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    TRACYNOTGIVINUP   32,947
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Change My Goal Weight: Cheating or Realistic


Monday, August 20, 2012

Shall I warn you now....this blog is coming from my kindle so please excuse any extra punctuation and errors. I usually do not blog from my kindle it is not the easiest thing to do but I have had this weighing on my mind a lot lately and figured since I am having a hard time coming to my decision on my own who better to ask for some looks outside the box than my friends and Spark community.

I am honestly conflicted on changing my weight goal. I have a few reasons for this and not sure why I am so undecided.

When I originally picked my goal of 160 pounds I based this on the last time I lost weight with weight watchers. My goal then was 140 pounds and I hit it. I was MISERABLE!!!! I had to eat minimum calories and exercise daily everyday to maintain this. I felt mad all the time and tired as well. I think I was underweight but had all the excess skin on me which was counting towards my weight. So when I picked this weight goal with Spark I tried to think about where I felt I looked good AND felt good. I came up with 160 pounds.

So here I am now weighing in last week at 170.9 pounds. I know I want to be in the 160s but I am wondering if 160 is just not right. Everyday I feel like I am done with this part of my journey. I feel amazing. I feel energetic. I feel HAPPY. I love how fit I am and continue to be. I feel like the other goals I am building towards are more important than my weight goals now. I am thinking maybe of changing my goal to 165 pounds. In the middle of my original goal and where I am now.

BUT I am feeling strange about changing it. I feel like I am cheating. Like I am saying I am done before I am crossing the finish line. Like I am celebrating before my completion. Then there is the other part that is bothering me. I am not at healthy BMI. I am kinda far from it. I believe I am sitting in the high 28s right now. In order for me to be in the healthy range I need to weigh about 155 pounds which wasn't too far away from my original goal but more from the goal I was thinking of changing to.

So I am so curious to see what my fellow sparklers think of this and maybe I will get some thoughts that I hadn't thought of since the same thoughts circle through my head all the time. I want to thank anyone reading and responding now but will warn you it will take me a couple days to respond possibly since I am on vacation this week but will try the best I can!!! Have a great day!!!
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Member Comments About This Blog Post:
BUBBLICIOUS6 9/21/2012 12:52PM

    What I would do? I wouldn't change a thing........the number is only a number.

Back in 1988, when I was at 221 lbs and had enough of it, I joined Weight Watchers. From Canadian Thanksgiving to mid April of 1989, I lost 41 lbs. My goal weight was to get to 175 lbs. So, 41 pounds was gone within 6 months. I continued to go to WW for another year, I plateaued at 179 lbs. for all that time. I still ate sensibly, I still drank my water, I still exercised, I was very aware of everything I consumed. Do you think I could get lower than 179 lbs? If I could hit my goal, I would not have had to pay weekly as I did. At that time, WW knew that I was 4 lbs. away from goal weight but I still had to pay because they would not budge on my plateau level. I finally came to terms with that, decided not to continue with WW and keep paying with no more weight loss but I did continue to eat like I did.

This told me that my body was very comfortable at 179 lbs. I have a big frame, I am big boned, I'm 5' 10" and realized that there was no way I could get down to my goal weight. My body was obviously telling me........uh, uh. Nope. I'm happy where I'm at and that's it.

Since having put some weight back on throughout those years until now, I have been just under 200 lbs. When I started SP, I weighed in at 199 lbs. And I didn't set an unrealistic goal for myself with SP.

I set my goal to 180 lbs. but whether I'll ever get there or not, I'm not sure. But, I'm not going to worry about it as I continue to track everything, I continue to exercise and have been able to exercise more than before when I first started.

I am not getting frustrated with staying the same weight right now for the last month. Because from experience, I know how hard it was for me to try and hit goal weight. I would rather you be happy with feeling great about yourself, rather than be unhappy struggling for more pounds off. So, I say to you........keep on doing what you're doing. It is most important that you are feeling great! There is nothing better than feeling amazed about your progress and feel soooooooo good, so fit and so wonderful! Keep up the great work! Your body will tell you exactly what and where it loves to be.

