day so I hope I do not need 4 dishes as there isn't room for each to have their own buffet! what to do? what to do? Not as busy as you (ever) but busy enough for me! I am off the next 3 days! whoopey do!
love ya,


Report Inappropriate Comment
-SPIRITSEEKER2- 8/21/2012 2:56PM

    yes, I had my stuff I liked then inherited my parents nice stuff... have sold most of it and some of mine .. collecting more to sell as I can let go, for the big yardsale at the beach in a few weeks.. de cluttering... making more room to spread out my arts and crafts..LOL

Report Inappropriate Comment
OAKSHAVEN 8/21/2012 11:52AM

    Good grief, woman. You and DH both need to take a break before you really do break down completely. I ache and feel sick just reading about all you are doing--and you weren't feeling well to begin with!! emoticon

Report Inappropriate Comment
MYLADY4 8/21/2012 11:42AM

    I feel your pain about the MIL's place. Mine passed away in January and her house was packed with stuff, very organized but packed. I refused to even go in her scrapbooking room for almost a week and then I felt so overwhelmed I had to get out of there.

It took us months to get everything out that family members wanted or needed. Luckily for us, there was a company in her town that sold estate items. They came in, priced everything, organized everything, had a sale and sold most of the items then cleaned up after they were done. It was AWESOME. They took half of the profits but it was the best money that we never got. There was no way we would have been able to do that.

So man, I feel for ya. Hang in there.

Report Inappropriate Comment
MRS.CARLY 8/21/2012 10:47AM

    Was your MIL a hoarder? Definitely sounds like it. My dad has always been "everything in its place and a place for everything". He doesn't like to throw stuff away, but that is because he thinks he can find use for it again. He isn't that bad though because my mom then waits a week or two (til he forgets about it) then throws it away. it is a well working system.

My husband on the other hand....I think he would throw me and the dogs into the dumpster if he could. He throws EVERYTHING away and hates any extras! I think I drive him a little crazy.

But then again isn't that what wives do? Drive their husbands a lil crazy?

Report Inappropriate Comment
ARLENE_MOVES 8/21/2012 9:51AM

    Man, too busy. When my MIL passed, we took everything to a sale barn, they sold it and sent us a check. It was too much the other way. Surprised at how much we got and didn't have to do much work.

Report Inappropriate Comment
BUGLET- 8/21/2012 9:43AM

    I know exactly what you mean about being snarly. That has happened to us also when we were under a lot of stress. We let off steam by snapping at each other although we know when we do it that we really don't mean it. I'll bet your MIL's things are overwhelming. I have a lot of "stuff" too but if I suggest getting rid of stuff, he says OK but I'm the only one that gets rid of my stuff. We moved to another state and he even uprooted plants to take with us..Men~~~~~
I'm glad you're feeling some better, don't wear yourself out please..
emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon

Report Inappropriate Comment
WOLFSPIRITMOM 8/21/2012 8:21AM

    Wow, busy. Hope it all comes to end soon. emoticon

Report Inappropriate Comment
BETHGILLIGAN 8/21/2012 8:10AM

    Glad you and hubby are feeling better although it doesn't sound like by much. LOL You are still crankin out the work home and at MIL's. OMG!! Please finish up that estate!! Is the house on the market? Hope you continue to feel better (although I think you need to be getting more rest!)

Report Inappropriate Comment
CODEMAULER 8/21/2012 7:34AM

    I suppose that there will come the day when you donate everything else - post-estate sale - and you'll be able to close the chapter.

It's closer every day; hang in there!!


Report Inappropriate Comment
DMF2012 8/21/2012 7:33AM

    I'll bet you were able to sleep after all of that!

Report Inappropriate Comment

Add Your Comment to the Blog Post

Log in to post a comment.
Member Comments Page (64 total):  1 2 Next >