Hugs, Irene

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MRFUZZ 9/15/2012 12:39PM

    This was a great blog because it is real life, and so many of us feel the same way! Thanks for making it feel ok to be happy where we are. We are much healthier than where we used to be. They are just numbers. My coworker who eats very healthy, goes to the gym just about daily, and has for years...well, when he got his wt and bp checked yesterday for our insurance, they suggested he should start going to the gym!? What?! Yes, his BMI was "too high", and to the insurance folks it was just a number. They had no idea that he really is healthy, works out at the gym just about every day, eats healthy. He has done this for all the 15 years I have known him. We can't try to please a chart. We actually have to live. emoticon

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BOMBSHELLBEAN 8/21/2012 9:23PM

    My only advice is FORGET THE SCALE. If you are happier and living a healthier fuller life who cares what the number on the scale says. Keep up doing the things you know you should, look for continued non scale victories and most of all enjoy the body you have worked so hard to obtain. emoticon

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KEIPONY 8/21/2012 5:48PM

    All good advice, if you are happy just maintain see what happens. Change your goal instead of weight, something else....miles, minutes of workout......

Like another Sparkie said - your goals will continually change, maybe change up something to see if it helps you lose the 10 lbs.

This is your journey, do what feels right for you - you have accomplished so much already, don't settle but don't push yourself into dreading everything

Take care

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CATBEFIT 8/21/2012 3:28PM

    I think you have gotten terrific advice from everyone else. I just want reinforce -- it is just one number of so many numbers you need to consider. As is BMI (which measures in ranges because of all the variables). If you have good health numbers in other areas, you are energetic, and happy with yourself, then I can't think of a whole lot more that a person needs (okay, love, family, etc -- but you know what I mean).

Your accomplishments to date are fantastic. Don't waste a minute feeling guilty.
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DOODIE59 8/21/2012 12:43PM

    Can I weigh in on this?:) If you are feeling good at a certain weight, that is WONDERFUL. Set your goal to 165. Live at that weight. Love it for a good time. After all, maintenance is the HARD part of this journey. Then, at some point down the road, you can ask yourself: Am I still feeling good at this weight? If you think you have another 5 lb to lose, go for it then.

Congratulations on your journey to better health.
Deirdre

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NEEKEPOO 8/21/2012 9:48AM

    I am so inspired by this blog! I agree with all the previous posts and I think that at whatever weight you are comfortable with is perfect right now! Where you are on your journey always changes and if you are inflexible it can weigh you down. It reminds me of some story I heard about two trees. I really can't remember it but the jest of it was that one was strong and rigid and the other was thin and the wind would blow and whip the tree around. Ultimately when a bad storm hit the strong tree fell and the thin flexible tree survived. I think the fact that you are putting so much thought into the decision means that you are taking it seriously and definitely are NOT cheating! You have worked hard and you have been successful. Maybe it is time to take a break and enjoy the progress you have made. Then you can be like the flexible tree and if there comes a time that you want to change your goal again you will still be standing and able to make that change then. You rock, you are amazing and I am inspired by you!'

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KINEPS 8/21/2012 8:47AM

  I've read the previous comments and agree. I don't think you should judge what weight you should be at because of what the scale says. Use it as a tool to give you an idea where you're at . . . but ultimately, how you feel and how your clothes fit is more important. If you feel happy, healthy and confident where you are now -- than that's perfect for you. It's no one's business what number you put as your goal weight -- and anyone who makes a comment has a problem.

As another SP friend commented . . . try maintaining this weight for a while. If you can do that and are still happy -- than that's where you should stay. If you then decide to try to drop another 5 or 10 pounds - that's up to you.

You've done so much and come so far, don't let a number get in the way of your happiness!!

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Maryann

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CJADERUN 8/21/2012 8:43AM

    What my mom didn't mention, though I think she should have (despite the fact that you know already) is that one of the factors of her changing her end goal from 150 to 160 was that she went and got her body fat checked. When she saw how low it was, that confirmed that changing her end goal was just fine.

I won't say that BMI is full of it, but I WILL admit that it is an approximation, not the rule. It's a good indicator for me because I, frankly, am very young and did not gain enough to have excess skin, so there won't be any weird extra weight. You don't know where all your weight is coming from. Logically, it's bone, fluids, fat, muscle, and skin, but the proportions here are kind of important. I recommend getting a body fat test. If it's fairly low, then that means you're HEALTHY, and that your personal BMI is going to be slightly skewed.

Also: yes, this might be a GOAL, but it's not the END. Remember that we are on a journey, and it's not over just because we hit our goal weight. We will still be working hard, we will still be eating right, and we will push ourselves forever. The end of the journey isn't a weight, the end of the journey is death. We are on a journey for a healthy life, not for a goal weight. So changing your goal to what is right for you doesn't matter as long as you FEEL GOOD and ARE HEALTHY.

And, like my mom said, you can ALWAYS change your mind. Make 165 your goal NOW. Maybe 160 will be a goal LATER. If you feel good, and your doctor is happy with your weight, then you've already made it.

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BAZOOKABOBCAT 8/21/2012 8:41AM

    BMI is not the end all and be all of health markers. How is your blood pressure? Your blood sugar? Your cholesterol? We all know your fitness levels are above average, mama. You're a runner!

Fact is, I got down to my skinniest with Weight Watchers, too. But it was not maintainable for me either. To keep a six pack and that "ideal" scale weight, I had to barely eat and work out for at least an hour six days a week.

There HAS to be balance. There has to be happiness. Your journey is amazing. You've found that "happy weight". You're not cheating. You are happy.

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HEALING_LORI 8/21/2012 8:10AM

    Ultimately the goal is to be happy!
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Like everyone says, the scale is just a number. There are so many other factors to weight loss, health and our bodies. To be happy and healthy should be our focus. My ultimate goal is to not have my weight affect my life. I mean, when I can do anything I want to do and my body doesn't hold me back, I will be happy. Sounds like you're in a great place and there is no need to stress over numbers. Congrats on coming so far and finding yourself!
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FANGFACEKITTY 8/21/2012 6:04AM

    You've gotten a lot of good advice already so I won't repeat it. At the end of the day your goal weight is simply an arbitrary number. If you are comfortable and happy with 165 or 170 then you are...you don't need to become obsessive and unhappy just to satisfy the tyranny of the scale. We are constantly changing so why try to peg our happiness to an unmovable number on the scale. Your goal is to feel good and be healthy.

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ZENNITH 8/21/2012 4:15AM

    Why don't you maintain where you are for a while? you can see what it feels like to maintain at your current weight and if and when your ready drop another 5-10lbs and try maintaining again.
BMI isn't always the best measure of being healthy, why don't you try body fat percentage. If I were you I would go with the electronic ones since a calipers may not be accurate if you mentioned excess skin. I would aim for a healthy body fat over a healthy BMI because you probably have a lot of muscle with all the working out you're doing.
Even if you decide to maintain where you are now, you are much healthier than you were so don't worry too much about fitting other peoples ideals.
Enjoy your vacation emoticon

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NEW-CAZ 8/21/2012 3:24AM

    GOSPARK45 is correct about the BMI and I'd go by what feels right for you.
If you are healthy and happy that is the place to be, the scales are only a guide!


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GOSPARK45 8/21/2012 2:36AM

    Definitely don't worry about the BMI. They said it was just an approximate because it didn't take into account several factors such as muscle, bone structure, etc. Its just an estimate. Surely we're on this journey to be healthy not to be some phantom "correct" weight.
You've done so much. Be happy with it. Good luck on maintenance. If it feels right, I bet it is.
Congrats for doing so well.

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POPSY190 8/21/2012 1:30AM

    I agree with your other readers. There's more to well-being than a number on a scale and there are even questions over the validity of the BMI. I think 165 sounds fine. My GP laid it on the line to me not to focus too much on reaching a particular figure so I am a few kilos heavier than SP set for me. The doctor said that there's no real evidence that a few more kilos would make any difference to health, and that it is better to be at something sustainable than to be constantly striving and unhappy about trying to reach a "perfect" weight. I had the same experience as you did with WW - eventually I just couldn't eat so little and exercise so much, and was tired all the time. Good luck, whatever you decide.

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KEEPITUP05 8/21/2012 12:10AM

    Keep making healthy choices and set a realistic goal. If 165 seems good then set it at 165. When you reach that goal then decide whether you want to continue losing or if you want to maintain. It's pretty obvious by the progress you are making that you are not cheating! Keep it up! emoticon

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COCK-ROBIN 8/20/2012 11:04PM

    your goal weight should be what is right for you, not anybody else, for that is who you're doing it for. So don't fret about it. If that is what you're happy with, I'm happy for you. I set my goal about 165 when I should be about 150. I felt I couldn't maintain such a low weight myself. So go for the goal you set for yourself, and be happy!

That song "Don't Worry, Be Happy" comes to my mind right now.

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MARYANN2323 8/20/2012 11:01PM

    One other thing to consider: The BMI does not take into consideration if you are flabby or muscular. When muscle is involved it throws off your BMI. emoticon

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TRAVELGRRL 8/20/2012 10:20PM

    I agree with everyone -- your goal weight is up to YOU! You are a million times healthier than you were at 250+ so the fact that your BMI is "higher" than the stupid chart is no big deal. Even the experts say it is a flawed system!

I always think about the Beck Diet Solution that differentiates between your lowest attainable weight vs. your lowest SUSTAINABLE weight. If you aren't happy and feel tired or resentful all the time, that's not the right weight for you. I also think that as we get older we can carry more weight and still look good. The last thing I want to say is maybe with WW you were focusing on diet more, and now you have more muscle mass which weighs more but looks smaller.

NOBODY will think you are "cheating"; if you decide to stick at 165 great; but in time you might decide to try to lose a few more. It's really your decision -- and what a great decision to have!!!

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MARYANN2323 8/20/2012 10:01PM

    One thing you need to remember is that the # your scale shows you, is just that. A number. It takes nothing into consideration. Not how you feel physically, not how you are able to do things so much better than you could before. Not how your clothes fit. Not how you see yourself. Not how you FEEL. If you are happy with and comfortable in your body right now, then that is where you should be. Forcing yourself to reach a # that requires you to do things you are not happy to do, will only set you up for inevitable failure. You've come a remarkably long way. Be happy with it. Be ecstatic. Be PROUD. And above all, be YOU!! Not a # some scale tells you.
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POOKASLUAGH 8/20/2012 9:47PM

    Personally, I think that you should stop where you're most comfortable and happy, and work on maintaining it. Then, if down the road you decide you want to lose more, or if with your workouts you lose more anyway, you can always get down further. You can also set your first goal at that 165, then set the lower 160 goal at a much slower rate (like half a pound per week, or less), so that you get your body used to more maintenance level ranges. I don't think it's cheating at all. You have to do what you're most comfortable with. No point in getting too thin if it's going to make you miserable! And you have to remember that BMI is based on averages. If you have more muscle, it's not going to be as accurate.

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MENNOLY 8/20/2012 9:16PM

    You know I think the goal should be a bit fluid. When I started losing weight, my goal was 180 pounds. I had never spent much of my life at that weight so I though getting down to that weight would work for me. Then I found SP and losing weight got a lot easier that it had been the previous 2 1/2 years. So I reset my goal to 150 so that I would have a healthy BMI. A while ago I started thinking that 150 was too drastic for me and adjusted it to 155. So I started thinking about it and changed my mind again. I decided that 160 would be my goal weight. I would live there for a year or so and then decide if that was right for me or if I should try to get down to 150 after all. Where I am going with this is that I feel pretty good at this weight. If I lose the last 9 pounds I will be in a better place than I have ever been since I was a kid. It gives my body a chance to find its equilibrium. It gives me a chance to not feel I am always striving for a new weight. I guess I am just tired of being so careful. I want some time to just stay static. So I set my goal at 160. I may change my mind, that is always an option but I need to maintain at 160 for a while.
What should you do? I don't know. You got down to 140 once. I can't imagine being 140. However you also said that being at 140 made you miserable. Maybe you like me just need some time to live in the smaller body before working towards an even smaller body. This probably doesn't help but its my mindset. Goodluck!

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